Made in Chelsea blokes - twins via surrogate

[HermioneKipper]

More “celebs” commissioning a woman’s body to buy a baby.

When is this going to be made illegal 😡

And twins again. So many of them have twins. I think I get a bit triggered by this especially as I have twins and know how dangerous twin pregnancy can be for both mother and babies. And what it does to a woman’s body. No one could consent to this.

Had to switch off Giovanna Fletcher and her simpering podcast when they started talking about “their” miscarriages. Horrific amounts of bleeding, pain and horrendous wrenching emotional pain for you was it mates? No, didn’t think so.

Women who are surrogates do it for the money and it’s a bloody risky business.

You can’t sell a kidney either.

Sex work isn’t work.

Gay couples shouldn’t be able to have children in any way they like and nor should anyone else.

I would never condone surrogacy, no matter the situation with my own children.

I watch MIC 🙈. And the things that have me irrational rage were them saying ‘we’re pregnant’ no, they are not pregnant, the surrogate is. And aaallll the drama and emotion saying it’s taken them so long to get to this stage, it’s been so difficult etc, can’t get past 12 weeks etc..well yes, maybe it has been hard for them on some level, but as someone who has gone through multiple miscarriage in the past, no, it’s not been that hard for them as for women - it must have been hard for the woman going through the miscarriages for them. To be more sensitive they could have just not said anything, but trying to express their emotions about the ‘journey’ using the same tone and language as the woman carrying the baby would have done is just bleurgh. It’s a different experience. Having said that, I don’t know where I stand on surrogacy per se…as it must be hard to not be able to have children and can understand why adoption isn’t for everyone.

The forced adoption scandal of the 1960s was in the news today. I can so easily see this being the same kind of scandal in the future. History repeats.

When I was younger I saw no problems with this. But having experiencing my teen DD needing me during puberty I think two gay men can’t provide what they need. They could say and do all the same things but I really feel the biological connection between us and her need for her mother.

Its also occurred to me that humans see it as morally wrong to take a kitten away from its mother before it’s 6-8 weeks old. 🤔

@Oddessa, it’s a bit much to object to being called ‘thick’ when you had called someone ‘demented’ 2 minutes prior.

So you’re against gay people having children.

What about a child who has a mother who dies? Maybe that father should give them up for adoption to a straight couple.

Because they are demented to a scary level.

@HermioneKipper

It's governed in this country, you don't make money from being a surrogate ... go and educate yourself. You sound ridiculous.

It isn't your body, these women choose to be surrogates through compassion and empathy for couples.

So basically your homophobic. Gay couples have been having children for years and shouldn't be denied that opportunity. Gay couples jump through hoops to have children, for then heterosexual couples to throw their children in care because making them is SO easy.

Maybe try picking up a book once and a while, you might learn something

@Oddessa. Ah ok, some insults are ok and others aren’t. Righto.

I can't believe how homophobic mumsnet is. All these crazy ladies typing behind a keyboard shit they wouldn't say to their neighbour.

Yes this is what made me switch that bloody podcast off in a rage!

That and Giovanna simpering away about miscarriages with them.

”They” haven’t had a bloody miscarriage!

Men have absolutely no understanding of it. My husband was lovely and sympathetic when I had my miscarriages. And sad for the plans we were making that were quite literally down the toilet. But he wasn’t the one bleeding through pads in half an hour, experiencing agonising cramps and in an emotional black hole. Or having to have scans and procedures in hospital to remove tissue.

It’s not about gay couples, it’s about anyone using a woman’s body for their own gain.

Compassion and empathy - ha bloody ha. You clearly have done no reading yourself and are buying the fairytale these “commissioning parents” are selling.

I’m not disagreeing with your views on surrogacy, but in my case my husband was the one who managed to calm the baby in the first month after birth.

Adoption is about providing a forever family for a child who already exists and is in desperate need of it. It is a wonderful thing to do - which is not to downplay how hard it is, for all parties involved. It is only done when all other options have been exhausted (and there is no voluntary adoption in the UK, really - children up for adoption have been removed from their birth parents who could not parent them safely or effectively).

This is not what happens in surrogacy. surrogacy is creating a baby to order and then knowingly removing it from its mother. Not the same at all as adoption. Those who think it is need to read up on the fourth trimester and attachment disorder. It is not in a baby’s best interests to be removed from its mother even if there are willing people waiting to be its new parents.

Also, a few ethical questions:
what if the mother dies in labour or as a result of complications afterwards?
What if a scan shows the baby will have a disability and the prospective parents wish to abort but the pregnant woman doesn’t?
What if she is left with permanent injury after the birth?

I’m not homophobic at all. I know two gay couples that have adopted and think it’s wonderful.

I disagree with using women’s bodies as commodities.

I would 100% back everything I’ve said and would happily tell my neighbour if they asked me my views on surrogacy.

@HermioneKipper

Your points are a joke. You clearly have no connection to anyone that has been apart of surrogacy.

And for the rest of the posters comparing women to cats .... come on.

@HermioneKipper

"I’m not homophobic at all. I know two gay couples that have adopted and think it’s wonderful."

The classic "I have a gay friend" COURSE YOU DO.

What about a son’s need for his mother, or a daughter’s need for her father? I know of a few friends whose fathers were the shoulder they could cry on, got them through puberty etc. Not everyone has access to great parents, just look at the discussions on here.

What you are really asking is 'Do men have the right to rent out a woman's body for 9 months and then remove the child they have purchased from her at birth?'

Because the reality is, two men can't have a baby. They need a woman to do that for them. But women don't exist to pander to men's desires. Do they?

How other people parent is up to them. Not everyone agrees that surrogacy is “ripping a baby away from its mother.” There will be aspects of your parenting which some other people would deem inadequate or abusive. If they believe that that’s the case, then they have the option to parent their children differently, just as you have the option not to use a surrogate if you dislike it and think it’s wrong.

The more time I spend on MN reading about all the fucked up situations people decide to have babies in, the more I realise quite how many people really aren’t equipped to be parents at all due to ill-health, neurodiversity, emotional immaturity, financial instability, shit relationships, or just their own sheer utter selfishness - except they’re fertile heterosexual people, so nobody can stop them doing what they want. Start there condemning those idiots, if you give a shit about the well-being of babies.

I do. One set are friends, another is a work colleague and his partner.

Believe me or don’t. I know I’m not homophobic in the slightest.

I have no issue with gay men adopting (or lesbians for that matter)

But I do disagree with ANYONE using a woman’s body for their own gain and to buy a baby.