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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you say this is standard for work day ?

189 replies

TinaTeaspoons · 26/04/2023 12:20

Asking someone twice a week to-
Get up at 5.45AM
Walk for 40 minutes and then a 20 minute bus journey to workplace.
Work for 9 hours on feet all day but have an hours lunch.
40 minutes walk home and 20 minute bus journey back.

Person has autoimmune diseases also but they are well controlled. Aibu to say this isn't too much?

OP posts:

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 26/04/2023 15:56

I wouldn't be happy with the commute, but sometimes you do need to do things like this for the right job, or if the only option etc.

stayathomer · 26/04/2023 15:59

Just realised it said ‘on feet all day’. I have no auto immune disease and practically no commute and at the end of a 9 hour day on my feet (shop), I sometimes feel like my body is going to collapse in on itself. Find a closer job definitely!!!

allthebeautifulflowers · 26/04/2023 16:00

It's bad enough when a manager with no understanding of a health condition thinks long days are fine. If my partner expected that, knowing I don't want to and would have to deal with the consequences, I'd wonder if they cared about me or our relationship. His pain condition is probably well controlled because he knows his limits and sticks to them.

I'm also remembering when I had a one day a week job that I hated - dreading it and recovering from it easily occupied half my week.

fizzyfood · 26/04/2023 16:03

If his job is on his feet all day I think a 40 minute walk either side of working is too much. I have done shop work where I was on my feet all day and they ached.

Pjmaskmummy · 26/04/2023 16:04

As someone who has an auto immune condition you are being unreasonable. Even when well controlled the exhaustion is still terrible.

LIZS · 26/04/2023 16:05

What is ok for one person may not be for another. Do you work op? What are the alternatives? If he has a disability has he requested reasonable adjustments or Access2work support?

WonderingWanda · 26/04/2023 16:10

As an employer commute is irrelevant but the employee with medical needs can ask for reasonable adjustments to their job if they are struggling for example 9 hours on their feet. Only your dh knows if it will be too much for him. What are the implications if he takes the job and then realises its too much, will he have resigned from a more suitable job? If he is currently unemployed would be benefit from the experience and could he then use his medical condition to ask for some modifications. It's hard without knowing the actual job. Is it possible to have shorter breaks spaced throughout the shift. Is being seated some of the time reasonable?

SleepingStandingUp · 26/04/2023 16:15

TinaTeaspoons · 26/04/2023 12:31

It's DH. Said it would be too much for him but I think it would be ok as just 2 days that he would need to do this.

But it's not your body and not your illness, so you don't get to decide that he can do it. Simple as that. Why do you respect the opinions of people on here more than your husbands?

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 26/04/2023 16:17

@TinaTeaspoons if your DH has the health conditions as described and he is saying that he doesn't think he can manage that commute with 9 hours on his feet working then I think you need to listen to him .

@Youheshetheysaid I think that advance searching someone and throwing their previous posts back on them in the way that you are doing is unreasonable . I noticed you do it in another thread yesterday and it can come across as you being a tad bullying . I agree that in this case the OP perhaps needed to give us a little more information rather than minimising what does appear to be quite serious illness her husband is having to contend with.

Dinoswearunderpants · 26/04/2023 16:24

A 9 hour work day with an hour lunch is very standard. If you choose to take a job with a commute, that's on you.

drpet49 · 26/04/2023 16:26

stayathomer · 26/04/2023 15:59

This. I think it is too much.

drpet49 · 26/04/2023 16:27

SleepingStandingUp · 26/04/2023 16:15

But it's not your body and not your illness, so you don't get to decide that he can do it. Simple as that. Why do you respect the opinions of people on here more than your husbands?

Show quote history

This!

Heronwatcher · 26/04/2023 16:27

If it’s just 2 days a week I think it would be fine. Is there any way to help the 40 min walk though, like a bike, scooter and occasional lifts if raining etc?

BadNomad · 26/04/2023 16:28

It's probably doable...if he's allowed to spend the rest of the week in bed recovering. That's a lot of prolonged physical activity for someone with RA. If it becomes stressful then it might flare up the RA and UC. He'll be fit for nothing then.

BramblyHedgeMouse · 26/04/2023 16:32

It might be fine if you’re fit and healthy and used to it.

If you’re not used used to it, it would take a while to adapt. Personally even without a medical condition I know I would be exhausted, that’s basically being on your feet for 9 hours and the lunch break wouldn’t allow for a rest.

I would be looking at improving the walking part of the commute, or maybe shorter days to begin with.

Eckyftang · 26/04/2023 16:33

Given the op withheld pertinent info and didn't get the responses she wanted.

I wonder how long before this thread is deleted 🤣

ShowUs · 26/04/2023 16:38

It is his body and he understands what it and can’t cope with.

What is the reason for him getting a job?
Are there no other jobs available?

Aweebitpainful · 26/04/2023 16:39

A job closer to home that’s not standing all day would be a better bed for someone with those conditions.

Aweebitpainful · 26/04/2023 16:41

^bet not bed

yoga4meinthemorning · 26/04/2023 16:43

Employers have to make reasonable adjustments if an employee is disabled as defined in the EA.

That can include commute times.

I certainly couldn't do this.

RuthW · 26/04/2023 16:47

At 54 I couldn't walk for 40 mins twice a day and stand up all day. Maybe a younger/fitter person could.

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 26/04/2023 16:56

I think the work day is standard, I couldn't be bothered with the commute and would get a job closer to home

Viviennemary · 26/04/2023 17:02

Its far too much.

TheGander · 26/04/2023 17:09

Sounds awful even at 2 days a week. 2 hours commuting, on feet all day and the poor man has two auto immune conditions. Try that in reverse with a husband suggesting his wife should do that and stand back for the outraged replies.

MysteryBelle · 26/04/2023 17:12

I think it’s a bit much. Helps that it’s only two days but still.

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