I'm reporting us for social services later. But will they actually help?

[SocialserviceswillTheyhelp]

I have 4 children, we live in a safe and secure home both me and the children's father are here, we work full time and the children have had a safe, loving and well attached upbringing.

On child has a diagnoses of ADHD. One of the symptoms is awful violent meltdowns. He hurts himself and others.
This has been going on since he was 3 years old, he is now 12.
He is an amazing, loving, empathetic, funny child who I utter adore.
But when life does not go his way, he destroys our home, he throws things, he punches, we have massive holes in our walls, our doors, he has smashed glass more times than I can count.
He has never heard our youngest directly but he has been collateral damage by flying objects.
He has repeatedly punched me and left bruises for weeks.
He has run away, he was wondering the streets until 10pm last night saying he wasn't coming home. He switched off his "find my iPhone" so I couldn't see where he was.

What I have tried:

Getting a key worker. They said we were accepted for help in feb 2021 and haven't heard back since.

Speaking to the school over and over. They are next to useless and apparently have an amazing Family Support worker who I am
yet to hear from.

Ive read books - Life without Brakes, 10 ways the a less defiant child, and more.

I've even tried a flipping healer out of pure desperation.

We have regular family outings and regular one to one with him, we will play board games, play cards or the other night we simply went for a nice drive together and had a long chat about anything and everything.

I've tried calling them police during a violent meltdown. They say "do you want your child to have a criminal record?" I say no, they say there's nothing they can do then.

Hes in the CAMHS waiting list for ADHD, that's been 3.5 years.

He got diagnosed privately 2 years ago but the practice closed down so we can try meds, which we were waiting for secondary school to try.

We tried going to the Gp to rush along the CAMHS thing as suggested on here and they said that was impossible.

So that leaves me with reporting myself to SS. Will they help?

YANBU You must do this, and do all you can to help him and yourselves. He is only going to get older and stronger and more able to do some serious harm. Hope you can find the support you need.

If you already have the diagnosis, can you not get meds on px from another Dr?

Surely you have the diagnosis on record somewhere?

I'd keep on at GP and ADHD services in meantime. The squeaky wheel gets the grease

We got referred to SS by the school for a family support worker. She come sto visit us and get to the know the kids at home and school. So far she has helped us get DLA and is referring us to the short breaks team so we can have respite and is looking into an educational psychologist referrwl. We have team around child meetings with school and they are now doing much more to help in school hours. The FSW has a child with ASD herself and so really understands

Unfortunately I agree with this. My 11 year old has ASD and ADHD his meltdowns are phenomenal abusive. I had to do the above and he got allocated a disability social worker..she helps a lot

I wouldn't risk it @SocialserviceswillTheyhelp as two friends' experience has been that then SS accuse them of not looking after their child adequately and stuff, then they have to effectively fight to get SS to let them keep their child.

So unless you're happy for SS to potentially take your child away and house him somewhere else- possibly permanently, I wouldn't risk it.

Once you're fully in their system it can be hard to get out of and you can face countless stressful meetings.

tell them you are unsafe and you can’t care for him anymore

Then they will take her at her word and consider/threaten to take her child away.

Actually this is highly unlikely. Ss don't have the provisions available. I had all the help thrown at me as they were terrified I'd refuse to keep my son.

Yes, absolutely they will. We have the same, I self referred after calling camhs for the number. We now have a Family Support social worker via the Children with Disabilities Team. He has been our godsend. He also aids in getting appointments quicker when we're stuck in a ridulous cycle from Camhs to Psychiatrist to Paed to GP etc. We have regular child in need reviews at his SN school where everyone who is or has been involved at any stage is sent minutes to keep them all updated.

Do it. There is no stigma here. Good luck

🙄🙄

Thats supportive!

@SocialserviceswillTheyhelp
Why haven’t you got another private diagnosis so your poor child so they can try medication instead of police and social services?? This surely must be the absolute top priority for your household given what you have explained here.

He could be on fantastic and life changing meds within a month.

She does have a point though it does/can happen . But people are not believed. But also there are fantastic social workers who would not dream of doing that

so glad you have a family liaison worker as well as a key worker who will help now op

It's also irrelevant in reference to the OPs situation.
Social services for children with disabilities is completely different. They are healthcare social workers👌

I think you mean well, but that's actually very ignorant and insulting

Seems to me the best solution would be to pay for another private diagnosis of ADHD with a practice that will prescribe your ds medication that will help.

so @SocialserviceswillTheyhelp
you already have the diagnosis but now you want the treatment from CAMHS.?
i hope someone works their magic

I wouldn't call the police whilst he's violently flipping out and being uncontrollable, I'd call 999 for an ambulance. He's a huge danger to himself and needs medical intervention.

Or if he IS in control but choosing to do it - then I'd call the police - he won't get a criminal record if you don't press any charges but maybe the fear of that or just having the police round will stop him going so far next time.

ADHD mum here too.

Medication has been a game changer for my son. I do not understand your previous psych saying they wouldn’t prescribe until secondary school. What on earth were they trying to achieve??? ADHD doesn’t disappear. It’s a neurological developmental disorder.

The waiting time for CAHMS is horrific. We’ve only just been seen in the medication clinic after a 3 year wait. Our only option was to go private and see an ADHD specialist paediatrician. I spoke to my GP first who was happy to do shared care with them so we didn’t have to pay for his prescription. As I said. Medication was a GAME CHANGER. Believe me: I know how challenging this is.

Are you happy to say roughly where you are?

💐. It’s hard.

@Whatabouteverything

A reporter or witness doesn't press charges. The CPS does.

Seriously? 🙄

If he has adhd then caffeine goes someway to help.

ADHD is a physical issue. We don’t get enough dopamine to the areas of the brain where it is needed and meds are what he needs but he won’t get them from a gp as they aren’t authorised to prescribe them until he has an assessment with a psychiatrist and has fully titrated and that assessment could be next month or next year or next decade.

I know you have to be referred by your gp to your local mental health unit as an adult or CAHMS as a child (our mental health unit also does children as well) but have you called the mental health unit or CAHMS up to see if they have his referral
Ds’s referral was stopped by another GP as he was supposed to fill out a questionnaire but no one told us so we were waiting to hear for his appointment time and when we had heard nothing after 6 weeks I called the MH unit and they hadn’t got a referral for him, so it was back to the doctors to sort out.
We live in an area that ADHD assessments are done very quickly (mine took 4 months from GPs referral to walking out of my assessment with my first prescription) so I knew at 6 weeks he should have had at least his pre assessment phone call .

Could you in the meantime look up some of the stuff that helps adhd. Maybe getting melatonin from the gp if he has trouble sleeping. (Remember that a coffee or a cola before bed makes us sleepy)

I am at the top amount of prescribed meds I can take and because of my hormones they work to a certain extent in that I stopped snacking and napping every couple of hours but the noise in my head I would say hasn’t changed

On top of my prescribed meds I take Lions Mane, Saffron and L tyrosine otherwise I really couldn’t function just on meds alone
I wash it all down with a Monster

Very very rarely with no support from the 'victim' especially as its a child with medical problems and a relatively minor crime.

You said "he won't get a criminal record if you don't press any charges"

I think you know exactly what I meant and are choosing to just be pedantic. Take a day off.