Do you think that women are really cruel?

[Mooshamoo]

I just think that every stage of my life has been destroyed by women.

As a child, it was the adult women that were around me that were the cruellest.

School, the girls were so cruel. I got on with the boys.
college, the same
work, the same.

I just started a new job (remote)and we have been in training for two months. As there is a lot of training.

The way the job works is that we have four managers while we are training. They all do shifts as managers with us. Then when we complete training , we are assigned one full time managers.

During the training, the two female managers only messaged me and called me to tell me what I was doing wrong. They kept telling me I was doing things wrong. They were nasty and cruel to me. The two male managers were different, they were really supportive of me, as I had just started in the job. They said to ask them any questions etc.

When I finished training, I prayed that I would get one of the male managers, which I did. He is very nice and supportive.

Now, a month into the job, we have been told that we will all be assigned a quality coach. Which will be one of three people. The quality coaches are two men and a woman. I've dealt with the two men before and they are lovely, supportive and kind. The woman is a bully and just enjoys having power over people.

Again I prayed to get one of the men, but I got the woman this time. She has been making my life a misery. She is supposed to be supportive and helpful to me, but she has been really abusive to me and she is awful. She enjoys knocking people down. One of my. Other team mates also has her, and also says that she is abusing her really badly. Like as quality coach her job is meant to be supporting and helping you. But she just tells you that you are shit and useless.

My other team mates that have the male quality coaches, say that they are so kind and supportive to them , and are really helpful.

I just wonder, what is this? Why do women always seem to enjoy knocking people down and being cruel?

Yes it is. Someone else agreed with me that it was.

Telling me to see a mental health professional on this thread is useful in one way. It is what I would really describe as what female cruelty is.

I know some of the women on here who are saying that I need to seek mental health help, are saying it as a way to insult me and be nasty to me. I know that.

However if I say: "you are saying that to insult me".

They will say "oh so you're insulting other people that use mental health services then are you".

So they start the insult, and then blame me.

You know what I mean. Thats what I've seen in the females that do this before .it's psychological tactics to wear you down

10+ women came on here and said that I had mental health issues.

To be fair, you came on here & said that 4 million women have cruelty issues, so .... if you're still not seeing what the common denomiator is, maybe some professional help to untangle any tendency to black & white thinking & external blame-shifting would be beneficial. CBT can be great for that.

PS needing support for mental health isn't a crime, so talking about it - even recommending it - isn't an act of cruelty.

NAWALT

*I know some of the women on here who are saying that I need to seek mental health help, are saying it as a way to insult me and be nasty to me. I know that.

However if I say: "you are saying that to insult me".

They will say "oh so you're insulting other people that use mental health services then are you".

So they start the insult, and then blame me.*

You don't get it do you, OP? If you see needing mental health help as an insult, you are insulting all the people who need it.

I had a female manager once who firmly believed that all women were gossips, spiteful, the cause of all the team’s issues (I was deputy manager so she’d disclose these thoughts). It was bizarre as men caused her quite a few issues too, certainly in the time I was there, which she had to manage. But whenever something happened with one of the men it would get resolved and be attributed to characteristics of that particular man. In contrary, when something happened with a woman it was reflective of all women. As someone above said it’s just confirmation bias. Everyone’s inclined to soak up evidence that supports what they believe and ignore evidence that disputes it. I imagine that with most people who hold beliefs like this they develop because of some ‘legitimate’ life experience (bullying, mean mum) that heavily biases their view of women moving forwards.

I don’t believe all women are cruel - I’m constantly on the receiving end of kindness and support from the women in my life. But I’m sorry that your experience has been different.

I have recently retired so have a lot of work experience, which is that people can be cruel whatever their gender but most people are kindly and well intentioned whatever their gender.

What were you hoping to gain OP from posting this thread on here?

I'm curious, because you went to the bluntest, least sensitive part of an anonymous internet forum which is populated mostly by women, to complain that you dislike women, because all women except you are awful and cruel.

Did you just want your prejudices confirmed, or...?

I know some of the women on here who are saying that I need to seek mental health help, are saying it as a way to insult me and be nasty to me. I know that

That's the problem OP. You "know" a lot of things that are not true. That's the whole point.

Only a professional doctor can tell someone that they need mental health assistance. It is not up to people on the internet to diagnose people.

Isn't that a little circular? How is anyone going to meet a MH professional if they are paranoid, delusional and don't understand they are unwell. Just recently I've assisted two people to access MH care because they clearly need it. They wouldn't have gone to a HCP without being told by a non-HCP that they need to be seen. You believe the world is a toxic and cruel place full of terrible people. That either means you are unwell, in which case you need to see someone. Or you are trauma impacted, in which case you need to see someone.

