Would you say this is standard for work day ?

[TinaTeaspoons]

Asking someone twice a week to-
Get up at 5.45AM
Walk for 40 minutes and then a 20 minute bus journey to workplace.
Work for 9 hours on feet all day but have an hours lunch.
40 minutes walk home and 20 minute bus journey back.

Person has autoimmune diseases also but they are well controlled. Aibu to say this isn't too much?

If a person with a known health issue says that this type of day schedule is too much for them, then it is indeed too much.

2 x 40 min walk is a,lot in one day before and after work
Isnt there another way ?
Taxis? Car? Ebike?
If he wants and likes the job then he can spend more on an easier commute

Only your DH can answer this.
The question is whether you want to be with him if he answers he can’t manage this. If you don’t want a disabled husband, that I’m assuming changed after you married then leave him. But that’s you not wanting a disabled husband not your husbands fault he became disabled.

If he gets tired very easily, I can’t see how he would cope with a 9 hour working day, on his feet, with all that walking before and after, @TinaTeaspoons.

He might be able to push himself to do it, but that could lead to his conditions flaring up, and causing him long term problems. I have an autoimmune condition - lymphocytic colitis - and other conditions, and I know that, when I push myself beyond my limits, I pay for it big-time afterwards.

I think that's too much It depends of the person actually thinks it is. People can cope with different things

Well I wouldn't choose a job that required me to do that and I don't have any diagnosed autoimmune diseases (although I do have ongoing undiagnosed issues)

If it is your DH's job then its his choice. Surely he needs to decide whether its too much for him or not and its got nothing to do with you? He needs to choose a job that he knows he is able to do, which includes the commute and the length of shift. That's his personal judgement to make.

I have well controlled Crohn's and arthritis so quite similar.

I couldn't do that long term. I'd be able to do a few weeks or maybe even a couple of months, but it would make a flare up pretty inevitable.

When you're not chronically ill it might be hard to understand how that goes, like 'you did it/something similar so obviously you're fine' but this sort of thing builds up over time, it catches up with you. You can end up using up all your reserves then being in the shit (lol, literally in this case) and not able to do anything for months.

So, for me, this is the sort of thing I would do for a limited time or every now and then, but I wouldn't commit to it as normal because I know it wouldn't work.

I personally find it helpful, instead of all the 'can't do this, can't do that' which is depressing for everyone, to focus on what I CAN do then find something that fits in that. He should also keep in mind when looking at jobs that he's entitled to reasonable adjustments.

40 min walk then getting a 20 min bus sounds like a right faff. But the job itself sounds fairly normal

It doesn’t matter which conditions he has and it’s not up to you to say whether you think he could cope.

I’m not diagnosed with anything but I’m autistic and burnt out. Even I have trouble managing my energy levels so I’d be very angry if someone else tried to do it for me!

Whether that is too much for him is up to him, not you.

Whether you want to be with him is up to you alone.

It feels like you want a bunch of strangers to pile on him and side with you. If that is the case then you'd better do something about your unhealthy level of resentment.

I think the walking sounds feasible in warm daylight but doing it in pouring rain in the dark both ways would be a no from me and I'm healthy.

Depends how used he is to walking, how fit he is. I did similar walk and shift as a teenager but couldn’t do it now!

with the extra information you didnt share to start, YABU

I think that sounds pretty grim if he gets tired easily. That’s almost 10 hours standing/walking in a day. I think most people would find that quite challenging unless they were very physically fit.I’d investigate cycling, lift sharing, taxi at least to bus stop, etc. but as it stands I can see why your DH is reluctant.

Why are you so determined for him to do this job OP?

If a person with chronic health issues says it would be too much for them, it is too much for them. It is not for people on social media to make a judgement. Your poor DH, you sound as though you think he is swinging the lead.

Why do they need a 40 min walk? Is there no bus? Sounds a lot to me so 11 hours a day?
what do you do?

The getting-up time and the commuting time relate to where you live, not to the job.

Very good post.

I do a fairly physical job where I’m on my feet all day. I’m under 40, fit and healthy and my commute is usually around an hour each way by car. I’m usually absolutely shattered when I get home. It’s a pretty full on day for someone in good health. If your husband is saying it’s too much, he knows his body. Don’t underestimate how tiring it can be being on your feet all day.

Genuine question - Why doesn't he look for something desk based he can do from home?

Yes this is very accurate. If someone asked me right now I'd say I'm fine but I'm actually in quite a lot of pain that I'm trying to ignore 🤣

How people get to work, whether it’s walking, bus, train, driving or cycling is of no concern to an employer. Equally in no workplace I’ve ever worked has the boss been concerned or aware of what time I get out of bed. If you start work at 8am it’s up to the employee to asses whether that’s manageable when you accept a job.

Could he get a bike rather than a 40 minute walk?

But it's not his employer questioning him, it's his wife who you would think would be a little more understanding