Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Made in Chelsea blokes - twins via surrogate

358 replies

HermioneKipper · 25/04/2023 19:39

More “celebs” commissioning a woman’s body to buy a baby.

When is this going to be made illegal 😡

And twins again. So many of them have twins. I think I get a bit triggered by this especially as I have twins and know how dangerous twin pregnancy can be for both mother and babies. And what it does to a woman’s body. No one could consent to this.

Had to switch off Giovanna Fletcher and her simpering podcast when they started talking about “their” miscarriages. Horrific amounts of bleeding, pain and horrendous wrenching emotional pain for you was it mates? No, didn’t think so.

OP posts:
Poopoolittlekitten · 25/04/2023 21:00

So you have twins, healthy twins, and are fine but are ‘triggered’ by the idea that other people are having twins?
get.a.grip
and a life - why would you give a shiny shit?

IcedPurple · 25/04/2023 21:01

Londongal123 · 25/04/2023 20:48

I can't believe how homophobic mumsnet is. All these crazy ladies typing behind a keyboard shit they wouldn't say to their neighbour.

I'd happily tell my neighbour that I don't believe that a woman's body can be rented and her baby removed at birth. Even if she 'consents'. Whether the 'intended parents' are gay, straight, male or female.

That's hardly a radical opinion. It's in line with the laws in several Western European countries, which ban surrogacy in all circumstances.

HermioneKipper · 25/04/2023 21:02

Poopoolittlekitten · 25/04/2023 21:00

So you have twins, healthy twins, and are fine but are ‘triggered’ by the idea that other people are having twins?
get.a.grip
and a life - why would you give a shiny shit?

Because I care about women and what happens to their bodies.

I know what twin pregnancy does to a woman’s body and trust me when i say that no one would consent to it if they knew what was involved.

I could’ve died giving birth to them and I don’t think other women should have to go through that so that someone can buy a baby at the end

OP posts:
Jazsimone · 25/04/2023 21:03

@HermioneKipper

I'm sure your gay "friends" would be interested at your narrow minded pitiful excuse of reasoning for surrogacy.

Maybe ask them round to discuss it, I'm sure the room will empty pretty quickly.

Woman are offering surrogacy, they are not pinned down and forced. They CHOOSE to do it.

What is not clear to you?

Poopoolittlekitten · 25/04/2023 21:03

‘Adopt or foster?’

yes, So simple. And you suggest this to every straight couple trying to conceive, struggling to conceive, thinking of IVF, of course? In fact, all those babies who need adopting and fostering - we should all be adopting.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 25/04/2023 21:04

Lennybenny · 25/04/2023 19:43

I get annoyed every time I see same sex couples having twins or just children via surrogates.

It seems to be a celebrity perk to be able to buy your children.

Just same sex couples? Straight couples using a surrogate is fine? Confused

Newnamenewname109870 · 25/04/2023 21:05

Oddessa · 25/04/2023 20:24

Wow. It really shocks me when I come across such sickening views as yours OP.

You have children and yet you want to deny people that?

  • Their surrogate wasn’t forced into it
  • She could have had an abortion if she didn’t want to carry twins, it’s her body, her choice. Plus she’s legally the parent until she transfer parental rights.

I’m so glad I don’t know anyone like you in real life OP,

I completely agree but you will get flamed for this. Mumsnet is very anti surrogacy.

pontipinemum · 25/04/2023 21:05

It's not usually (ever?) the surrogates baby though is it?

I don't disagree with surrogacy so long as the woman has fully consented and knows what she is signing up for. "Point out a rich woman that would do it" point out a lot of things a rich woman wouldn't do!

To be honest I wouldn't have done it for anyone bar one of my siblings.

Poopoolittlekitten · 25/04/2023 21:05

@HermioneKipper ’triggered’ ??? Fecking triggered? I hope for your children’s sake you manage to develop some resilience soon.

Jazsimone · 25/04/2023 21:05

@HermioneKipper

Do you remind your husband every night of how
He put your body at risk?

Poor poor you

Newnamenewname109870 · 25/04/2023 21:05

NotAnotherBathBomb · 25/04/2023 21:04

Just same sex couples? Straight couples using a surrogate is fine? Confused

And bingo there’s the hidden homophobia.

usererror99 · 25/04/2023 21:06

britnay · 25/04/2023 20:12

How do you propose two men have a child?
Should they not be able to have children because they are a gay couple?

No

Use of surrogacy and egg and sperm donors should be banned

HermioneKipper · 25/04/2023 21:06

Jazsimone · 25/04/2023 21:03

@HermioneKipper

I'm sure your gay "friends" would be interested at your narrow minded pitiful excuse of reasoning for surrogacy.

Maybe ask them round to discuss it, I'm sure the room will empty pretty quickly.

Woman are offering surrogacy, they are not pinned down and forced. They CHOOSE to do it.

What is not clear to you?

I already said that both gay couples I know that adopted don’t agree with surrogacy!

As they’re decent humans. They didn’t think it was right for a woman to put their body through that to give the baby up at the end.

Theres things that shouldn’t be able to be consented to. It’s my body - why can’t I sell my kidney if I want?

OP posts:
Newmumatlast · 25/04/2023 21:07

Oddessa · 25/04/2023 20:24

Wow. It really shocks me when I come across such sickening views as yours OP.

You have children and yet you want to deny people that?

