I know it's been done to death, but I wish DH would stop WFH

[Iwrote]

Anyone else in the same boat?

DH has the office and I have the dining table, but he's up and down, chatting, getting drinks, moaning, generally distracting me until I have to ask him to please leave me in peace. He doesn't do anything useful in these frequent trips, too busy to empty the dishwasher but not busy enough to not drive me nuts.
Days I don't work I pick youngest up from nursery and then have to stop her busting in on her Dad when he's on calls etc, I feel like my home isn't my own.
I wish he'd just fuck off back to the office, as least a few days a week. I know there's a commute, but I feel like I'm a woman on the edge.

@SecretsIWouldNeverTell do you not think that would've been an issue in the office?

Indeed! Why does being an extrovert wfh mean that you get to inflict your unwanted company on others 😂?

Does that work for people living alone as well? Can they "kidnap" the postman or some unsuspecting Amazon delivery driver and demand that they interrupt their workday to provide human interaction in the place of office colleagues?

This thread is worrying isn’t it? Presumably mostly women.. and yet is so sexist against women! We as mothers have to juggle work, put up with the husband coming down and disturbing us… then when the child is home we have to stop
working to keep the child entertained and well behaved so the husband who wasted half his day moaning can finish off his work.. and if the toddler dare disturb the fathers work then ‘oh what a terrible mother you are’……
some of the claims on here are incredible…. Toddlers staying quiet for 8 hours!!….. sitting and doing crafts unsupervised all day! Wowser we have some real Einstein’s in some of these homes!! Toddlers actually can’t entertain themselves, have an attention span of a gold fish and certainly wouldn’t sit colouring or cutting out and gluing stuff at a year old… got to admire all these amazing parents on mumsnet though that come on here purely to be condescending to others …
I can’t believe that a husband is disturbing a wife working and the response isn’t that he’s out of order but that she is!….. and when the child disturbs him in the way he’s been disturbing his wife, it’s still the wife’s fault!! Like it’s ok for the man to walk around the house being a nuisance but the toddler is so undisciplined for doing the same 😂

Totally agree, I feel only a mum knows how hard it is and what hope is there when other mums can't have any empathy

Absolutely. We expect so much of toddlers, who are essentially overgrown babies, but our standards for men are apparently on the floor. Toddlers must be seen and not heard and must never disturb the great man working, but men are allowed to wander wherever they like around the house and disturb their wives whenever they fancy a a bit of company/lunch/a hot drink.

It's not the toddlers who need to hear 'NO!' more often.

Maybe you could use a hobby to keep you from trolling threads that you have nothing of value to add. Just a thoughtful suggestion.

Thank you! 👋😊 At my age, trolls goading me just makes me laugh.

I feel for the OP and think that if her DH would just grow up and realize he is not the center of the universe and the world does not revolve around him, they both could WFH without the stress both are feeling. Then, their DC could come home and not be feeling tension in the home, which would make it easier to get her cooperation.
JMHO

Oh but the kids ignore their parents, so what can they possibly do?

Agree, with you totally!

Agree! @nomoredrinomoredrivingytu has more issues than all of us put together 🤣

If he wants the office and doesn't like screaming toddlers bothering him, why don't you lock him in from 9 to 5 and let him out for toilet/lunch breaks? or he could lock you in the office? but I'm guessing that you'd happily lock yourself in 😂

@T1Dmama

This thread is worrying isn’t it? Presumably mostly women.. and yet is so sexist against women! We as mothers have to do our work, and put up with the husband disturbing us... and then when the child is home we have to stop working to keep the child entertained and well behaved so the husband who wasted half his day moaning can finish off his work...

And if the toddler dare disturb the father's work then ‘oh what a terrible mother you are’……

Some of the claims on here are incredible…. Toddlers staying quiet for 8 hours?! Sitting and doing crafts unsupervised all day! Wowser we have some real Einsteins in some of these homes!! Toddlers actually can’t entertain themselves, have an attention span of a goldfish, and certainly wouldn’t sit colouring or cutting out and gluing stuff at a year old…

Got to admire all these amazing parents on mumsnet though that come on here purely to be condescending to others …

I can’t believe that a husband is disturbing a wife working, and the response isn’t that he’s out of order but that she is!….. And when the child disturbs him in the way he’s been disturbing his wife, it’s still the wife’s fault!! Like it’s ok for the man to walk around the house being a nuisance, but the toddler is so undisciplined for doing the same. 😂

NAILED IT! ^ 😎

PERFECTLY said! ⬆

Agree. Apart from the goady Tasmanian Devil style posters, there’s another group that seems to have arrived recently, oddly proud of a 50s style viewpoint. It’s like the Mrs Hinch equivalent of parenting. I wonder whether it’s a generational thing or a new to Mumsnet demographic thing. You can’t argue with them because they’re so proud of themselves, it’s almost admirable.

OP, I've had to be very firm with my dh about fucking off back to the office, to coin a phrase.

He experiences this as some sort of rejection of him. I've explained that it's about my needs to have a day (ideally two) of being in the house (working) by myself. I'm more than happy, and indeed do, to provide him with the same or accommodate his needs when at all possible..

I took a hard line 'I have no sympathy with you moaning about the children - you don't have to be here'. And 'they live here, it's their home' on loop repeat.

In your position, I would say 'Please don't interrupt me, I'm working' every single time he interrupts you and my response to him complaining about the toddler making a noise would be exactly as I posted above.

I was also going to suggest swapping rooms..
My husband is retired.......nuff said.

@AlphabetSue I think it all links with the obsessive nature about everything amongst some young women. All about 'the one' (until he isn't) they want the Instagram worthy family- perfect kitchen, perfect kids, don't seem to think anyone should have some space, constantly talk about family time etc .

So is mine, so I feel your (sometimes) pain!😜😲😬

@Nanaof1
We had children and grandchildren during that time and never had a problem.
I thought you were Nana of 1 😂😂

You seem to be utterly obsessed with Nanaof1, @Babycakes6 . Stop stalking them all over the board and harassing them.

I’m glad I’m not the only one who has noticed that.

@Tiddlypomtiddlypom and @Neopolitan

Thank you both. She is an irksome one for sure.

Here is the thread that got her in a tizzy:
Stepdaughter eating too much fruit | Mumsnet
The few abusive posts of hers that remain are on the last pages (maybe 5 or 6).

You didn't ask, but I am a Nana to one and a "not quite step-grandma" to 2, who were old enough to call me by my name or Grandma when they came into my life. All three are the best young people ever. So smart, so athletic, so loving, caring and compassionate. I hit the lottery with the three of them. ❤💙❤