Do you think that women are really cruel?

[Mooshamoo]

I just think that every stage of my life has been destroyed by women.

As a child, it was the adult women that were around me that were the cruellest.

School, the girls were so cruel. I got on with the boys.
college, the same
work, the same.

I just started a new job (remote)and we have been in training for two months. As there is a lot of training.

The way the job works is that we have four managers while we are training. They all do shifts as managers with us. Then when we complete training , we are assigned one full time managers.

During the training, the two female managers only messaged me and called me to tell me what I was doing wrong. They kept telling me I was doing things wrong. They were nasty and cruel to me. The two male managers were different, they were really supportive of me, as I had just started in the job. They said to ask them any questions etc.

When I finished training, I prayed that I would get one of the male managers, which I did. He is very nice and supportive.

Now, a month into the job, we have been told that we will all be assigned a quality coach. Which will be one of three people. The quality coaches are two men and a woman. I've dealt with the two men before and they are lovely, supportive and kind. The woman is a bully and just enjoys having power over people.

Again I prayed to get one of the men, but I got the woman this time. She has been making my life a misery. She is supposed to be supportive and helpful to me, but she has been really abusive to me and she is awful. She enjoys knocking people down. One of my. Other team mates also has her, and also says that she is abusing her really badly. Like as quality coach her job is meant to be supporting and helping you. But she just tells you that you are shit and useless.

My other team mates that have the male quality coaches, say that they are so kind and supportive to them , and are really helpful.

I just wonder, what is this? Why do women always seem to enjoy knocking people down and being cruel?

I'd say thats about the tenth woman on this thread that has said I need mental health help. Outrageous

That is another very particular form of female bullying.

Women diminish other women by calling other women crazy and mentally ill.

Exactly this. In my job, the men are excessively nice to me. It's a customer facing role so the customers are too. They trip over themselves to help me.

I also happen to be mid 20's (the only female member of staff under 50) and considered attractive, in their words. I know their niceness towards me is likely a function of what I can provide them - an ego boost, a chat, a flirt. I know this because plenty have tried it on with me - some single, most married/taken. Is this real 'niceness'? Is it genuine? No. I don't think much of these men because I don't really see this niceness extended to my colleagues they aren't 'attracted to'.

But I wouldn't extend this view to all the men in the universe

I agree. Women can be cruel.

But the likely reason for that is very obvious. Female bullies (at school, at work) are more likely to target other women. Male bullies are more likely to target other men in the workplace or at school. So you will have seen more female bullying because you are female. If you were a young man you’d probably have many stories of men bullying or being bullied at school!

And of course there are many emotionally abusive men. Severely emotionally abusive. How many men do you know who have fled abusive women? I’m sure it’s not nearly so many as the opposite way around.

Not to be ‘cruel,’ but please don’t help them. You don’t need to prop up the patriarchy with this ‘women are bitches, men are roughy tough, they just have a fight then make up, and don’t do that super nasty cruel bullying like those nasty bitch women.’ Why would you, as a woman, help further these stereotypes that harm YOU?

Thank you for seeing that some of the responses on here are awful and cruel.

So I don't get gaslighted and told I'm deluded and too sensitive and it's my fault for thinking they are cruel. And the problem is me.

The cruelty is out in full force on Mumsnet. I don't know why I even argue with these women. I know these women genuinely really enjoy being cruel to others.

The way you are speaking to the other posters who have not been at all cruel tells me that you are the issue. You're quite rude. Agree with the " if you think someone is off then they probably are, if you think everyone is off, then it's likely you.

From my experience in therapy I’d say your experiences as a child are shaping your view on life and your world. I always gravitated to boys/men, now I know it’s because I felt safer. My dad and grandad were very loving and calm.
I now how amazing relationships with woman, friends colleagues ect and most recently the woman at DS preschool have been brilliant. I have encountered women that you’ve described that can be cruel but they can only be cruel if you let them they … can smell the vulnerability! I hope you’re seeking help if you had bad experiences as child these may need looking at with a professional to help you deal in these situations. I have a great CBT therapist. Challenge these women in calm controlled manor if you feel they are out of line. don’t put up with it! You’ve got this, Good luck OP

I'd save your time and energy guys....

