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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Breeder has not giving us her address to view puppy

240 replies

Safarigiraffe · 29/04/2023 16:10

Hi we were looking for a spaniel breeder and found one not too far from us, price agreed with deposit agreed, breeder had chat on phone with us to find out about us & all was good. Arranged with breeder to visit puppy tomorrow at her house by phone however she said to us she would give us her address but up to now she hasn’t. So AIBU to think that she isn’t going to give us the chance to view the puppy considering we have deposit to pay her? Or are we missing something here that maybe she’s just been busy?

OP posts:
Jourdain11 · 29/04/2023 21:18

DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 29/04/2023 20:06

If someone text me "We was interested in ya puppies can we come tom?" I might definitely have a long think about whether to continue the conversation.

Snob!
We is all going to get deleted anyway, I suspect.

Showmethefood · 29/04/2023 21:23

What I would say OP is please make sure that you research the breed properly. We have a cocker spaniel and they take a lot of hard work. They are amazing dogs - so clever and loyal BUT they need stimulation and exercise. We take ours on three walks a day and take her to dog training classes as well as do independent training with her. It’s exhausting sometimes.
If you don’t put the work in they are bouncy and destructive- this is not their fault - they just need to be stimulated.

The very least any dog deserves is love, good food, exercise and stimulation. If you can’t provide that - please don’t get one.

TheUsualChaos · 29/04/2023 21:27

Safarigiraffe · 29/04/2023 16:14

We got breeder from a website called pets for homes

No good breeder needs to use websites like Pets for Homes. I would leave it and start looking again.

Putyourdamnshoeson · 29/04/2023 22:01

HipHipCimorene · 29/04/2023 19:12

Batteries Cat and Dogs Home
Rspca
The Dogs Trust
or
Ask the PDSA

Unless you have children under 12 (or sometimes 15) have a cat, this is your first family dog, you work outside of the home at all, you don't have demonstrable previous experience with particular breed, there is a vowel in the month.

We tried for YEARS to adopt, I grew up with dogs, my uncle bred dogs for work and show, I spent a lot of time around them. When we started looking I worked 12 hours a week, with DH WFH for some of that time. We own our own home, with a large secure garden. But we had cats (now one cat), DH had never lived with a dog and at that point, DCs were 7 and 9.

It is not as simple as 'adopt don't shop'.

Brefugee · 29/04/2023 22:02

YABU - get a rescue dog.

Jourdain11 · 29/04/2023 22:11

Brefugee · 29/04/2023 22:02

YABU - get a rescue dog.

Yeah, agree. And love the username! I'm a brefuser!

Brefugee · 29/04/2023 22:13

Jourdain11 · 29/04/2023 22:11

Yeah, agree. And love the username! I'm a brefuser!

Season 6 Dancing GIF by CBBC

😁

HipHipCimorene · 29/04/2023 22:13

Putyourdamnshoeson · 29/04/2023 22:01

Unless you have children under 12 (or sometimes 15) have a cat, this is your first family dog, you work outside of the home at all, you don't have demonstrable previous experience with particular breed, there is a vowel in the month.

We tried for YEARS to adopt, I grew up with dogs, my uncle bred dogs for work and show, I spent a lot of time around them. When we started looking I worked 12 hours a week, with DH WFH for some of that time. We own our own home, with a large secure garden. But we had cats (now one cat), DH had never lived with a dog and at that point, DCs were 7 and 9.

It is not as simple as 'adopt don't shop'.

We weren’t able to get a dog from some because we had young kids and cats. However the rspca were happy for us to have a puppy ( we originally wanted an older dog as we felt they are harder to find a home, but we weren’t allowed because of kids and cats )

My db had dogs as a child. I never did.

So we now have a lab/ staff cross. From the rspca. But yes we had to check around a lot.

Putyourdamnshoeson · 29/04/2023 22:25

HipHipCimorene · 29/04/2023 22:13

We weren’t able to get a dog from some because we had young kids and cats. However the rspca were happy for us to have a puppy ( we originally wanted an older dog as we felt they are harder to find a home, but we weren’t allowed because of kids and cats )

My db had dogs as a child. I never did.

So we now have a lab/ staff cross. From the rspca. But yes we had to check around a lot.

