Do you think that women are really cruel?

[Mooshamoo]

I just think that every stage of my life has been destroyed by women.

As a child, it was the adult women that were around me that were the cruellest.

School, the girls were so cruel. I got on with the boys.
college, the same
work, the same.

I just started a new job (remote)and we have been in training for two months. As there is a lot of training.

The way the job works is that we have four managers while we are training. They all do shifts as managers with us. Then when we complete training , we are assigned one full time managers.

During the training, the two female managers only messaged me and called me to tell me what I was doing wrong. They kept telling me I was doing things wrong. They were nasty and cruel to me. The two male managers were different, they were really supportive of me, as I had just started in the job. They said to ask them any questions etc.

When I finished training, I prayed that I would get one of the male managers, which I did. He is very nice and supportive.

Now, a month into the job, we have been told that we will all be assigned a quality coach. Which will be one of three people. The quality coaches are two men and a woman. I've dealt with the two men before and they are lovely, supportive and kind. The woman is a bully and just enjoys having power over people.

Again I prayed to get one of the men, but I got the woman this time. She has been making my life a misery. She is supposed to be supportive and helpful to me, but she has been really abusive to me and she is awful. She enjoys knocking people down. One of my. Other team mates also has her, and also says that she is abusing her really badly. Like as quality coach her job is meant to be supporting and helping you. But she just tells you that you are shit and useless.

My other team mates that have the male quality coaches, say that they are so kind and supportive to them , and are really helpful.

I just wonder, what is this? Why do women always seem to enjoy knocking people down and being cruel?

One could argue that. But looking around the world at Sudan, Ukraine, literally everywhere at some point, male violence causes more damage.

Even in a nice Western, peaceful democracy women are dying at 2 a week (actually I think it's three now) at the hands of men who know them and that's the tip of the iceberg.

I think studies show that emotional/pathological abuse carries long term negative effects that lasts the whole person's life.

This is why people are empathising with you and your experiences. People are saying that talking to someone could really help with what you've been through. Please stop seeing insults when people have sympathy.

I think studies show that emotional/pathological abuse carries long term negative effects that lasts the whole person's life.

I occurs to me that you know this on a population level, but can't apply that to people's suggestion to get help for yourself.

Was just about to say this 😂 as if it’s hard to figure out that women are much much more likely to be victims of male violence than anyone is likely to be a victim of female violence.

It has the whiff of ‘ALL lives matter.’ It’s pretty obvious that an oppressed group has more reason to be concerned about the oppressing group than the other way around.

What a sexist, misogynistic load of bullshit. OP, I bet you’re one of the first to cry Not All Men, try applying the same logic to women.

I'm not talking about women at work not being kind to me. I'm not always talking about myself.

I was thinking about a study that I read about children who suffered psychological abuse. It affected them for their whole lives and it badly impacted many areas of their lives. Sexual abuse is of course more harmful, but psychological abuse is also abuse, and it has many negative effects on people.

Op, if you go around thinking all women are cunts, don’t be surprised when they don’t like you very much.

I don't think all women are cunts.

You sure sound like you do. Maybe the problem is you, not everyone else?

My dad sexually abused me from about 3 years old, I’ve had multiple bad interactions with men since, but I don’t think that makes all men cruel. They’re individuals, and so are women.

I was thinking about a study that I read about children who suffered psychological abuse. It affected them for their whole lives and it badly impacted many areas of their lives. Sexual abuse is of course more harmful, but psychological abuse is also abuse, and it has many negative effects on people.

But men are also psychologically abusive, not just women, you know that right? And not all women, just a tiny tiny percentage of them.

But sexual & physical abuse very rarely occurs without accompanying emotional/pathological abuse.
And even when it does, it usually carries long term negative effects that also last the person's whole life.

You leave my hair out of this! My attitude is fair game though.

So much hyperbole, OP. All the 'severe extreme' stuff. It's just coming across as OTT, dramatic and goady.
(The statement above was not cruel)

If you think suggesting you seek counselling is cruel, you have a deeply skewed understanding of mental health issues.

