Do you think that women are really cruel?

[Mooshamoo]

I just think that every stage of my life has been destroyed by women.

As a child, it was the adult women that were around me that were the cruellest.

School, the girls were so cruel. I got on with the boys.
college, the same
work, the same.

I just started a new job (remote)and we have been in training for two months. As there is a lot of training.

The way the job works is that we have four managers while we are training. They all do shifts as managers with us. Then when we complete training , we are assigned one full time managers.

During the training, the two female managers only messaged me and called me to tell me what I was doing wrong. They kept telling me I was doing things wrong. They were nasty and cruel to me. The two male managers were different, they were really supportive of me, as I had just started in the job. They said to ask them any questions etc.

When I finished training, I prayed that I would get one of the male managers, which I did. He is very nice and supportive.

Now, a month into the job, we have been told that we will all be assigned a quality coach. Which will be one of three people. The quality coaches are two men and a woman. I've dealt with the two men before and they are lovely, supportive and kind. The woman is a bully and just enjoys having power over people.

Again I prayed to get one of the men, but I got the woman this time. She has been making my life a misery. She is supposed to be supportive and helpful to me, but she has been really abusive to me and she is awful. She enjoys knocking people down. One of my. Other team mates also has her, and also says that she is abusing her really badly. Like as quality coach her job is meant to be supporting and helping you. But she just tells you that you are shit and useless.

My other team mates that have the male quality coaches, say that they are so kind and supportive to them , and are really helpful.

I just wonder, what is this? Why do women always seem to enjoy knocking people down and being cruel?

@Mooshamoo

That was so predictable and has already been said about ten times on here. If you want to say something, at least say something original

After reading the above from you...Yep. It's very definitely you 🤣

So true. It sounds like the OP has a truckload of internalised misogyny and that's really sad. Maybe try forgetting what genitalia someone has when you're relating to them and you'll get further in life.

@Mooshamoo no, not only a doctor can recommend mental health assistance. A good friend, a family member or a random stranger seeing consistent, troubling behaviour (others have referred specifically to your posting history) can recommend seeking help. It's not giving a diagnosis, it's trying to point someone in the right direction towards improving your life and mental health. Or you could just carry on as you are, and nothing in your life will change.

OP you have gone to a female forum to say that woman are cruel. I assume you are a woman yourself? Do you also class yourself as cruel? If not then you know that not all women are cruel- or is it that you think you are the only one who is not?

Perhaps a better way of phrasing it is ‘are most people who are cruel female?’ In the same way that most (but not all) known paedophiles are male. In my experience it’s not true but it’s a less inflammatory way of asking.

Why are you in denial? I guess that's one symptom actually.

A great saying is you cannot help whom doesn't want to be helped.

This is very true .

Agree. I recoginise your screename, OP. Didn't need to search your posting history.

As PP said, often, when women aren't effusive and kind in a way we're socialised to be, it's perceived as being cruel. Being blunt doesn't equal cruelty.

YANBU, OP; we're all absolutely horrible.
Especially me.
And her, over there. With the hair and the attitude.

I've always found that cruelty and bullying are equally handed out by both sexes.

Only a professional doctor can tell someone that they need mental health assistance

Come on, you know that's not true.

You calling women in need of mental health support "crazy" is quite mean, isn't it? Cruel, you would say. Why are you being cruel to other women?

Sex abuse is cruel. Did that come from a woman?

Oh my god. The extreme gaslighting on here.

No. People who have mental health issues are certainly not crazy.

But when ten women on a thread tell one woman that she has mental health issues and needs to seek professional help, believe me they are not doing it out of kindness. They are doing it to call the other woman insane/imbalanced/unstable.

If you are not a doctor/ a mental health professional, you have no right to say it to anyone.

It is the way they say it. It is extremely severe bullying .

I've seen it happen to other women on mumsnet.

Well obviously I work with unwell people already which compounds the issue. I'm saying I work with sometimes violent people. I've never been seriously assaulted by a male patient it's easier to talk them down. A woman actually bit me and I had to go to A&E there's more incidents. When I worked in a mixed sex rehabilitation I was worried it would be chaotic like female only wards it wasn't it was perfect . It seemed to balance everything out.

Hi MsDeb, I think this is cry for help to be honest. Being in denial but still come on here and post a lot of really extreme and emotive posts is a way of asking for help.

