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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go for a drink with friends dad

667 replies

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 11:55

Iv been friends with this friend for ever and her dad has always been there for me and has messaged me a few times over the years but it's just been jokey flirty stuff nothing much of anything and he messaged me this morning to go round for a few drinks tonight. I want to go but I don't know how my friend will react.
Yanbu. Do what you want its nobody's business
Yabu. You don't cross that line with a friends dad

OP posts:
difficultdifficultlemondifficult · 28/04/2023 12:27

Sure go ahead. If you want to ruin your friendship.

userxx · 28/04/2023 12:27

The dirty old dog.

mainsfed · 28/04/2023 12:27

What’s with all the DILF threads at the moment. There was another one about a woman shagging her friend’s dad at her friend’s wedding 🤢

NotAnotherBathBomb · 28/04/2023 12:27

This reply has been deleted

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Messyyyyyyyyyu

Here for the deletion message 💅🏽

fruitbrewhaha · 28/04/2023 12:27

No fucking way!

I was going to ask about ages and when you met thinking maybe you were older than your friend, so if you were 50, the dad is 65 and your friend 40, is had said no problem.

But fuck that. He has known you since you were a child. He’s 20 years older than you. He’s helped you out in a fatherly way and you have daddy issues and he is a creep.

readbooksdrinktea · 28/04/2023 12:27

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Bobshhh · 28/04/2023 12:27

Oh you’re the person who slept with a friends ex boyfriend while everyone was in your house at Easter.

yeah no you shouldn’t sleep with your friend’s dad.

SaltedButty · 28/04/2023 12:28

When I say really nice I don't mean in a pervy way I had a bad childhood and he was one of the few adults there for me
Oh I bet he was

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 12:28

What's it like then @Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy?

QuickNameChangeForMeToday · 28/04/2023 12:28

You sound like a pretty shitty friend.

Original poster
Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 12:28

None of you understand at all

OP posts:
Cantmovewontmove · 28/04/2023 12:29

You have asked if yabu and an overwhelming amount of people have jumped on to say yes, yes you are being unreasonable.

As a pp said - there's plenty of cock in the world - don't shaggy your pals da. That's just wrong. And he's a lecherous old fool.

Redebs · 28/04/2023 12:30

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🤣🤣🤣

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 12:30

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 12:28

None of you understand at all

Explain it to us then, please.

OP this isn't healthy behaviour. It sounds like you're quite self-destructive. I haven't opened that other thread so I don't have the background there but why do you want to sleep with men who you know are out of bounds? Is it the thrill?

MrsSlocombesCat · 28/04/2023 12:30

Years ago when my son was 15 he had a friend who had a crush on me. I found it amusing but didn’t think anything of it. Fast forward a few years and I met him again and thought wow, he’s attractive. I didn’t feel creepy for thinking that way, and nothing happened but it could have given the right circumstances.

Sarahconnor1 · 28/04/2023 12:30

I didn't blame you for anything but context is important. This isn't a one off.

You need to work on your boundaries and self esteem, for your own sake

MMMarmite · 28/04/2023 12:30

No. I don't judge you, but I judge him. He has a position of authority and respect in the lives of you and your friends, having been a father-like figure as you grew up. He should not be using that "in" to get casual sex with a young woman.

Boltonb · 28/04/2023 12:30

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 12:08

You can't just accuse everyone of being a troll. But I'm happy to prove anything to mumsnet that they want

Show quote history

Not accusing everyone. A couple of weeks ago you supposedly shagged your friends ex in a toilet. Had been hospitalised for giving up drinking, joined AA online, and were never drinking again.

Now you’re supposedly going for a drink with a man who’s been hiding his time since you were 11?

It’s all beyond fucked up.

Nordicrain · 28/04/2023 12:30

Hmm Op. you recently did something you really regret because it was inapprorpriate and most people would consider it morally wrong. This time you have decided to get opinions on whether what you plan to do is inappropriate or wrong and people are telling you yes, it is. And you are not willing to accept that.

I think the relevance of your other post is you seem to struggle to identify when sexual encounters might not be socially acceptable. Of course you can do it regardless, but that's what you have asked for opinions on, and that is what people are telling you.

Original poster
Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 12:30

Cantmovewontmove · 28/04/2023 12:29

You have asked if yabu and an overwhelming amount of people have jumped on to say yes, yes you are being unreasonable.

As a pp said - there's plenty of cock in the world - don't shaggy your pals da. That's just wrong. And he's a lecherous old fool.

But I don't want to shag some random person, this is a person I genuinely like

OP posts:
Hellenabe · 28/04/2023 12:31

Op, have you been drinking? I'm just wondering because what you are saying doesn't sound quite normal? Are you an alcoholic who does stupid things when drinking. It sounds like you are desperate for love/attention but this man is taking advantage.

IhearyouClemFandango · 28/04/2023 12:32

Love, you like him for all the wrong reasons. From your other thread you are vulnerable, and grew up in instability. He was a father figure. He knows this, and it is all kinds of wrong that he is even entertaining this idea.

HowDoYouDoWhatYouDoToMeIWishIKnew · 28/04/2023 12:32

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 12:28

None of you understand at all

We understand far more than you do.

This man put in the work when you were a child, and now he's hoping to cash in on that.

You have a very good friend who WILL find out and drop you (but probably not her dad) which will make you spiral into making bad decisions again.

You're clearly in self destruct mode, and this man is trying to take advantage of that, meanwhile you're romantisising it all because you associate him with being a safe person. He isn't, he wants to shag someone younger and you'll just be collateral damage.

Kaaplumff · 28/04/2023 12:32

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Original poster
Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 12:33

Hellenabe · 28/04/2023 12:31

Op, have you been drinking? I'm just wondering because what you are saying doesn't sound quite normal? Are you an alcoholic who does stupid things when drinking. It sounds like you are desperate for love/attention but this man is taking advantage.

Yes I'm drinking again but that has nothing to do with the decision I'm making. He's a nice bloke and I want to spend more time with him. It's better then sitting in all night alone

OP posts: