I know it's been done to death, but I wish DH would stop WFH

[Iwrote]

Anyone else in the same boat?

DH has the office and I have the dining table, but he's up and down, chatting, getting drinks, moaning, generally distracting me until I have to ask him to please leave me in peace. He doesn't do anything useful in these frequent trips, too busy to empty the dishwasher but not busy enough to not drive me nuts.
Days I don't work I pick youngest up from nursery and then have to stop her busting in on her Dad when he's on calls etc, I feel like my home isn't my own.
I wish he'd just fuck off back to the office, as least a few days a week. I know there's a commute, but I feel like I'm a woman on the edge.

@gannett exactly.....

I'm so depressed because I've leached off my DH for ever! Now they've done their whole working life and they've become surplus to requirements.... so I'm so depressed...

Ffs

What users, some women are!

The sex life claim surprised me, I must admit. While much about wfh v in person is different strokes for different folks, I thought the opportunity for extra quickies wfh often offers was a generally acknowledged benefit.

Absolutely a sex benefit here. As is a pub lunch with no child! We have a pub a few mins walk away (village). We have absolutely no family help and haven’t had a night out since DD born which we don’t mind-but we love a weekday pub lunch when we can afford it (it’s a pricey place).

Bloody hell, leached off?

To be honest though, the thread has shown we’re all different. That’s no bad thing, but it probably doesn’t take a lot of imagination to realise that if you have a DH WFH who is convinced it’s great because in his mind, he’s around a lot more, able to help a lot more, and really then what’s the problem, with a wife who is tearing her hair out then it’s very, very hard.

I am never on a different level to toddler aged ds, but when DH decides to stay in the house to WFH, he goes into a downstairs study area. Before we moved here, it was a bungalow. So it’s fair to say I’ve never really massively benefited from the DH who locks himself in an upstairs bedroom and never emerges all day, resulting in everyone forgetting he’s there at all.

I don’t want to come across as some sort of dour, horrible person here. It is just I have been dealing with this situation for the duration of ds’life (two years and nearly five months) and it does get me down. Today he announced that he will be going to the office for two days rather than the three he’s been summoned for but these two days are changing, so one day is one of my days off. So that’s something I suppose. I can probably deal with a whirlwind of activities once a week, but I am too tired at this stage of pregnancy to manage for two consecutive days and it’s very expensive as well, especially when you have to eat out.

You leave your desk every fifteen minutes??

@revealmyjackpot that's how I found it. Maybe that's because I'm older (61) and don't have young kids at home. I actually like to see other people and talk to other people but my role doesn't involve zoom/teams etc.

Can’t your work from your bedroom? That’s what I do. Working from the kitchen is a nightmare for everyone. I have a small foldable table and it’s the best solution.

Yeah, that's what I said!

Then they don't want their husbands to stop working..... fuck that!

Interesting that so many people spend their working hours shagging. No wonder employers are keen to get people back to the office.

Shagging aside, I'm thinking back to when my DC were pre-school age. Our home was absolutely our domain during the daytime. It was lovely when Daddy came home, obviously, but it would not have been lovely if Daddy had been there all day and I'd been having to tell them to be quiet. If he had been there, they would have known that, and I would have spent some of my time explaining to them why they couldn't disturb him. It would have changed the entire pattern of our lives for the worse.

I often had friends with small children over, and the children would run riot in the house while the friends and I tried to have half a conversation. They couldn't have done this is someone had been working. But young children who are at home with a parent (as opposed to farmed out to nurseries) have the right to a normal childhood, and this does not tend to include living in a parent's workplace.

Interesting that so many people spend their working hours shagging. No wonder employers are keen to get people back to the office.

Employers who think their staff's legally mandated and unpaid breaks count as working time are generally best avoided.

Fair enough. In that case, everyone who works outside the home can invite their OH for a quick shag in their lunch hour. I can't see any problem with that one.

If it were at say a hotel off the premises, how do you imagine it would be any more of the employer's business than a lunch break spent exercising, shopping or at a cafe? How would they even know about it?

I thought I said lunch hour shagging ...

