I'm reporting us for social services later. But will they actually help?

[SocialserviceswillTheyhelp]

I have 4 children, we live in a safe and secure home both me and the children's father are here, we work full time and the children have had a safe, loving and well attached upbringing.

On child has a diagnoses of ADHD. One of the symptoms is awful violent meltdowns. He hurts himself and others.
This has been going on since he was 3 years old, he is now 12.
He is an amazing, loving, empathetic, funny child who I utter adore.
But when life does not go his way, he destroys our home, he throws things, he punches, we have massive holes in our walls, our doors, he has smashed glass more times than I can count.
He has never heard our youngest directly but he has been collateral damage by flying objects.
He has repeatedly punched me and left bruises for weeks.
He has run away, he was wondering the streets until 10pm last night saying he wasn't coming home. He switched off his "find my iPhone" so I couldn't see where he was.

What I have tried:

Getting a key worker. They said we were accepted for help in feb 2021 and haven't heard back since.

Speaking to the school over and over. They are next to useless and apparently have an amazing Family Support worker who I am
yet to hear from.

Ive read books - Life without Brakes, 10 ways the a less defiant child, and more.

I've even tried a flipping healer out of pure desperation.

We have regular family outings and regular one to one with him, we will play board games, play cards or the other night we simply went for a nice drive together and had a long chat about anything and everything.

I've tried calling them police during a violent meltdown. They say "do you want your child to have a criminal record?" I say no, they say there's nothing they can do then.

Hes in the CAMHS waiting list for ADHD, that's been 3.5 years.

He got diagnosed privately 2 years ago but the practice closed down so we can try meds, which we were waiting for secondary school to try.

We tried going to the Gp to rush along the CAMHS thing as suggested on here and they said that was impossible.

So that leaves me with reporting myself to SS. Will they help?

Me I think!

i do think you should be moved up the queue as you are not waiting for a diagnosis, you are waiting for post diagnosis treatment.

I have two children with ADHD who can behave like your son. Can he cope at school?

When you go to the GP ask if they can hurry up the referral to the Neurodevelopmental Clinic. The Neurodevelopmental Clinic can prescribe the medication.
I don't know about your area but the Neurodevelopmental team here is really good. My children's height, weight and BP are.monitored at least 6 monthly, they have a specialist nurse, you can request a meds review.

I think you were really badly let down by the private practice.

Plus, trying to get a CIN plan and basically saying you can't go on like this is a very good idea with social services. If you work with them you know what you need to say.

I'm so so sorry to hear how hard things have been. I've had periods like this with my DC and I know how hopeless it can feel trying to get help 💐.

You sound really strong and a great mum (despite feeling at your wits end with it all). I really hope you are able to get some of the help you and your son deserve soon. 💐

I just wrote a reply to this and deleted the bloody thing accidentally.

I thought I did know what to say, I stated emotional abuse (4 year old witnessing violence) and safeguarding issues (son going out at night in unsafe places) but no catch. They said they will consider us for key work.

My son is not coping at school (year 7) which is why this is all escalating again.
He attends for 2 hours a day on a reduced timetable, SENCO tells me she will put things in place but lack of staffing means it doesn't happen.

I’m sorry your family is going through this. I can’t see that help and support has improved that much in 35 years years since I started working with SEN children. Families still seem to have to beg at breaking point, it’s a disgrace.
All I can suggest is write exactly what support you want and why ( describe your ds behaviour, putting himself and others at risk, impact on other children and you and DH etc) and send that to SS, school, GP, Camhs, your MP ( they are there to serve you) and your local councillors. And anyone else you can think of.
I hope somewhere you get the support you need.

So it may or may not be worth a try but I had a mum of SEND child stop sending her child to school. The low attendance was flagged and basically several agencies soon got involved. The mum refused to send child to a school which couldn't meet their needs, which we definitely couldn't. But mum got far more support and kid was eventually placed in a different school that did have the provision.
However this could be very dependent on the area you live, so I don't want to say it will work but often going to extreme lengths is what it takes to get any action.
I am sorry you are going through this and hope you get some help.

The thread is 8 months old. Hope op has been sorted!