Does OP know the NHS offer free therapists? You should call your GP and some of the free helplines.

You are being defensive. Perhaps some of them are slightly strong worded.

Now knowing a bit more about your background I feel very sorry.

But I do think you need help. People on here cannot help, and no about to validate these rather extreme views. It will only make you feel worse OP.

For a women to succeed in a big company she has to be better than the men there. So yes women at work do have to be more competitive with their peers to prove their worth if they want to move up the ranks. Men get there by being men and being friends with the men and men men men basically.

A very sadly huge amount of men at work who are nice or kind to you, wouldn’t give you a second glance to even say hello to in the street if you stopped working in the same company. They use women for their own gains still again, they will flirt with you, so you think they are great and even you then sing their praises you possibly work harder too. Don’t want to let Mr tommas down. But his eying you up like a piece of meat either sexually or for his own work gain too.

Women are just blunt about what they want require and need and how your failing, she can’t flirt with you to get that same advantage unless your both bi/lesbians that isn’t going to work.

I strongly disagree.

If someone had a broken arm you'd tell them to go to A and E, no, they're not a doctor but it's simple advice.

Seeking help for past childhood experiences that are negatively affecting a person is nothing to be ashamed of.

It's not thinking someone is crazy, it's genuine empathy. Im sorry you see MH support in such a negative light.

Your definition of cruel is quite a stretch. “Not pandering to you” isn’t what being cruel is.

Disagreeing isn’t cruel. Criticising your work isn’t cruel. Telling you your black and white thinking is unhealthy isn’t cruel. Even not wanting to be your workmate isn’t cruel.

You’re actively looking to take offence on this thread, which gives the casual reader the impression you do this in other areas of your life as well.

Women aren’t generally cruel. There are the odd few arseholes, sure, but as a cohort we aren’t cruel. I think you’re seeing exactly what you expect to see rather than what is there.

That sort of thinking hurts only you, OP. Changing your mindset would change your experience of other people.

Yes I think there is a particular psychological cruelty in women. Where they like to knock other women down.

You're being illogical.

Men are just as likely to knock other men down.
In fact, often more likely. It's all that testosterone. You know testosterone's not 'the sex hormone' that most people think it is, right?
It's actually 'the status & competition' hormone.

But never mind the science.
Just look at the world around you, & its messages. See any action film - they are all predicated on The Hero pitted against ... other men. See also war, politics, big business ... all men, competing with each other & vying for advantage at the other's expense.

OP I think you sound paranoid and you should get these feelings sorted out or you're going to spend your life being miserable

OP why would you start a thread asking why all women are cruel and straight away accuse posters who point out perhaps how you interact could be a contributing factor, of being cruel?

> aware by your standards I'm being cruel <

I've met lots of women over the years who have been horrible at times but reasons why could be -

By the nature of my social and working life I've interacted with many more women thsn men,

Female relationships can become close and intimate quite quickly meaning if things go a bit wrong things you've shared can make you vulnerable,

To think of a few reasons.

If I then consider the cruel things I've experienced from men (sexually assaulted age 11, again at 16, cat called, groped, graphic details of a sexual activity shared around a pub, photos taken of me by a man's friend during sex with him without my consent or knowledge) these have had far more lasting damage

Oh my god the utter gaslighting. It's shocking.
This is what I would describe as the pinnacle of female cruelty.

I never mentioned mental health issues.

10+ women came on here and said that I had mental health issues.

I said it's offensive to say that to a stranger on the internet that you've never met. And that they are using it in this instance to call me unstable.and to knock me down

Someone then says "so you are calling people with mental health issues crazy"?

So you see You can't win. Even though I know they intended to call me crazy, if I call them out on it, one of them will say "so you're calling people with mental health issues crazy".

That is female cruelty right there. You just can't win

Another reason your noticing the female cruelty which other posters have touched on -

We still live in a patriarchy and many women are fighting for the scraps which can result in trampling over others

ah thank you, I’m glad the post came across how I intended to

OP I don't think anyone is telling you that you definitely have mental health issues. As you say, only a mental health professional can tell you that. But if you won't talk to a mental health professional how will you know? People are just saying that it might be worth having that conversation.

Btw, there is no shame in seeking mental health support. I have mental health issues. Many people do. To be honest, for you to call people like me crazy/insane/imbalanced/unstable (all descriptions you have used) is in itself pretty cruel...