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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To NOT pick my DP up from the pub?

289 replies

Coraldeo · 29/04/2023 22:42

I’m 21 weeks pregnant. DP has been playing golf today, then went to a local pub (10 minutes walk), which I dropped him to. I’ve been swimming with the kids (his two teenagers, my older child), taken them for lunch, got my hair done, come back and put the older child to bed.

I’ve put a late night snack in the oven, got my pyjamas and a movie on. Suffering with heartburn which has been common this pregnancy and obviously really tired.

DP texts me asking for a lift. He’s gone to another pub, so he’s now a 30 minute walk away, which is 10 minutes in the car. I said, I’m tired, have heartburn, I’ve put food in the oven and I just want to relax. He’s now calling me selfish, lazy and saying he’d have picked me up.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 01/05/2023 20:07

CornishGem1975 · 01/05/2023 19:25

Haha take a fucking chill pill @SargentSagittarius It was a direct response to another comment, not an insightful opinion, but yes I still stand by it. It's not an illness, that's not male worshipping, that's ridiculous. The hatred for men on Mumsnet is next level, no wonder so many have relationship issues.

It's the opposite. I know that many of the women here who don't put up with this nonsense are the ones in HAPPY marriages who LOVE men. Because we have great ones we don't understand the acceptance of piss poor arseholes.

If my DH asked for a lift and I said, "no I'm knackered" he would suck it up. Because he's a good man. Pregnant with heartburn and babysitting all day? He wouldn't even ask.

billy1966 · 01/05/2023 20:49

Devoutspoken · 30/04/2023 17:34

Golf all day, pub all night, kids from the ex missus looked after by the new missus - he's got it made

Hasn't he just🙄

One born every minute as they say.

God help her!

SmallFerret · 01/05/2023 22:11

CornishGem1975 · 01/05/2023 19:25

Haha take a fucking chill pill @SargentSagittarius It was a direct response to another comment, not an insightful opinion, but yes I still stand by it. It's not an illness, that's not male worshipping, that's ridiculous. The hatred for men on Mumsnet is next level, no wonder so many have relationship issues.

We all get it - pregnancy isn't an illness.

Pregnancy-induced tiredness & heartburn is though.

LaDamaDeElche · 01/05/2023 22:24

No. If I go for a night out I don't expect my DH to pick me up. He's at home chilling. I get a cab, like a normal person.

wellstopdoingitthen · 01/05/2023 22:54

Why can't he walk home?

Stay where you are. I think he's the selfish one.

Simianwalk · 01/05/2023 22:59

CornishGem1975 · 01/05/2023 12:45

It's not an illness.

Show quote history

Nor is being a lazy fuck.
I often walk home from the pub, it's about 45 minutes. Would never ask DH for a lift. I walk there as well. My legs are a bit old but I'm not decrepit.

AmateurDad · 01/05/2023 23:04

I understand none of you people who get into your nightwear early evening then sit around in it. But to come to the point: your day’s work, by that point, was more than done. He can get an Uber or walk.

Patricia333 · 01/05/2023 23:20

Apologies if already asked but
he’s spent hours WALKING around the golf course and now can’t manage an extra 30 minutes?
YANBU OP

NatashaDancing · 01/05/2023 23:37

LaDamaDeElche · 01/05/2023 22:24

No. If I go for a night out I don't expect my DH to pick me up. He's at home chilling. I get a cab, like a normal person.

Same here - and he wouldn't expect me to collect him. Although that doesn't seem to be normal.

JustAnotherManicMomday · 01/05/2023 23:41

Your pregnant, your child is in bed and he should be home parenting his own children.

SargentSagittarius · 02/05/2023 01:07

CornishGem1975 · 01/05/2023 19:25

Haha take a fucking chill pill @SargentSagittarius It was a direct response to another comment, not an insightful opinion, but yes I still stand by it. It's not an illness, that's not male worshipping, that's ridiculous. The hatred for men on Mumsnet is next level, no wonder so many have relationship issues.

A ‘fucking’ chill pill? Is that different from a regular one?

How is it ‘man hating’ to have zero tolerance for feckless, selfish oafs?

Seriously confused by that one. Surely you aren't saying ALL men are feckless, selfish oafs? Because if so, you’re far more ‘man hating’ than I could ever dream of being.

I certainly don’t know any men like that - the men in my life are absolutely lovely - kind, loving, decent, caring, thoughtful, empathetic.

I have no idea what sort of dickheads you’ve surrounded yourself by, that you think all men are like the poor OP’s DH. But I’m really sorry for you that that’s your situation.

The OP was tired after looking after her DH’s kids all day. That tiredness was exacerbated by the fact she’s pregnant. No, it’s not an illness 🙄 but growing a human inside you does make some women tired.

He’s being a feckless, selfish oaf by having a lovely day all day with his mates. And then calling her names for not wanting to haul ass out at night to pick him up.

Defending a man like this is just so bizarre.

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/05/2023 02:47

I was supposed to share a taxi home after a party after DP, who offered to drive him and me days before, bailed because he was still feeling crap from a work night the night before. But they left without me.

I was staying at his that weekend (we live seperately through choice) and texted to tell him this so that I would be late back. He said straight away, dont call another taxi I will come and get you. In that situation, I would do the same for him. But I didnt go out expecting him to pick me up and neither would he. We have done it for each other on occasion but it has always been offerered from the driver, not expected by the person who is going out.

But the OP is the lazy selfish cow in this?! Blows my mind that anyone would even allow that thought space in their head.

Boysnana · 02/05/2023 09:15

I would tell him to foxtrot Oscar straight away. Selfish arse he is.

LoisLane66 · 02/05/2023 15:27

Lol ..he'd pick YOU up? Yeah, but he's never gonna be pregnant, have heartburn throughout the pregnancy, do all you have done being pregnant. He's the selfish b' stard.
Don't let his dreadful disrespectful attitude get you down. You're doing a great job. 💐

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