Page 4 | To think boys shouldn’t go in to men’s toilets???

Scotlandma · 2023-04-27T21:05:05+00:00

This is hypothetical I seen another post about someone not letting their 9 year old use mens public bathrooms what age do other people let their children go in to toilets on their own? and how do you navigate them using the disabled toilets if not?? I’d be so worried in case someone actually disabled needed them

Whisper23 · 27/04/2023 22:42

CaroleSinger · 27/04/2023 22:11

By the same logic would they not allow their 9 year old daughter to use ladies toilets?

Are you really that dim? Not the same logic at all.

playgroundwarrior · 27/04/2023 22:43

This whole issue around spaces is why I'm no longer gender critical. It's nonsensical to me that men might pose a threat to women but not little boys. Or adult men for that matter (especially those who are visibly queer or non conforming) The world is not binary. It's all too simplistic.

Original poster

Scotlandma · 27/04/2023 22:44

fitzwilliamdarcy · 27/04/2023 22:36

Yeah, I stopped swimming at 9 because I hit puberty early and mums of boys were bringing their 10 year olds into the changing rooms because they couldn’t get changed by themselves and they saw them as innocent.

Same boys would comment on my breasts and on a couple of occasions reach out and grab them whilst their mums weren’t looking.

The problem as always is that adult men can’t be trusted but what happens is that girls and women pay the price, as spaces become “men” and “boys” rather than men and women.

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@fitzwilliamdarcy its honestly such a shame you had to stop I don’t have a daughter but if the shoe was on the other foot I would definitely kick off about boys being their and my daughter being made to feel uncomfortable

OP posts:

fruitypancake · 27/04/2023 22:44

Boys are vulnerable .. it is not safe . I young boy was sexually assaulted in a public toilet on Bournemouth pier . Obviously some situations are easier to call than others

Bluekerfuffle · 27/04/2023 22:45

Clementineorsatsuma · 27/04/2023 22:06

Take them in the women's? It's all behind doors.

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There are people on MN that would have a conniption at this suggestion. No one with a penis allowed in women’s toilets and no exceptions apparently.

IForgotMyUsernameAgain · 27/04/2023 22:45

My 10 year old has been using the men's for a couple of years now. He would be horrified if I tried to get him to go in with me to the ladies and I doubt I'd be able to persuade him!

Penguin34 · 27/04/2023 22:45

My husband takes our 4 year old girl in the disabled loo.
Should he take her in the men's, possibly urinal only toilet, or have her walk past the men with their bits out to the one cubicle in there.
Or should he take her in the women's toilet, the female space which we do not like men in?
So in this case is it ok to use the disabled but not in any other the other cases where children need the toilet?
Had she been in a nappy they would be in there as that's where the changing tables are

fruitypancake · 27/04/2023 22:46

TheSnowyOwl · 27/04/2023 22:27

From the age of 4, they go into school toilets alone and public toilets are no different. Unless the child actually needs help going to the toilet and getting dressed, I would send them in. However, we live fairly rurally so the likelihood is the toilets are empty anyway. I have to admit I would have a much higher age limit for the public toilets at London train stations or busy venues.

My younger daughter tends to use the disabled toilet - she has autism and can find public toilets too noisy, crowded, bright and smelly.

Of course public toilets are different from school toilets

strawberryfluff · 27/04/2023 22:46

I like toilets with seperate family rooms for this reason

Simonjt · 27/04/2023 22:47

Penguin34 · 27/04/2023 22:45

My husband takes our 4 year old girl in the disabled loo.
Should he take her in the men's, possibly urinal only toilet, or have her walk past the men with their bits out to the one cubicle in there.
Or should he take her in the women's toilet, the female space which we do not like men in?
So in this case is it ok to use the disabled but not in any other the other cases where children need the toilet?
Had she been in a nappy they would be in there as that's where the changing tables are

It’s bizarre that he doesn’t just take her to the mens, being a dad isn’t a disability.

Salamander91 · 27/04/2023 22:47

My 9 year old goes into the men's if I'm waiting outside and will take his 6 year old brother with him. If I'm going into the loos though they come into the ladies with me.

hellywelly3 · 27/04/2023 22:47

I remember one of the first times I let my son go to mens by himself. He came out all happy saying “a man had helped me go to the toilet”. I felt my blood run cold for a split second. I asked, in a trying to sound calm voice, “how did he help you?” He said “he helped turn the tap on!”
The relief I felt! It’s hard letting them grow up sometimes but you have to.

