Do you think that women are really cruel?

[Mooshamoo]

I just think that every stage of my life has been destroyed by women.

As a child, it was the adult women that were around me that were the cruellest.

School, the girls were so cruel. I got on with the boys.
college, the same
work, the same.

I just started a new job (remote)and we have been in training for two months. As there is a lot of training.

The way the job works is that we have four managers while we are training. They all do shifts as managers with us. Then when we complete training , we are assigned one full time managers.

During the training, the two female managers only messaged me and called me to tell me what I was doing wrong. They kept telling me I was doing things wrong. They were nasty and cruel to me. The two male managers were different, they were really supportive of me, as I had just started in the job. They said to ask them any questions etc.

When I finished training, I prayed that I would get one of the male managers, which I did. He is very nice and supportive.

Now, a month into the job, we have been told that we will all be assigned a quality coach. Which will be one of three people. The quality coaches are two men and a woman. I've dealt with the two men before and they are lovely, supportive and kind. The woman is a bully and just enjoys having power over people.

Again I prayed to get one of the men, but I got the woman this time. She has been making my life a misery. She is supposed to be supportive and helpful to me, but she has been really abusive to me and she is awful. She enjoys knocking people down. One of my. Other team mates also has her, and also says that she is abusing her really badly. Like as quality coach her job is meant to be supporting and helping you. But she just tells you that you are shit and useless.

My other team mates that have the male quality coaches, say that they are so kind and supportive to them , and are really helpful.

I just wonder, what is this? Why do women always seem to enjoy knocking people down and being cruel?

Some women, some men. I think you've just been very unlucky if you've only ever encountered cruel women.

So do men!

A lot of women are trapped in abusive relationships because men are emotionally manipulating them! Why is this a female only trait?

We can recognise and feel empathy towards you if you had a very bad experiences with all the female figures in your life. But irrationally painting women in general who are innately more cruel is cruel in itself!

She said, and I quote

"I'm a woman and I'd spot you a mile away on the workplace. Stop projecting your own issues onto women at work"

You think thats not cruel?

No, it's not cruel.

Blunt, perhaps. Rude? Maybe.

But not cruel.

Sorry to hear that women have tormented you. I send you a hug

If you work in the line of business that I think you do - quality coaches etc - then they won't be being cruel, but will have KPIs to meet. It's a tough business. It does sound a little like you are not taking on board the feedback you are being given. Maybe the job is one you are not best suited for.

Nope, YABU. Boys and men are just as capable of cruelty.

No, it isn't. It's blunt. Matter of fact. Also, I would say, accurate. Definitely in any way true.

OP, it's not everyone else. It's you.

"definitely not in anyway cruel" that should have read.

I used to think this but as I aged (well, I'm only 25) I realised it was me that was the problem. I was so uptight and on edge that people would be mean to me because of a select few experiences, that I assumed everyone was the same. Once I softened and started to let women in, understanding their struggles too, I realised I'd had a squewed (spelling?) view.

Some women are cruel. Some men are cruel. Some people are cruel.

I've come across some right twats in my career. Equal male and female.

Or, heres a possibility, do you constantly play the victim and if anyone dares say something you dont like, they must instantly be picking on you?

"I'm a woman and I'd spot you a mile away on the workplace. Stop projecting your own issues onto women at work"

I don't see this as cruel, just to the point. It's clear from your posts you have issues with women, and maybe haven't had the best interactions in the past.

But if you immediately have preconceptions of women being 'cruel' then you'll be looking for behaviour that isn't there.

So yes, there is a degree of projecting your own issues.

Seek mental health advice, it could really help with dealing with past experiences to make your future life happier.

No, but you are convincing more that you really do have issues you are best getting help for

Sounds like my SIL

I haven’t searched for any other posts, but I remember this poster for her name and posting style, and agree that she needs in-depth help.

I agree. I've never found women, especially in the workplace, anything but supportive and encouraging. I don't recognise the OP's situation at all

Yes I think there is a particular psychological cruelty in women. Where they like to knock other women down.

If you are a woman's there is an irony in starting a thread about this which is, in itself, knocking women down.

Most of the women I know are wonderful and I adore them

I’ve never had any significant woman in my life be “cruel”. I’ve had mostly female bosses and workmates as I’m in a female dominated industry. There have been people I’ve gelled with more than others but only 2 in my entire career that have been deliberately awful. I wouldn’t say “cruel” though. Awkward, unhelpful, unfriendly, deceitful, bitchy, snarky, snide, but not cruel. Incidentally one of these women would probably describe the female boss and the rest of us as cruel because she had a massive victim complex and everything that happens in her life from the size of her feet to her car to her Christmas present to/from her sister to her leave request to her having to do basic tasks at work, to the weather is a huge ordeal.
All of my friends are women and non are cruel. I went to a girls school and there were a couple of arseholes big nobody cruel. So no, I don’t think women are cruel. If they were crueller then men then you would expect higher female than male conviction rates for “cruel” crimes.

I mean you’d probably be better off on Dadsnet, wouldn’t you? Mumsnet is used in the majority by women who you think are cruel.

What to do is, do some research into infamous criminals. Which sex is the one overwhelmingly more likely to torture, murder, rape? Which is more likely to spearhead genocides and violent attacks? Is it women?

The fact is that this is a You problem. And the only way to solve it is to look inside yourself.

That’s not to say no woman has ever been cruel or unkind or rude, by the way. But to say ‘women are cruel, I’ve always got on with men’ makes you sound a bit daft and like it’s your own personal issue.

I disagree. That's victim blaming. It is not always the victim's fault that other women are cruel to her.

I know one really lovely woman. She is stunningly beautiful. She is really unusually good looking. She could be a model. She is a nice person too. She gets bullied all the time by other women.

Of any woman that I know, she gets bullied the most. And she is really lovely.

It is because of pure jealousy from other women. Because she is so pretty.

What do you want from this thread OP?

Given that any post agreeing with you you see as validating your feelings and any post disagreeing with you you see as proof you are right women are cruel then what exactly is the point of your post?