You are posting aggressively and offensively to people who disagree with you and are positioning yourself as a victim. That so many posters can see what an unhealthy mindset that is doesn't mean they are being unkind or calling you crazy. It means they can see you need some support to have a healthier and better life. And they suggest you ask for that support.

There is no shame in needing or seeking counselling or therapy. I've had years of it myself and it has dramatically improved my life. I was one of those suggesting you get counselling because I know how much it can help.

Your problem is you, OP. That's hard to hear but the good news is you have the power to improve your situation.

If you were right and so many women are cruel, that would be an unfixable problem. But it's either your mindset or trauma informing your experience, and help is available for both.

I wish you could see that, and I wish you well. But I doubt you'll listen.

Thanks for the discussion guys.

I didn't mean to say that all women are cruel.

More so that I've noticed particular traits of cruelty in women. That are particular to women. That I have seen in schools/colleges/workplaces.

Of course there are nice and kind women too

I was thinking about a study that I read about children who suffered psychological abuse. It affected them for their whole lives and it badly impacted many areas of their lives. Sexual abuse is of course more harmful, but psychological abuse is also abuse, and it has many negative effects on people

You do realise you were one of those children OP? You must realise that that abuse you suffered is impacting the way you're viewing relationships with pretty much everyone in your life. This is why some posters have told you you need some help with your mental health.

More so that I've noticed particular traits of cruelty in women. That are particular to women

There aren't. Women are just judged more harshly than men are for the exact same things.

Suggesting to someone that they seek therapy on an online forum is not helpful in any way shape or form.

First of all: All of us are aware of the mental health supports out there. I am well aware of the telephone supports, the online supports, the counsellors, the therapists that are out there.

They have been there for years.

If I wanted to do it I would do it by my own choice.

A stranger on the internet telling me to do it, is not going to make me do it.

The same way if I said to someone else on the internet - "you should get therapy. "

It's not going to make her get therapy is it?

I agree op

Suggesting to someone that they seek therapy on an online forum is not helpful in any way shape or form

Of course it is. Just because you have no intention of doing it does not mean its not helpful advice.

Every post you make confirms just how much you need to speak to a professional.

I think Ive figured out the problem OP.

Its not that people are cruel to you... Its that you perceive cruelty in ANY criticism and opinion that isnt your own.

And no, this is not being cruel.

Like a PP said, "if you meet an asshole, it is likely that person is an asshole, but if everyone you meet is an asshole, you might be the asshole".

Im not saying you are an asshole, exactly. Im saying you might be too sensitive for your own good.

In my experience, women are not cruel. I have met a couple of HORRIBLE women, just like I have met a couple of horrible men, but by and large, no, there is no particular cruelty inherent to women. Most raise themselves up and are supportive of other women.

If this is not your experience, you need to take a good hard look at yourself.

Thank you for saying that politely.

I don't know why, but that post kind of got something through to me. Maybe I am a bit defensive about getting mental health help.

It made me think of the scene in Good will hunting.

Have you seen that movie. Where robin Williams the therapist, is talking to Matt Damon (who had been an abused chid).

Robin williams is saying that Matt needs help. Matt Damon is saying he is fine and is telling robin Williams to fuck off .

Robin Williams keeps saying to Matt Damon that it is not his fault that he was abused as a child.

And Matt Damon eventually breaks down and cries.

*Xyxygy
*
I was speaking from life experience and yes, when I've had a negative interaction it's often involved asssult, abuse or sexual humiliation.

Way more damaging. And definitely cruel

I came here to say exactly what @FrenchFancie has said. But your somewhat nasty response to her words of wisdom tells me that the reason people are cruel to you is because of you.

She (Frenchfancie) was not cruel. She is correct. You are the reason people are nasty to you. I guess you’ll think I’m just being cruel op, but you need to have an attitude adjustment.

But I also don't think that therapy is any good.

Therapists are just human beings like ourselves.

I went to two therapists when I was younger. One man, one woman.

The first man. I told him my life story . And he sighed and said "that is going to be a lot of work for me". He wasn't kind so I didn't go back.

The second therapist I went to. I told her my life story. She burst into tears. And cried for about ten minutes. I ended up comforting her.