  • Their surrogate wasn’t forced into it
  • She could have had an abortion if she didn’t want to carry twins, it’s her body, her choice. Plus she’s legally the parent until she transfer parental rights.

I’m so glad I don’t know anyone like you in real life OP,

Same tbh

Newnamenewname109870 · 25/04/2023 21:07

Poopoolittlekitten · 25/04/2023 21:03

‘Adopt or foster?’

yes, So simple. And you suggest this to every straight couple trying to conceive, struggling to conceive, thinking of IVF, of course? In fact, all those babies who need adopting and fostering - we should all be adopting.

Yup. And actually a baby born from a surrogate can have a very happy and full filling life with their parents. If that’s ‘selfish’ then literally every person who has a baby is selfish. So what? We are wired to procreate and live lives as that’s what we’re programmed to want to do. (A lot of us, clearly not everyone has this inbuilt drive).

waterlego · 25/04/2023 21:07

pontipinemum · 25/04/2023 21:05

It's not usually (ever?) the surrogates baby though is it?

I don't disagree with surrogacy so long as the woman has fully consented and knows what she is signing up for. "Point out a rich woman that would do it" point out a lot of things a rich woman wouldn't do!

To be honest I wouldn't have done it for anyone bar one of my siblings.

‘Is it or isn’t it the surrogate’s baby?’ is a good question and one people seem to disagree on. Sometimes the surrogate’s own eggs are used. Sometimes they are donor eggs, but even in that scenario, the surrogate’s body creates the baby.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 25/04/2023 21:07

OriginalUsername2 · 25/04/2023 20:42

When I was younger I saw no problems with this. But having experiencing my teen DD needing me during puberty I think two gay men can’t provide what they need. They could say and do all the same things but I really feel the biological connection between us and her need for her mother.

Its also occurred to me that humans see it as morally wrong to take a kitten away from its mother before it’s 6-8 weeks old. 🤔

These posts always bring out the homophobes!

dailytalk · 25/04/2023 21:07

HermioneKipper · 25/04/2023 19:39

More “celebs” commissioning a woman’s body to buy a baby.

When is this going to be made illegal 😡

And twins again. So many of them have twins. I think I get a bit triggered by this especially as I have twins and know how dangerous twin pregnancy can be for both mother and babies. And what it does to a woman’s body. No one could consent to this.

Had to switch off Giovanna Fletcher and her simpering podcast when they started talking about “their” miscarriages. Horrific amounts of bleeding, pain and horrendous wrenching emotional pain for you was it mates? No, didn’t think so.

What about the British couple who have a surrogacy with a married British woman (so they have to adopt the child from the hired womb) and she's having their second child?

dailytalk · 25/04/2023 21:08

Bluebells1970 · 25/04/2023 20:18

I can only hope that the UK never goes down the road that the US has with surrogacy. It's deeply upsetting to think of a baby ripped from its mothers' womb and handed to a stranger for money.

It's not ripped. That's adoption which I do find to be cruel.

Newnamenewname109870 · 25/04/2023 21:09

HermioneKipper · 25/04/2023 21:06

I already said that both gay couples I know that adopted don’t agree with surrogacy!

As they’re decent humans. They didn’t think it was right for a woman to put their body through that to give the baby up at the end.

Theres things that shouldn’t be able to be consented to. It’s my body - why can’t I sell my kidney if I want?

Good for them. They don’t speak for everyone. A lot of people can’t adopt and can be amazing parents.

DyslexicPoster · 25/04/2023 21:09

How would feel if a woman had a baby for her daughter or sister and no money changed hands?

HermioneKipper · 25/04/2023 21:09

Poopoolittlekitten · 25/04/2023 21:05

@HermioneKipper ’triggered’ ??? Fecking triggered? I hope for your children’s sake you manage to develop some resilience soon.

Yes how dare I be triggered by the fact I nearly died giving birth to two large babies and have ongoing complications from twin pregnancy/birth.

Almost every twin mother I know has issues as a result of giving birth.

OP posts:
dailytalk · 25/04/2023 21:09

thebellagio · 25/04/2023 20:32

can I ask a question?

people on here hate surrogacy saying it’s because it rips a child from its mother, and everything it’s known for 9 months. Then these same people happily suggest adoption instead.

can I respectfully ask how it’s literally any different? because if it’s a private adoption from birth surely that’s exactly the same situation (think Monica/chandler in friends)

or adoption via social services over here is an entirely different ballpark with significant trauma that needs to be dealt with. As does foster care.

Adoption I feel is torture for the mother who's had a part of her taken away.

Surrogacy they do it for bizarre reasons.

dailytalk · 25/04/2023 21:10

OriginalUsername2 · 25/04/2023 20:42

When I was younger I saw no problems with this. But having experiencing my teen DD needing me during puberty I think two gay men can’t provide what they need. They could say and do all the same things but I really feel the biological connection between us and her need for her mother.

Its also occurred to me that humans see it as morally wrong to take a kitten away from its mother before it’s 6-8 weeks old. 🤔

I find taking a kitten away from its mother at any stage is awful.

Newnamenewname109870 · 25/04/2023 21:11

dailytalk · 25/04/2023 21:08

It's not ripped. That's adoption which I do find to be cruel.

Exactly! Adopted children have trauma because their whole existence is traumatic. Surrogate children have a willing happy and healthy woman carrying them. They are generically their parents, not the woman who carries them. They have a relationship with their parents from conception where they will be looking after their birth mother, speaking to them through the womb, everything! It’s really not the same.