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Original poster

Made in Chelsea blokes - twins via surrogate

358 replies

HermioneKipper · 25/04/2023 19:39

More “celebs” commissioning a woman’s body to buy a baby.

When is this going to be made illegal 😡

And twins again. So many of them have twins. I think I get a bit triggered by this especially as I have twins and know how dangerous twin pregnancy can be for both mother and babies. And what it does to a woman’s body. No one could consent to this.

Had to switch off Giovanna Fletcher and her simpering podcast when they started talking about “their” miscarriages. Horrific amounts of bleeding, pain and horrendous wrenching emotional pain for you was it mates? No, didn’t think so.

OP posts:
KimberleyClark · 25/04/2023 21:54

A child is not a right. And a woman’s body to create one is certainly not a right.

headstone · 25/04/2023 21:55

There is also this idea surrounding surrogacy that as long as everyone consents it’s all ok, ethically this isn’t true. How a doctor can agree to put two embryos into a surrogate I don’t know. I know they get paid to do the clients bidding but the idea a doctor would deliberately put a mother and babies and increased risk for a commissioning parent is really sickening.

waterlego · 25/04/2023 21:55

Notimeforaname · 25/04/2023 21:46

And this is the case for every adopted person? They have all suffered and are..damaged?
Yes.
Oh wow..ok..

Have you done any reading on the topic at all?

I am very close with a couple of people who have been adopted. I just didn't know they are damaged. I dont think they know either..

So because you know two adopted people that you personally do not believe are damaged, all of the research evidence about trauma suffered by adopted people is just nonsense?

SuffolkUnicorn · 25/04/2023 21:56

Agree with you OP

Comby · 25/04/2023 21:57

Sorry if this has already been posted as it's going so fast, but on her instagram page she has tagged Circle Surrogacy which is a US surrogacy agency.

kirsty2023 · 25/04/2023 22:00

Comby · 25/04/2023 21:57

Sorry if this has already been posted as it's going so fast, but on her instagram page she has tagged Circle Surrogacy which is a US surrogacy agency.

Does it really matter what place is being used for them it's there choice not anyone else people are to quick to jump on to people leave them be

Holycow23x · 25/04/2023 22:00

Oh for the love of god🫣 get a grip!

Jazsimone · 25/04/2023 22:03

@waterlego

The father and mother whose DNA a child carries are the child's biological parents. Legal parents have a family relationship to the child by law, but do not need to be related by blood, for example in the case of an adopted child

You typed biological mother into the dictionary .... okay.

Google could have given you the actual answer quicker

Snugglemonkey · 25/04/2023 22:13

HermioneKipper · 25/04/2023 21:40

Well you weren’t listening very well were you.

As single egg transfer is recommended because more than one egg could mean more than one baby. The twins you’re talking about occur from two or more eggs being put back.

Identical twins come from one egg and occur naturally and very rarely. (A tiny percentage more commonly in IVF. TINY though)

Non id twins are much more common

Show quote history

Don't be so fucking cheeky. I listened perfectly well. They dislike two eggs going in because you are at risk of fraternal twins, but more worrying, of greater multiples if an egg splits.

Nowdontmakeamess · 25/04/2023 22:20

headstone · 25/04/2023 21:37

commercial surrogacy isn’t a good thing for the female sex is it. Just another form of prostitution, renting out the reproductive organs. It’s not the kind of job anyone would want for their own daughter. It reduces women to bodies used to breed from, like farm animals.

Exactly. So many women blinded to the misogyny and telling critics to ‘be kind’.

VestaTilley · 25/04/2023 22:21

YANBU. It should be illegal.

waterlego · 25/04/2023 22:30

@Jazsimone, I did type it into Google! Those were two of the first results to come up 😂

The people whose gametes have been donated could also be called biological parents, yes- certainly in the case of the sperm donor who is the only person in the scenario who can be considered the biological father of the child. The egg donor would more accurately be considered the genetic mother.

Surely2023IsTheYearForMyRainbowBaby · 25/04/2023 22:32

Notimeforaname · 25/04/2023 21:46

And this is the case for every adopted person? They have all suffered and are..damaged?
Yes.
Oh wow..ok..

Have you done any reading on the topic at all?

I am very close with a couple of people who have been adopted. I just didn't know they are damaged. I dont think they know either..

