To NOT pick my DP up from the pub?

[Coraldeo]

I’m 21 weeks pregnant. DP has been playing golf today, then went to a local pub (10 minutes walk), which I dropped him to. I’ve been swimming with the kids (his two teenagers, my older child), taken them for lunch, got my hair done, come back and put the older child to bed.

I’ve put a late night snack in the oven, got my pyjamas and a movie on. Suffering with heartburn which has been common this pregnancy and obviously really tired.

DP texts me asking for a lift. He’s gone to another pub, so he’s now a 30 minute walk away, which is 10 minutes in the car. I said, I’m tired, have heartburn, I’ve put food in the oven and I just want to relax. He’s now calling me selfish, lazy and saying he’d have picked me up.

AIBU?

ODFO with the 'she's not disabled' shit.

I wasn't disabled. But I was throwing up all day every day and felt terrible.

We don't know how ill or tired she feels after a really busy day whilst he was off having a lovely child-free day with his mates.

He can get a bloody taxi!

There it is “children he palms off” like children are just little shits no one would ever want to be around and life is all about getting someone else to be with the little shits. That’s child hating. Most parents want to be around their children most of the time and there nothing wrong with one parent having a day to do a hobby while the other is with the kids. That is what you do.

And he wasn't 'stranded'

He was a 1/2 hour walk away on a pleasant spring evening.

Lovely bit of projection there, I’m sure that OP would have been very quick to mention anything like throwing up if she were experiencing any discomfort beyond being the usual end of the day tired.

They are not her kids though. He needs to take care of his own kids. And if OP does agree do look after them FOR HIM, he needs to be grateful and not guilt trip her for lifts when she’s pregnant and tired from looking after HIS kids whilst he gets drunk.

Well, as I say your standards are incredibly low if you think it is acceptable that lounging on the sofa and watching telly is a valid reason to not get off your arse and spend 20mins total giving your partner a lift.

That poster described here own symptoms, not OP’s.

But OP did say ‘Suffering with heartburn which has been common this pregnancy and obviously really tired.’

He’s calling his pregnant partner selfish and lazy? Not good at all

@ChopperC110P

'Stranded'?

He was only a half an hour walk away, having chosen to go there despite originally only being a 5/10 minute walk from home.

'Stranded' is a little hyperbolic as a description of that, no?

They’re her step kids and they are teens. Teenagers are really self-sufficient. And I think it’s pretty fucked up dynamic tbh to expect a co-parent to be “grateful” to the other co-parent that they “let” them have a hobby day while they took care of the kids by themselves.

Wow, have you come off an MRA site?

If you read the quote history you will see I never once used the word “stranded” it was a response to me that used that word and yes they were being hyperbolic.

DP texts me asking for a lift. He’s gone to another pub, so he’s now a 30 minute walk away, which is 10 minutes in the car. I said, I’m tired, have heartburn, I’ve put food in the oven and I just want to relax

Op is perfectly reasonable to say no to picking him up because it is an imposition on her.

It doesn’t matter if it’s only 10 minutes drive away. The pub she dropped him off at was only 5 minutes walk away. She didn’t know he’d end up at another pub and text her to pick him up later in the evening. So, she’s set her herself up for a nice relaxing restful evening. She’s put on her pj’s, put food in the oven and presumably put her feet up. She is tired and really doesn’t want to have to go out in the car.

If she was my partner I would completely understand and be a mature adult and find my own way home. I wouldn’t crack the shits because she won’t drop everything for me at a moments notice.

It’s not like it was an emergency. Would be different if it was more like ‘I’ve been hit by a car and been taken to hospital in an ambulance. My foot is badly injured, they may have to amputate. Could you drive out to the hospital. I really need you?’ ‘Nah, I’m in my pj’s and a bit tired, I don’t want to have to go out.’

I’m a woman who believes in equality. I’d expect my partner to take twenty minutes out of their TV watching schedule to give me a lift, and what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

My husband wouldn't even have asked because he was thoughtful. He got to the pub so he can get back from the pub

Oops I did write stranded, so I’ve been hyperbolic just like everyone else pretending he’s an absent father who treats OP like an unpaid au pair. So I fit right in.

Lol. Good luck finding yourself a woman who's standards are so low she'd tolerate a man too idle for a 30 minute walk after being on HIS arse supping pints all day.

Nah, he won’t ask because he knows you wouldn’t have twenty minutes to do him a small favour. He puts up with it. As I am sure you put up with him. Not the best dynamic for a partnership in my opinion.

I’m a woman. So ha ha at your close mindedness in thinking all women think just like you.

What’s wrong with getting a taxi??

They’re bloody expensive. It’s a cost of living crisis. Why add to the expense of a day out when with only 20mins of minimal effort you can avoid the cost?

Cost of living crisis?? He's been out golfing and drinking all day! I'm sure he can stretch to a taxi

Yet again on mn two people who don't seem to like each other at all, having a baby together.

I swear some of the anti-step mum brigade sit twiddling their thumbs all day until they spot a thread by a step-mum.

How long until ‘you knew he had kids when you got with him’?

If you say so.