Where I live, the local shelter, large very dominant charity, seems to have a monopoly on dogs. The RSPCA literally seem to get cats, bunnies, horses and the occasional majorly reactive dog. We were matched with one at an RSPCA centre 300 miles away, right before the COVID lockdown, when it was already a bit iffy to travel unnecessarily. We were actively looking for 3 years by the time we gave up and bought our darling girl, from a breeder on Pets for Homes. We did research the breeder and breed thoroughly though, because contrary to the polarised views on here, not everyone advertising on there is a charlatan.

bamboonights · 29/04/2023 22:30

Greengold123 · 29/04/2023 16:46

Pets for homes is a notorious back yard breeder / puppy farm site.

NEVER buy a puppy without seeing the parents and home environment

Absolutely. Pets4Homes should be banned. Please go to a breed club OP - or take a look at

www.champdogs.co.uk/?mobile_site=1

where you can see clearly breeders who health test their dogs.

Good luck.

bamboonights · 29/04/2023 22:37

Thoughtful2355 · 29/04/2023 17:13

I bought a puppy from pets4homes. was a puppy farm. Pup was in bad shape i found out at vets visit. be very careful

This.

ResisterRex · 29/04/2023 22:43

OP already lots of advice and pointing out of red flags. If you have kids, don't take them with you. If it's a puppy farm, it'll be nigh on impossible for you to back out if the kids have been and seen the pups.

Hello12345678910 · 29/04/2023 22:47

teacoffee1 · 29/04/2023 16:13

When I was buying my puppy, the breeder met me at a local carpark, made sure I was who I said I was and then once he was happy and had a copy of ID he asked me to follow him to his address to view the puppy.
Breeders don't want to give out their address to anyone, as if you were someone who robs puppies to resell them, you have the exact address and can strike at any moment.

Yes exactly this
When we sold pups we gave the postcode and asked them to ring when they were at it, met them at their car and then walked to the house with them

HipHipCimorene · 29/04/2023 23:09

Putyourdamnshoeson · 29/04/2023 22:25

Where I live, the local shelter, large very dominant charity, seems to have a monopoly on dogs. The RSPCA literally seem to get cats, bunnies, horses and the occasional majorly reactive dog. We were matched with one at an RSPCA centre 300 miles away, right before the COVID lockdown, when it was already a bit iffy to travel unnecessarily. We were actively looking for 3 years by the time we gave up and bought our darling girl, from a breeder on Pets for Homes. We did research the breeder and breed thoroughly though, because contrary to the polarised views on here, not everyone advertising on there is a charlatan.

Great you got your dog.
We also had to go about 200miles to get ours.
Not easy is it.

But they’re worth it.

ridemesideway · 29/04/2023 23:19

I have a Springer. We adopted him at 10 weeks of age from a rescue. He’s a purebred.
I’d run a mile from that breeder.

You do know that Springers need a minimum of 90 minutes’ exercise every day? Endless energy.

Paperbagsaremine · 29/04/2023 23:49

Showmethefood · 29/04/2023 21:23

What I would say OP is please make sure that you research the breed properly. We have a cocker spaniel and they take a lot of hard work. They are amazing dogs - so clever and loyal BUT they need stimulation and exercise. We take ours on three walks a day and take her to dog training classes as well as do independent training with her. It’s exhausting sometimes.
If you don’t put the work in they are bouncy and destructive- this is not their fault - they just need to be stimulated.

The very least any dog deserves is love, good food, exercise and stimulation. If you can’t provide that - please don’t get one.

Absolutely, all the Springer owners I know are marathon runners! And even then, the dogs seem inexhaustible!

Addymontgomeryfan · 29/04/2023 23:52

ridemesideway · 29/04/2023 23:19

I have a Springer. We adopted him at 10 weeks of age from a rescue. He’s a purebred.
I’d run a mile from that breeder.

You do know that Springers need a minimum of 90 minutes’ exercise every day? Endless energy.

Onw of my dogs is a spaniel breed, clumber rather than springer, but yes 100% they have endless energy 😂.

OP you say your husband has experience training the breed, if so get him to speak to people he already knows rather than an unknown breeder. But from what others have said about your previous posts with the fact you both work I really think you need to wait until you are in a position to spend more time at home before getting a puppy. I can honestly say that a puppy is harder work than a baby.

Bodenesque · 30/04/2023 00:00

Shannith · 29/04/2023 16:23

Please write this one off as a no go.

It's a puppy farm and the condition they keep the bitches in are horrific. Most of the pups are badly socialised and in some instances ill because they are so badly bred.

Pretty much everyone selling on pets at home are puppy farms.

What breed are you looking for? There will be people ok here who can point you to reputable breeders who breed healthy pups from well looked after parents.

