Do you think that women are really cruel?

[Mooshamoo]

I just think that every stage of my life has been destroyed by women.

As a child, it was the adult women that were around me that were the cruellest.

School, the girls were so cruel. I got on with the boys.
college, the same
work, the same.

I just started a new job (remote)and we have been in training for two months. As there is a lot of training.

The way the job works is that we have four managers while we are training. They all do shifts as managers with us. Then when we complete training , we are assigned one full time managers.

During the training, the two female managers only messaged me and called me to tell me what I was doing wrong. They kept telling me I was doing things wrong. They were nasty and cruel to me. The two male managers were different, they were really supportive of me, as I had just started in the job. They said to ask them any questions etc.

When I finished training, I prayed that I would get one of the male managers, which I did. He is very nice and supportive.

Now, a month into the job, we have been told that we will all be assigned a quality coach. Which will be one of three people. The quality coaches are two men and a woman. I've dealt with the two men before and they are lovely, supportive and kind. The woman is a bully and just enjoys having power over people.

Again I prayed to get one of the men, but I got the woman this time. She has been making my life a misery. She is supposed to be supportive and helpful to me, but she has been really abusive to me and she is awful. She enjoys knocking people down. One of my. Other team mates also has her, and also says that she is abusing her really badly. Like as quality coach her job is meant to be supporting and helping you. But she just tells you that you are shit and useless.

My other team mates that have the male quality coaches, say that they are so kind and supportive to them , and are really helpful.

I just wonder, what is this? Why do women always seem to enjoy knocking people down and being cruel?

That's not women, that's just cruelty in general and isn't linked to a particular gender.

I agree with other poster who say that if you have an issue with pretty well every woman you meet then it is probably an issue with you and not with them.
it probably has something to do with the way you relate to them, both in your head and face to face.
I find men easier company than women but I know loads of lovely women. I have know really horrible men and really horrible women.

Oh right. I didn't get that from this:

Why do women always seem to enjoy knocking people down and being cruel?

That's a bit of a shame you never experienced mother love.

I am sorry but I have to agree with pp. As harsh as they may have sounded, they are not wrong.
I knew straight away without looking at username which other posts OP wrote. I don't think anyone else is using "cruel" as often here and in so many situations they encountered

With the greatest respect, have you tried seeking support on a male oriented website? Perhaps they'll be kinder and more supportive? Seems odd to ask a website almost entirely populated by the people you think are cruel.

OP just want to start a controversial fight on here maybe. Anything you say is going to labelled as 'cruel' eye roll You cannot win argument with someone who refuse to look at data / facts. The fact is majority of violent crimes is committed by MEN! Isn't that cruel?!

Could you give some examples of what you perceive to be cruelty?

it’s pretty unusual to meet anyone who is cruel in my opinion.

I do "know" you. You have posted a lot about all of the people in your life who you allege have been awful to you, which is everyone.
Iam being kind to you when I say this is not the place for the support you desperately need. Please see a mental health professional.

I don't think op is after bunfight tbh.

I find it's always good to give out what you want to receive in return. In the workplace I try to forge female relationships, seek female support, compliment when it's due. I could still stop for a chat with all my previous female managers and have formed really good friendships with women through work and through hobbies.

The only time I've found other women in the workplace to be cruel is when I, myself, was really struggling with my mental health. At the time I was furious but looking back I can see that I was probably coming across as very difficult to get along with.

Based on your previous posts I think it's likely you could benefit from some therapy - not being cruel, I've been there!

I haven’t encountered this. I have from men, but not from women.

I think it’s well known that women in certain work places need to behave in a certain way in order to be taken seriously, but at the same time this behaviour leads to them being perceived very differently to men displaying the same behaviour.

And sorry, I agree with others that you may be the problem - I mean it kindly, I’ve been there myself - work on yourself and things will probably improve.

In the meantime if you don’t get on with you quality coach ask to change to a different one, don’t just put up with it.

I don't do this 'all me/women' I take each person as I find them, I also think if you genuinely think this that yes you could benefit for seeking professional assistance

It will be an unpopular opinion on a (largejy) female forum, but yes, I agree with you. I've experienced awful work based bullying and viciousness at the hands of women, never from a man. Maybe you do need psychological support ( I don't know , I haven't seen your other posts), but if so, I would hazard a guess that the root of it lies in your relationship with your mother or another female caregiver. We need to get over this fabrication that all females are wonderful, empathetic brings - because frankly, they're not.

1. There are far fewer female managers than male & they’re most often promoted or recruited by men by showing characteristics that men want to see in a male manager. But then they are often judged much more harshly than male managers - eg senior execs blaming male led team failures on team / process while blaming female led teams on ‘leadership’ failures.
2. When female led teams do well it’s often put down to processes / team accomplishments rather than leadership quality. Successful male led teams are nearly always put down to great leadershop
3. Point 1 often leads to people judging poor female managers as representive of all female managers because, in reality, good female management is ignored when it goes well.
4. White women are often conditioned by society that their inability to build relationships is due to a failure on the part of the person they’re building a relationship with (rather than a failure within themselves). Lets make it clear - if you can’t build workable relationships with women it’s because of you. You need to fix yourself. It’s not the fault of women.

I agree with this. Look up Mother wound.

I agree that some women are cruel to other women. But I have some brilliant, supportive friendships with women. Deeper than those I have with men.

You’re being irrational. I know lots of lovely women and men, I also know horrible women and men. It’s not a gender thing, it’s a human thing, we’re all different so not sure why you are trying to pin it on females

Sorry but it seems like you perhaps have an issue with women. Starting a thread like this on a predominately female forum, is pretty foolish.

I suggest toughening up a little. Take onboard the criticism and improve at your job.

As I said before, I don't know you. I think it's really really weird that you remember my name. I don't know you from Adam. I don't remember your name from anywhere. So the way you are talking to me is so weird.

I suppose if I weigh things up there are some women who I’ve not gone on with, most have been lovely but some have been passive aggressive. That’s probably the worse of it.

When I weigh that against being raped, strangled, had death threats and abused by men I just don’t see the ‘particular cruelty’ existing in the same stratosphere as the ‘particular cruelty’ of men.

Despite the above, I don’t need to feel the need to categorise all/ the majority as being particularly cruel because that would be ridiculous.

I'm assuming you get lovely, flattering responses from these kind, wonderful men you so often pray for. When you tell them how much lovelier they are than all the cruel women, do they get even more lovely and kind.

I'm a woman and I'd spot you a mile away on the workplace. Stop projecting your own issues onto women at work, and stop demeaning yourself by stroking every man's ego. Believe me, they won't be saying lovely and kind things behind your back.

I'm sorry you've been hurt like you have.
There are many, many factors that make up someone's personality however and simply being a woman doesn't automatically make someone cruel, no.
There's hope for us yet, I swear

But if I go to write a comment on a thread, I would never check the ops history. What has it got to do with anything?

It's so weird. Each new thread is a new thread. People ask different questions and want to talk about different things.

On other forums, people don't do this

I can see why people feel they have to name change.

For sure there are some vain sociopathic women out there, and I have come across a few. But they are relatively rare compared to number of selfish aggressive arsehole men I have had the misfortune to meet. In fact, my life has been peppered with the most extraordinarily positive and supportive and wonderful women and I cannot imagine it without them. OP I think perhaps some therapy might be helpful for you to get the bottom of this psychological wound you are carrying.

Bent advised to seek mental health support is not cruel. If you had a physical ailment being advised to go to a GP would be helpful, mental health is just as important.

Even if you don't see issues, having a professional to talk to could greatly benefit you. Look after yourself.