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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want to drop friend off after work out of my way

291 replies

Cherryblossomgirly · 27/04/2023 17:09

My friend doesn’t drive and she usually gets the bus back home from work bus she has recently been asking me and someone else to drop her off as it’s free, shorter journey time and they’ve become unreliable recently. The thing is, she lives the opposite way so I have to drive southbound 20 minutes, 20 minutes back to the junction and then 15 minutes northbound home, so a journey for me which would normally take about 20 minutes ends up taking about an hour (and because of traffic HER SIDE last night took almost 2hrs!) I know it’s good to be helpful but it’s just too cheeky for me, I wouldn’t mind if it were on the way but it’s just too much! I want to stop doing it but I don’t know what to excuse to give.
My other work friend complains about it too but it’s not as far for her as for me.

OP posts:
rookiemere · 01/05/2023 09:38

@Peachslice I'd say to friend if she can make it to your house, you will drive from there.

eish · 01/05/2023 09:40

If it is awkward then that is on her not on you.

T1Dmama · 01/05/2023 12:50

Cherryblossomgirly · 30/04/2023 01:32

Thanks again for the replies. I eventually messaged her early evening on Facebook Messenger. I just told her that the journey time and the terrible traffic on Wednesday was giving me a headache and I wanted more down time on the evening and I wouldn’t be able to do it anymore. It’s still on delivered (even though the there’s a green dot on her profile but what can you do) so I’ll just have to see what she puts.

Any response from her? Have you worked together since?__

Original poster
Cherryblossomgirly · 01/05/2023 17:37

@T1Dmama Yes she just put “Ok, no worries” after 15 hours. I’m a bit miffed she didn’t put thanks for the other times but oh well. I’ve not worked with her yet I’ll only see her Wednesday this week.

OP posts:
Truestorypeeps · 01/05/2023 17:52

I'm glad she won't be taking you for granted any more. Yes, it is a shame she never thanked you but I'm guessing it didn't come as a surprise to you either! Did she not say anything about it taking you two hours?! Like, omg, I had no idea, I would have never asked if I knew it was that bad. She doesn't sound a decent sort.

Crepyenvalois · 01/05/2023 18:08

Very telling she didn’t say thank you, as if it’s a privilege for you to be her unpaid chauffeur!

billy1966 · 01/05/2023 20:58

Cherryblossomgirly · 01/05/2023 17:37

@T1Dmama Yes she just put “Ok, no worries” after 15 hours. I’m a bit miffed she didn’t put thanks for the other times but oh well. I’ve not worked with her yet I’ll only see her Wednesday this week.

"No worries"?🙄

Hope you can see how utterly unconcerned and completely unappreciated your time and money are to her!

Life is going to be very hard, full of wasters and losers as they all gravitate towards the opportunity to use you.

Let this be the beginning of a new assertive you.

Read up on it.

Do the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk.

She is NO friend.

The Freedom Programme. Learn about domestic violence and abuse

The Freedom Programme. For women who want to learn more about the reality of domestic violence and abuse

http://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 01/05/2023 21:38

What an absolute user she is.

Like most people, I probably say thank you more than necessary; if you told me not to say it for a challenge, I'd probably fail, as it would be so instinctive. She can't even trouble herself to briefly acknowledge all of the favours she's had, as now she sees the door closing, she already considers you as nothing to her.

Rosula · 02/05/2023 00:25

Cherryblossomgirly · 01/05/2023 17:37

@T1Dmama Yes she just put “Ok, no worries” after 15 hours. I’m a bit miffed she didn’t put thanks for the other times but oh well. I’ve not worked with her yet I’ll only see her Wednesday this week.

Did she say thanks when you dropped her off, or when you first agreed to take her?

MrsMikeDrop · 02/05/2023 01:32

Crepyenvalois · 01/05/2023 18:08

Very telling she didn’t say thank you, as if it’s a privilege for you to be her unpaid chauffeur!

Agree with and PP. Clearly unappreciative, glad you have stopped. Also NEVER again if she asks you, even if it's an emergency. I'd struggle to even be nice to someone like this.

Seagull97 · 08/05/2023 09:09

You say this person is a close friend of 11 years. Friends don’t do this. She knows it’s out of your way, she knows it takes a long time in traffic. She knows what she’s asking- and she doesn’t offer to pay even for petrol? She’s not your friend. Get rid of parasites like this, you’re better off without them.

Mumof2girls2121 · 14/01/2024 13:11

Say no!

Lighrbulbmo · 14/01/2024 13:16

if shes a friend she will understand that the extra time is shit. Having said that some people are so unaware they think it’s quality social trip to go on a drive together

Mothership4two · 14/01/2024 23:39

Mumof2girls2121 · 14/01/2024 13:11

Say no!

@Cherryblossomgirly did back in April.

Thanks again for the replies. I eventually messaged her early evening on Facebook Messenger. I just told her that the journey time and the terrible traffic on Wednesday was giving me a headache and I wanted more down time on the evening and I wouldn’t be able to do it anymore.

Ladybirder · 15/01/2024 00:31

YANBU - she is being really cheeky and not even paying you for the petrol.
you have every right to tell her that you won’t be taking her home again. However, has anything happened in her life recently that may be affecting her confidence? I only ask because after I was mugged I was scared to get public transport or travel alone, especially in the dark. I would then ask my friends for a lift if they asked me to do things (and they didn’t live by me). I felt I couldn’t tell them why as I was embarrassed about my lack of bounce back and they weren’t very understanding about the attack in the first place. In the end I realised I needed better friends! BUT perhaps just check in first that there isn’t any other reason for your friend asking for lifts - if there is it doesn’t mean that you need to be her taxi service but you might be able to help her get support.

AlwaysGinPlease · 15/01/2024 06:33

Zombie 🧟

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