Most of these people use a puppy farm close to where i live. Your puppy is probably being picked up and making a lengthy journey to you.
Please pick up on the signs and walk away.

DutifulDaughterWifeMother · 30/04/2023 00:02

Hey OP, a genuine breeder/seller won’t ignore you. If she had a lot on or something had happened you would have heard by now seeing as you had arranged to meet. I had also bought my dog from that site during lockdown & we FaceTimed every other day as I wanted the puppy to have heard our voices well mine in the end as the kids went schtum. I saw the whole litter & mum, who at times couldn’t wait to get away from the puppies. I had the mum & dads details to check they were KC registered. This does smell fishy and if I were you just block her number & move on. You will find the dog you are after just look a bit closer to home.

Holidayheaven2 · 30/04/2023 00:22

For future reference OP, a reputable & responsible breeder will provide a written contract which states in it that they will take back the puppy at ANY AGE.

Was this discussed? Also, we still would like to know please (if you return to this thread) what you did actually tell this ‘breeder’.

WiddlinDiddlin · 30/04/2023 05:00

ChiChaNaYubi · 29/04/2023 19:10

Out of interest, what is the best way to go about getting a puppy?

First work out what sort of dog you want.

Look at the breed groups - gundogs, working dogs, utility breeds (this is the 'doesn't really have a job/we're not sure/no other category wants them lot), toy breeds, hounds and terriers.

Doesn't matter if you think you want a designer crossbreed or a good ole mix - start there.

Make a list of wants and absolute 'cannot haves' for physical or behavioural qualities (but keep in mind whatever the breed, they're all dogs and can all behave like dogs!).

Use this info to narrow down the breeds you'd like to know more about - remember seeing videos and photos of them is NOT in any way comparable to seeing them inside someones home (and ideally, a home much like yours).

If you do want a designer cross or very expensive mutt or cheap mutt - still do the above, because if you really DON'T like the traits of say, Cocker Spaniels and Poodles, then theres a bloody good chance you will not like a Cockerpoo. Crossbreeding does not guarantee the good points or the bits you like about each breed, you stand a similar chance of getting the bad bits or bits you don't like!

From here on, decide do you want to do your very best to have a healthy (mentally and physically) puppy and do the work and pay for that (on the understanding there are no guarantees but you can stack the odds in your favour).

Or do you not mind a bit of a gamble.

If you don't want a gamble, go find the Breed Clubs and Societys (just google 'xyz breed club uk') for your breed and they'll have a puppy person or contact the secretary. They can help you talk to breeders to meet adult dogs in their home or at shows, and you can start to narrow things down further.

They'll also help you learn about the health of the breed, tests that are necessary and other useful info about the breed.

Then you should if you go down this path, find a reputable breeder, producing kennel club registered puppies, from health tested parents (there will be records of these results, see them, have them explained to you, these are not a veterinary check to say 'yes this ones alive and healthy' they are specific to conditions and parents should not be bred with out them. Some are annual, some are one offs.) They should be bred in the home (there are a few exceptions to this) and the beginnings of socialisation and habituation to general family life should be started with the breeder.

If you want to take a gamble, you aren't bothered about what your puppy might look like or you want to take on an older dog and think you can afford to take risks with health - go to a rescue.

Because if you aren't bothered about KC registration, health tests, puppies being raised IN the home, socialisation, habituation, etc... but want a brand new puppy, then you'll be funding puppy farmers, commercial farmers of puppies as 'livestock'.

And in that case you might as well rescue their rejects and overstock at a tenth of the price from a rescue, which is where they and their parents will end up. Or hang fire until they are 10 to 18 months and the people who bought them on a whim will dump them in rescue - added bonus here is you know what they look like as adults!

PoseyFlump · 30/04/2023 07:41

we still would like to know please (if you return to this thread) what you did actually tell this ‘breeder’.

I second this.

Jellybebe · 30/04/2023 07:46

I would also like to know what you told the breeder given your previous threads please.

Bamboozleme · 30/04/2023 07:48

This breeder sounds very very good

On the basis of a couple of telephone conversations with this OP - her spidey senses started to tingle. Not only does the OP sound thick not the sharpest tool, she’s a downright liar.

Go breeder!

Jellybebe · 30/04/2023 07:58

Just to further add that OP was still working 35-38 hour weeks from a post in April.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4778906-am-i-being-underpaid-at-work

I am not usually one to trawl through posters previous posting history but I feel so strongly about dogs going to the right homes that I hate the thought of someone lying to a breeder.

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