UmbilicusSuperficialis · 27/04/2023 22:48

shyalice · 27/04/2023 22:18

Just go into the men’s with him.

Errr, nope?!

SpringBunnies · 27/04/2023 22:49

What’s wrong with men’s toilet? By year 5 at school, they talk about girls and sex. (There was even a boy expelled at DC school for talking upskirt photos). I really don’t want them at the same toilet as my daughters. If you are a mum of boys, they talk and look at videos on their phones at school. Sexual content starts very young. 9 year olds are year 4/5 so I can see why that’s a cut off.

DC1 is in year 7 so I have recent experience.

Penguin34 · 27/04/2023 22:50

@Simonjt

"It’s bizarre that he doesn’t just take her to the mens, being a dad isn’t a disability."

No, he sees being a dad as an honour, and in no situation does he want to take his 4 year old daughter into a room with men standing with their genitalia out.
They are also filthy and disgusting half the time and he doesn't want her sitting on that seat.

Tell me, is a it a disability when you take your child in there to use the baby changing facilities.

You are bizarre

aberlot · 27/04/2023 22:50

Penguin34 · 27/04/2023 22:45

My husband takes our 4 year old girl in the disabled loo.
Should he take her in the men's, possibly urinal only toilet, or have her walk past the men with their bits out to the one cubicle in there.
Or should he take her in the women's toilet, the female space which we do not like men in?
So in this case is it ok to use the disabled but not in any other the other cases where children need the toilet?
Had she been in a nappy they would be in there as that's where the changing tables are

Is he disabled? Is she disabled?

That should help you work it out...

Penguin34 · 27/04/2023 22:51

Not disabled when you change your baby in their either?

Boomboom22 · 27/04/2023 22:51

I've never been to a swimming pool that segregated, they just have the pool then lockers and cubicles. Only toilets separate. So even with 3 boys I've never had an issue swimming.

playgroundwarrior · 27/04/2023 22:52

Girls look at porn too! Your daughters might well have even looked at porn. Most kids have by 11 nowadays. @SpringBunnies You talk as though girls and boys are a different species. All kids are sexually curious. They're not so different.

Okunevo · 27/04/2023 22:52

Penguin34 · 27/04/2023 22:45

My husband takes our 4 year old girl in the disabled loo.
Should he take her in the men's, possibly urinal only toilet, or have her walk past the men with their bits out to the one cubicle in there.
Or should he take her in the women's toilet, the female space which we do not like men in?
So in this case is it ok to use the disabled but not in any other the other cases where children need the toilet?
Had she been in a nappy they would be in there as that's where the changing tables are

At 4 I'd just send her into the women's, it's very low risk. DS was locking himself in his own cubicle from 3 and meeting me at the sinks. Any younger than 4 and take her to the men's cubicle.

Mindovermatter247 · 27/04/2023 22:52

My son started going in the men’s loos at age 8, I hated it, but he’s 15 now, even though he’s autistic (only diagnosed 5 years ago) he’s taller than most men.. and can get violent if scared so good luck to anyone who tries to go near him…

thinkfast · 27/04/2023 22:52

We've been letting DS use the men's low alone since he was about 8. It can be tough OP - a bit tense waiting for him to come out.

A few years ago DH (who is very well able to stand up for himself) was sexually assaulted in a men's loo in a busy shopping centre. So I do believe they can be a place for weirdos to hang out.

Lysianthus · 27/04/2023 22:53

Annoyingwurringnoise · 27/04/2023 22:07

They shouldn’t be using the disabled toilet unless they have a disability.

This x 10000

Theluggage15 · 27/04/2023 22:53

Penguin34 · 27/04/2023 22:50

@Simonjt

"It’s bizarre that he doesn’t just take her to the mens, being a dad isn’t a disability."

No, he sees being a dad as an honour, and in no situation does he want to take his 4 year old daughter into a room with men standing with their genitalia out.
They are also filthy and disgusting half the time and he doesn't want her sitting on that seat.

Tell me, is a it a disability when you take your child in there to use the baby changing facilities.

You are bizarre

He sees being a dad as an honour?! He should just take her in the men’s. They don’t stand their with their bits out ffs. My husband was perfectly capable of taking my daughter in the men’s, it’s a shame your husband is barging his way into disabled spaces.

Sellingstress · 27/04/2023 22:54

My 10 year old would not want to come into the ladies with me. When he uses the mens I give him a reminder not to talk to anyone and I’d call his name if I felt he was in there too long. The just turned 8 year old doesn’t seem to want to go in alone though, he’ll go in with his brother or his dad on occasion but would rather come into the cubicle with me.