When people on here say that anyone needs mental health help, believe me they are not trying to help anyone. They are saying it to call the woman crazy.

No, I believe that at some point almost all of us need MH care, in the same way that almost all of us will need physical health care. It's boring and healthy, not an insult.

Thanks for reading and posting my entire post history. That was extremely immature of you. Laughable really. Imagine having that much time in your hands

Three insults in one paragraph. I suspect, because I see this pattern a lot, that your own trauma is making you think that what OTHER people say is awful but anything YOU say is justified. Because you are the victim in every scenario. But you have repeatedly said nasty things about women in general on here to to specific women as well. More than anyone else has.

Meeting the world kindly is much more likely to make the world be kind back. And yes, please talk to someone.

There is nothing inappropriate about talking about mental health.

Any more than it would be inappropriate to urge somebody to seek medical help for a broken leg, or a heart attack. Or even just an annoying rash.

Pre-pandemic, 1 in 4 people at any time were suffering from poor MH. Nowadays, it;s higher, but bear in mind this isn't the same 1 in every 4 people - it's 25% of us, at ANY time. It is absolutely applicable to ALL of us.
People's MH varies, goes through periods of good & lesser wellbeing. Just like their physical health. No shame in talking about it & no shame - in fact kudos - for seeking professional help with it.

🤣😂😆😂

With respect OP you sound hard work and I’m not being cruel (I’m the nicest person I know 😘)

I've not noticed a gender difference. Cruel is a very loaded word. It implies (to me) some sort of intention to hurt. Do you really believe all these females have gone out of gheir way to be nasty? Could it just be that you've encountered more rejection/negetivity from females because you've relied on and encountered more?

Oh was that the post about all British/ English (can't remember which) being cruel?

I find this thread quite interesting, from a sociological perspective.

Having been through the posting history of quite a few contributors, it seems that the ones saying "Not all women are like that/It's just assholes/you can't generalise/etc" also very regularly generalise that men are dangerous, threatening, abusive etc.

Is "not all women" somehow a different concept to "not all men"?

That's nice. I'm glad she was nice to you.

But some of us aren't OP. I agreed with you a while back that I too, had received some really horrible bullying treatment at the hands of women. Lots of nasty insidious stuff/exclusion/verbal insults/character assisination and the like. Therefore, I don't doubt you've experienced some similar treatment. However, I have learnt in life that we can't change how others act and can on work on ourselves and our reactions. Whether you're giving off a vulnerability due to your childhood trauma and the sharks pounce on it and attack, I don't know. So, it might be useful to seek some help and find ways to develop that resilience and find healthy ways to push back and stand your ground against bullies without automatically dismissing every other person who shares the same genitalia. I feel your pain in your responses here and wish you the best.

Maybe have a quick Google of sexual and violent offending statistics. They will blow your mind!

OP was abused by her mother. I think that explains it all tbh.

They actually won't blow my mind at all - I'm very familiar with them.

Aside from the fact that the vast majority of men aren't abusive, which is what "not all men" refers to, there's the fact that the statements compare only numbers, not severity.

So the people saying that it's impossible to generalise simple cruelty in women are also saying it is possible to generalise abuse in men. Basic logic would suggest that the number of people being cruel is going to be more than the number of people being abusive (being that the latter is actually a subset of the former).

That's why it doesn't make sense, unless you factor in the partisan nature of gender politics - "But my team's perfect!".

I do think it's trauma impact. But Now the OP is trying to elicit the same behaviours over and over from other women. It's really unhealthy.

One could argue that emotional and psychological abuse causes as much long lasting damage as sexual and physical abuse does.

I think studies show that emotional/pathological abuse carries long term negative effects that lasts the whole person's life.

and completely abandoned by her father and his family. Which explains her need to see men as kind (even/espcially?) when they aren't.

You posted asking for opinions and input, some of that input is for you to have counselling etc, that is not a 'cruel' suggestion.

It is clear that you want to be seen as a victim. You come onto a female dominated forum, make a goady post about women being cruel and then reply in a goady way to provoke other MN users. All so you can say to yourself, 'I was right, they are cruel' and you confirm your own bias. To an outsider it is a pattern of behaviour that is easy to see. That is why some have suggested getting professional help, so you yourself can recognise the self sabotaging behaviour you are displaying here.

One could not argue that women you work with not being kind enough to you causes as much long lasting damage as sexual and physical abuse does.
So stop that. It's offensive.

Thank you for the polite and (some of it) kind post.