To expect some fanfare from DH for end of breastfeeding journey?

[Calmondeck]

Just that really… I always intended to breastfeed (but had no concept of how all-consuming it is in the first 6 months and didn’t really know how/when to stop) and DH was quite anti-formula. When DC was 18 months I declared myself ready to stop but he was diagnosed with cancer and DH thought breastfeeding could be a tool to help with the many many hospitalisations. Now at 23 months, DC has decided he’s done. Which feels wonderful it’s come to its natural conclusion. DH has not reacted in any way. I don’t know what I expected, AIBU to expect anything? Secretly I wish he would take this moment to reflect on how much I have given… (not just milk)…

it's just food

Breastfeeding is not just food - it becomes the baby's primary source of comfort. That will have been amplified a thousand times for OP while her son was having cancer treatment, which means she will have had no break and had the majority of the caring load for their baby. This is about so much more than food, and anyone with an ounce of empathy should be able to see that.

Oh don't be so bloody ridiculous! You clearly have zero idea of the impact of breastfeeding on a mum!! No-one else can feed your baby, 24/7. Any fucker can make up a bottle. In this case, the OP must have spent hours feeding her little boy in the most stressful of circumstances, and if you can't appreciate that, then you are completely lacking in empathy.

It baffles me when people are too stupid to appreciate the facts.

No fanfares required or sought in most cases - but in this one, I think the child's dad could express his appreciation.

I wish there was a “like” feature on @mnhq. The sad and unpleasant people who are choosing to come online to kick a mother of a child with cancer really should take a look at themselves. This kind of unpleasantness must be spilling out into every corner of your life.

I agree. It's shocking, disgusting and appalling.

Imagine turning a post where the mum of a child living with cancer has been breastfeeding throughout into a BF vs FF post.

Op breastfeeding means she has been the only one doing nights, hospital stays, being able to properly comfort her child, there's been no rest and no respite for op for 2 years, all while dealing with the emotional toll of her child being unwell too, and you don't think that sacrifice deserves ops husband to even mention it?

The mental gymnastics some of you do to justify offering your shitty opinions to the mother of a very unwell child is astounding.

Sounds like you need a bit of cherishing in general rather than specifically because of breastfeeding. But the end of breastfeeding just sort of closed the book and made you realise that, if that makes sense.

Agree with this too, and want to reiterate - the OP wanted "fanfare FROM DH" - not from any of you other miserable shithogs!

Where was I being nasty? She asked a question, I answered it. Having a different opinion to you does not mean I'm nasty, how childish you are. I wished her son the best, what else would you like me to do?

I really struggle to understand some of the attitudes on here which are so desperately seeking to minimise breastfeeding. I understand there can be a lot of pressure and judgment if you don’t BF which is horrible because IMO fed IS best. However I know I gave up bf’ing after 3 months not because my supply dried up or I had any physical issues but simply because I just bloody did not want to do it anymore. Being the only one available at night, not being to have a drink or to worry about whether I could express enough to just be able to go out for 1-2 hours on my own did my head in. It was exhausting, it felt very claustrophobic (to me) and I personally was very relieved when I gave myself permission to stop. However I have friends who carried on for 12-18 months and I wouldn’t ever dream of underplaying how tiring that must have been and I happily told them at the time how amazing they were for persevering with it.

And tbh if someone had judged me for giving up or (say if I’d chosen not to bf
) then I’d just think fuck off because I know I’m a really good mum however I feed. And who knows there might be another stage or part of motherhood that I take it to with more ease or that I am even better at than my friends who did extended bf.

That said I can understand it must be really hard for people who really want to bf but physically cant. But even then it doesn’t mean a mum who breastfed her toddler through cancer treatment doesn’t have every right to feel proud of that.

@user41

Hear hear!!

@allmyliesaretrue you're absolutely right.

Mother’s I know who formula feed aren’t responsible for all the feeds, including all the night feeds. They have partners or relatives doing it. If they decide to leave their baby for more than a couple of hours they can just do so, it doesn’t take days of planning and pumping. Breastfeeding is a dedication and sacrifice.