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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To go for a drink with friends dad

667 replies

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 11:55

Iv been friends with this friend for ever and her dad has always been there for me and has messaged me a few times over the years but it's just been jokey flirty stuff nothing much of anything and he messaged me this morning to go round for a few drinks tonight. I want to go but I don't know how my friend will react.
Yanbu. Do what you want its nobody's business
Yabu. You don't cross that line with a friends dad

OP posts:
fruitbrewhaha · 28/04/2023 12:33

Is this the same friend whose ex you shagged while your kids were playing together?

Jesus.

Do what everyone else does op. Go on dates, join a club to meet some nice men, do a sport or something. There are plenty of blokes around that aren’t related to your friends

Happyhappy10 · 28/04/2023 12:33

Disgusting. Your poor 'friend'.

FineBerol · 28/04/2023 12:33

I would not have sex with my friend's dad, no matter how much I fancied him. It will ruin your relationship with your friend.

If you see a genuine future with him that's different (but weird since he has been a father figure to you in leiu of your own father)

If you just want sex try your friend's ex again?

Abacusporttaco · 28/04/2023 12:33

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 12:03

I'm 26 he's 45. He's known me since I met my friend when we where in secondary school but it was nothing weird back then

Vile. Can’t you see how rank that is?

Redebs · 28/04/2023 12:33

NotAnotherBathBomb · 28/04/2023 12:27

Messyyyyyyyyyu

Here for the deletion message 💅🏽

But she's 'not going to drink' ever again!

lemonyellows · 28/04/2023 12:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 12:34

fruitbrewhaha · 28/04/2023 12:33

Is this the same friend whose ex you shagged while your kids were playing together?

Jesus.

Do what everyone else does op. Go on dates, join a club to meet some nice men, do a sport or something. There are plenty of blokes around that aren’t related to your friends

No its not the same friend

OP posts:
IVbumble · 28/04/2023 12:34

Have I fallen into a Take A Break magazine?

TallulahBetty · 28/04/2023 12:35

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 12:04

Since like 11

This is the cruncher for me. HE KNEW YOU WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD

Withnailandeye · 28/04/2023 12:35

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 12:30

But I don't want to shag some random person, this is a person I genuinely like

It’s not a good idea to casually have a bit of fun with someone you genuinely like.
I find it gross that he wants to fuck his daughters friend and I’m baffled you can’t comprehend why that is.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 28/04/2023 12:35

Yes I'm drinking again but that has nothing to do with the decision I'm making. He's a nice bloke and I want to spend more time with him. It's better then sitting in all night alone

Shark has officially been jumped

Bobshhh · 28/04/2023 12:35

What about your children? Where will they be?

CrystalCoco · 28/04/2023 12:35

Even though this thread seems like a wind up, I'll bite.

Don't do it if you value your friend and her friendship.

You'll be choosing between friend and her Dad, you won't be able to have both. Guaranteed.

Choose wisely, there's no coming back from 'the wrong' decision (ie if you pick Dad just incase I'm not being clear enough)

Whatsthefrequencykenny · 28/04/2023 12:36

There was just a thread on this where a woman slept with her best friend's dad at the friend's wedding. Most people were fine with it.

IVbumble · 28/04/2023 12:36

What about his wife?

KarmaStar · 28/04/2023 12:36

Have you mentioned it to your friend?
If you are planning to have a brief fling with her dad then you should tell her you are going around tonight.Be open and upfront.

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 12:36

Bobshhh · 28/04/2023 12:35

What about your children? Where will they be?

There at their dads

OP posts:
Willmafrockfit · 28/04/2023 12:36

it happens
no need to post asking permission

Abacusporttaco · 28/04/2023 12:37

Your life sounds a bit of a clusterfuck, and fucking your friend’s dad, who’s known you since you were 11, is just about the tin lid on it.

Don’t do it.

Find some self-worth. Work hard. Build up your life. Find someone else if you want to.

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 12:38

KarmaStar · 28/04/2023 12:36

Have you mentioned it to your friend?
If you are planning to have a brief fling with her dad then you should tell her you are going around tonight.Be open and upfront.

Not after this response. I won't be saying a word. I didn't think it was such a big deal but clearly is

OP posts:
aperolspritzbasicbitch · 28/04/2023 12:39

IVbumble · 28/04/2023 12:34

Have I fallen into a Take A Break magazine?

🤣🤣🤣

Mortimercat · 28/04/2023 12:40

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 28/04/2023 12:03

I'm 26 he's 45. He's known me since I met my friend when we where in secondary school but it was nothing weird back then

He is a disgusting pig. And when you are older you will realise this.

Abacusporttaco · 28/04/2023 12:41

Mortimercat · 28/04/2023 12:40

He is a disgusting pig. And when you are older you will realise this.

Doubt it. Her judgement is way off.

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 12:41

Willmafrockfit · 28/04/2023 12:36

it happens
no need to post asking permission

I'm glad she did post and ask permission because she clearly needs some help seeing things clearly.

The fact she posted suggests she knew it was wrong and was hoping to be told to go for it.

@Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy I think you need to take some time to yourself. If you're an alcoholic, I understand you can't just stop drinking, but if you're a mother you need to get better for their sakes.

Womencanlift · 28/04/2023 12:41

He is obviously a substitute father figure in your life. He has been there since you were young, helped you out, was nice to you when you were a child!

That is not the basis for any sort of relationship, one night or longer

You say it is better than being sat in alone. That is such a wrong thing to think. Not only is it fine to be on your own it is actually preferable to doing this.

As others have said if you had met your friend when you were adults and you were attracted to her father then while it’s not ideal it would be ok. This is completely different but you don’t seem to be able to see that