That was so predictable and has already been said about ten times on here. If you want to say something, at least say something original .

So you're telling every other person what to do ? Thats bossy of you. Do you have ego issues?

It is not bullying. Tell someone that they need mental health assistance, when they do, is not bullying. You are not being diminished by getting sensible advice.

You cannot speak about bullying re others, because you have no ability to know when it is happening. Your perception is so skewed that you have no basis for judgement.

OP, you hate everyone. From other posts you have made, you hate and blame all English people, all Irish people, your entire family and extended family, every workplace you have ever had, all middle class people. You hate Ireland, England, all women, most men, and particularly Queen Camilla!

Interesting that you see a normal, reasonable suggestion as "bossy".

Know a few like this 🤮

I work within MH and I prefer working in male wards. Males generally have one large serious incident rarely women it's small scale repeated incidents all day. Male wards the alarm goes off once in a blue moon on female its all day. They collude to have incidents at the same time, arrange to beat another patient up. The most serious assaults I've had at work have been by females. I have started to refuse to work in female only wards it's too stressful.

I have no idea why it's this way but all female environments bring out the worst traits.

@Mooshamoo are you at all willing to seek professional help for your issues? Creating threads seeking validation isn't going to help. Speaking to someone 1-1 who can offer neutral advice could benefit you greatly.

If you aren't willing to help yourself then it's not fair to expect strangers to see your perspective and validate your views.

OP people are saying you need help because forming extreme black and white views are not healthy. And I wasn't about to search for your past threads but now having read them you are going through a clear depressive phase perhaps before turning 40. People here are not trying to disqualify your past experiences and unloving parents. Or females at work are being awful.

It's not right to put other people down because you are feeling down as well.

That's why people here are saying you need help. They are not saying you are crazy. Feeling like there's no point to life and not having close friend to confide to, especially women in general bring about the level of care and feminine empathy that really does help you to heal instead of tearing you down.

Accept a lot of your feelings are your experiences, and not for everyone else, and then find the root issues (usually from upbringing) and try to work on that. Focus on personal growth. Going on here and trying to put women down is not helping.

Incidentally I like working in mixed sex staff teams best of both.

@Mamamess

Really wise advice. A lot of what you said resonated with me. Thanks for sharing your insight. And OP if that makes even the slightest bit of sense to you, think on it

I have no idea why it's this way but all female environments bring out the worst traits.

And yet it’s interesting that it’s been proven that an all female school benefits girls massively, while a mixed school benefits male students more than single sex. Why do you think this is? Do you think it’s because all the awful bitchy nasty evil females give them a bad example to avoid?

Only a professional doctor can tell someone that they need mental health assistance. It is not up to people on the internet to diagnose people.

When people on here say that anyone needs mental health help, believe me they are not trying to help anyone. They are saying it to call the woman crazy.

Thanks for reading and posting my entire post history. That was extremely immature of you. Laughable really. Imagine having that much time in your hands

In my experience?

No. I'm not cruel and no one has ever been cruel to me. But I'm not beautiful so maybe they have no reason.

I don't think it's 'cruel' for posters to point out you have an abnormal fixation on this and recognise you from other posts. I'd like to share this:

cruel

adjective

1. wilfully causing pain or suffering to others, or feeling no concern about it.

Your perception is skewed. Very skewed. If you took a tenth of the advice offered on this thread you might start to feel better about other people.

Have you never come across a male bully?

Are you a doctor? Are you a mental health professional? Then why on earth would say that to anyone. So bizarre. Really utterly weird.

I say this with kindness, OP, but you use inflated /exaggerated terminology in your posts.
Beating a child to death is cruel.
Torturing animals is cruel.
Critiquing someone's work is not.
Having a different opinion is not.
You may just need to develop a thicker skin.

When people on here say that anyone needs mental health help, believe me they are not trying to help anyone. They are saying it to call the woman crazy.

That is really quite offensive, and in your words, cruel.

So anyone who has MH issues is crazy?