To think this is gender stereotyping?

[angiec89]

Was talking with a friend a few days ago and she mentioned she was looking for a babysitter for her two kids this Saturday. I suggested DS as he's 16 and local (he could walk there and back), and she knows him well. He's done babysitting before for other friends and neighbours.
My friend looked surprised and essentially said thanks but no thanks.
I thought that seemed reasonable enough as her kids are quite young so maybe she wanted someone older. But no, instead she asked her neighbour's 14 year old daughter instead!
AIBU to think this is because my son's a male?

I assume that everyone who is so offended by acknowledging the reality that it's men who commit the bast majority of sexual assault and rape is in favour of removing all safeguarding measures including background checks for people working with children? We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings after all.

If men are not given the opportunity to do these roles how are they supposed to break gender stereotypical roles? I do feel sorry for some men. From experience, I have seen men who had to leave jobs in female dominated jobs like childcare and primary school teaching they were also questioned "why does he want to work with children he must be a wrongun."

I'd be the same as your friend tbh. Sorry.

The fact they’re more likely to be a sex offender isn’t a ‘gender stereotype’ it’s a fact,

There is a difference between a qualified, vetted, heavily monitored professional teacher (for example) working in a public setting with safeguarding in place, and a 16 yo alone in a private home with access to young children.

Yes. We must protect fragile males feelings before our own children. No fucking chance. 🤪

My partner and son are both good men. I don’t expect anyone else to trust them with their children if they don’t want to. They wouldn’t expect that either. I’m sure it makes good men feel a bit shit, it’s pretty depressing, but good men wouldn’t want others to take risks with their children. It’s as simple as that.

And it is also a fact that most men who commit sexual crimes are white men can we say "no white men because they commit most of the sexual crimes in the UK?"

False equivalent. The check are to see if theres been anything in that's persons history that should be of concern .

If an abuser hasn't been caught they will still pass the checks .

Not the gotcha you think it is

Is it just me that gets serious incel vibes from any man who describes women as "females"

Don’t be absurd 🙄

Reminds me of Friday night dinner!

this thread is why I think I am going to have to take a break from Mumsnet now for a while.

Male does not equal predator
teenage boy does not equal predator

just like

black does not equal mugger
muslim does not equal terrorist
gay does not equal pervert
woman does not equal safe

I would happily let a 16 year old I have known all his life look after my children

Good post.

I'd need to know if that's proportinate to population. There are more white men in the UK so it stands to reason they'd be doing more of the sexual crime overall, but does it stand per head of population.

I also said woman an girls in another post . Not an incel .sorry to burst that bubble

I totally agree with this.

I wouldn’t be offended. In fact, I wouldn’t have offered/suggested it, as I would have preempted this response by society in general. I would, however, be angered - again - that a small but significant number of despicable men have resulted in society having to be cautious of men, even ones just out of childhood. Including my lovely, caring son.

Personally, I wouldn’t have had any of them babysitting mine and got a professional one with a DBS and testimonials etc, ideally one who came recommended by a friend. But again, that’s me acting cautiously based on the seemingly constant news about abuse done by both men and women - including mothers, most shockingly.

Most abuse as a whole is carried out by women. (Neglect, physical, sexual, emotional.)

Couldn't agree with you more, my DH, DS, brother, dad etc would have absolutely no interest in babysitting people's kids and they wouldn't be offended that others wouldn't trust them to either.

The naivety is bordering on dangerous.

Well if I'm to go by what I see at work day in day out they are more likely to be sexually abused by their father and killed by their mother than a random teen babysitter

Any statistics to back that up? I dont disbelieve you. Poster love to point out the stats

By mothers of their own children. Not other female carers. A mother who is considering the safeguarding of her child can't very well rule herself out as a risk, can she?

I'd be fine with that if he was known to us and my son, particularly if he's into football and xbox. My son would want him to look after him all the time!
I wouldn't be keen on anyone I didn't know that well looking after my child, unless of course they're fully vetted because that's their job.

I suspect it is sexist, but she can choose who she wants to look after her kids. Personally I think 14 is a bit young to be solely responsible for younger kids.

False equivalent. The check are to see if theres been anything in that's persons history that should be of concern .
*
If an abuser hasn't been caught they will still pass the checks .
*
Not the gotcha you think it is

You're still assuming the worst of people by running any checks. Surely it's much kinder to assume that they haven't committed a crime and that they'll admit it if they have. You wouldn't want to make them feel bad, would you?

Indeed! My mother (after being appalled by the news about yet another woman being killed or attacked by a man) bought me and all my sisters a rape alarm a year or so ago. To be honest, I only ever think to grab hold of mine in my handbag if there is a man walking behind me at night/in the evening/in a quieter street. Never when it’s a woman. I know: it’s awful as it’s more than likely a decent man but I’m just being honest.