What are you talking about working hours??

Interesting that so many people spend their working hours shagging. No wonder employers are keen to get people back to the office.

People have said lunch hours. This week in my lunch hours I've done housework, gone to the dentist, gone for a walk. When I was pregnant I used to nap. None of those are in my working hours, and my employer doesn't care what I do at lunch.

WFH for a year ruined my marriage. I lost my study and had to put up with his huffing and puffing and swearing when stressed. Also had 3 DC at home for schooling. Nightmare! Then he fucked off for 2yrs working away. Back now and WFH 1 day then increased it to 2 days. And comes home early afternoon to WFH to save 30mins on the commute. Doesn’t help at all ok his WFH mornings to get DC organised and out the door. Leaves it all to me, or if he takes them to an AS activity I’m still getting them ready. I WFH 4-6hrs a day and need my peace

I’ve had plenty of lunchtime shags while
working in the office in my time too-I used to go home when we lived nearer pre DC as DH has worked from home for the entire time I’ve known him, nothing to do with Covid.

It’s just a bit easier now when I’m already at home now and less knackered.

The opportunities are called breaks. I manage to be a senior manager and still have those.

My office days these days are 13hrs long with the commute, my WFH days are 8. My employer gets exactly the same time, I just waste less in the car.

Yes what you said. I feel your pain. Mines been here since covid day #1..

@revealmyjackpot I do know what you mean though about being at home with pre schoolers. I didn't have the luxury with my 3rd son as was working full time but with my older 2 from 1st marriage I only worked P/T and used to love having their little friends round and the mum for play dates and coffee on days I was at home. This kind of thing isn't really doable if you've got someone else there working , unless they've got a garden office or something like that

Exactly. This are some pretty fucking weird relationships on here. Where they prefer and LOVE to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with their husband/partner. 'Oh, but we can get to shag at lunchtime.' Yeah... AND??? So fucking what? 😆 What a bunch of weirdos. What's the big deal about being able to shag at lunchtime? Me and DH can shag ANY time of day or night. How tragic that some can only shag at lunchtime..

This 'I obviously love my husband more than you love YOURS, because I love spending 168 hours a week with him' attitude with some people is laughable, childish and pathetic. I can't think of anything worse than spending all your time with the same person. No time with friends, No time with extended family. No time with individual hobbies or time with associates or acquaintances or work colleagues.. or on your OWN... Just glued to your husband/partner. What a really, really sad life and what a pathetic co-dependent and needy existence. I pity these people.

Well that's great you've discussed it and have agreed to have your own alone time, I wish we had thought about that. Speaking for myself I wasn't given that option and even after I have asked for it (unfortunatelyi should have done it earlier), it's been done rather reluctantly and still most of the morning is spent at home even on office days. I used to look forward to seeing my husband, but now because he doesn't do anything or see anyone, it's become very boring ... and he's always around. As I said in an earlier post, I find it extremely suffocating and it will probably end our relationship eventually. As some other posters have said, it's now I notice him sighing, coughing, chewing loudly etc. Last night I was thinking to myself "did he always do that", which I'm guessing he must have but now I notice it and it annoys me. I wish I had realised early on what a negative impact this would have on my relationship.

@SecretsIWouldNeverTell what the fuck?

Where did I say we have to shag at lunchtime?

What a weirdo you are to just make up the oddest shit and get angry about it!

We shag in the morning, noon and night.... not just lunchtime... that's a new WFH benefit that I mr roomed because some crazy on here stated WFH must be shit for your sex life. I just responded that I liked lunchtime sex! But no of course I mustn't put a positive on WFH because some of you don't like it. That's fine, but fucking hell, done of see the benefits.

Is that ok?

I won't be depressed and put out when my DH retires, I don't have the home as my domain only, I've got my own stuff going on ad well.

@Fourwallsclosingin sorry your DH is a bore..... mines not.

You married a shit, nothing to do with WFH!

I have found that some people are so so anxious about WFH being taken away from them that they refuse to acknowledge any possible downsides to it, even to the extent that they’ll question other people’s marriages if WFH doesn’t work for them as a couple.