I'm adopted. Let me 100% reassure you, that I am not damaged because of it!

LakeTiticaca · 25/04/2023 22:54

Probably best you butt out and concentrate on your own life OP.
Who is to say that 2 men in a loving relationship can't be good loving parents?
Not heard of any surrogate parents off their heads on crack cocaine living in a shit hole and beating their children death recently. Have you?

Purplebunnie · 25/04/2023 22:56

HermioneKipper · 25/04/2023 20:04

I disagree with surrogacy for anyone, same sex couples or straight couples. Or single men or women

Even for a sister being a surrogate for a sister who is unable to conceive?

Clymene · 25/04/2023 23:03

I am against all surrogacy, no matter what the reason. Children aren't commodities - they shouldn't be bought, sold or traded.

Original poster
HermioneKipper · 25/04/2023 23:03

LakeTiticaca · 25/04/2023 22:54

Probably best you butt out and concentrate on your own life OP.
Who is to say that 2 men in a loving relationship can't be good loving parents?
Not heard of any surrogate parents off their heads on crack cocaine living in a shit hole and beating their children death recently. Have you?

Good idea, best butt out of all things that don’t affect me.

Screw helping people in poverty, screw caring about those in need of mental health support and not getting it, forget anyone can’t afford to feed their family.

I have an interest and care about many things, particularly women and children.

I really hope they will be wonderful parents, it’s happening, it would be unconscionable to hope anything else. But they shouldn’t be able to exploit a woman’s body for their own gain. No one should

Ridiculous comment.

OP posts:
monsteramunch · 25/04/2023 23:04

thebellagio · 25/04/2023 20:32

can I ask a question?

people on here hate surrogacy saying it’s because it rips a child from its mother, and everything it’s known for 9 months. Then these same people happily suggest adoption instead.

can I respectfully ask how it’s literally any different? because if it’s a private adoption from birth surely that’s exactly the same situation (think Monica/chandler in friends)

or adoption via social services over here is an entirely different ballpark with significant trauma that needs to be dealt with. As does foster care.

Adoption occurs to place an existing child in need with adoptive parents. It is a child centred process.

Surrogacy occurs to create a child on demand. It is a parent centred process.

They are completely different, I find it a little hard to grasp someone not understanding that but I've answered in good faith assuming you really didn't see the huge difference between them.

FWIW I'm adopted.

Isitthathardtobekind · 25/04/2023 23:09

ComtesseDeSpair · 25/04/2023 20:57

How other people parent is up to them. Not everyone agrees that surrogacy is “ripping a baby away from its mother.” There will be aspects of your parenting which some other people would deem inadequate or abusive. If they believe that that’s the case, then they have the option to parent their children differently, just as you have the option not to use a surrogate if you dislike it and think it’s wrong.

The more time I spend on MN reading about all the fucked up situations people decide to have babies in, the more I realise quite how many people really aren’t equipped to be parents at all due to ill-health, neurodiversity, emotional immaturity, financial instability, shit relationships, or just their own sheer utter selfishness - except they’re fertile heterosexual people, so nobody can stop them doing what they want. Start there condemning those idiots, if you give a shit about the well-being of babies.

Agree.

dailytalk · 25/04/2023 23:14

Clymene · 25/04/2023 23:03

I am against all surrogacy, no matter what the reason. Children aren't commodities - they shouldn't be bought, sold or traded.

Would you not say it's an act of love?

dailytalk · 25/04/2023 23:26

@Surely2023IsTheYearForMyRainbowBaby what about your bi mum? Is she damaged by it?

TheyAreMyBhunasPete · 25/04/2023 23:28

HermioneKipper · 25/04/2023 23:03

Good idea, best butt out of all things that don’t affect me.

Screw helping people in poverty, screw caring about those in need of mental health support and not getting it, forget anyone can’t afford to feed their family.

I have an interest and care about many things, particularly women and children.

I really hope they will be wonderful parents, it’s happening, it would be unconscionable to hope anything else. But they shouldn’t be able to exploit a woman’s body for their own gain. No one should

Ridiculous comment.

Show quote history

I imagine the surrogate would find it quite offensive you constantly referring to her as just a body, as if she doesn't have thoughts, feelings and a personality, and has decided to do this of her own accord.

Presumably you divorced your husband for impregnating you and risking your life, as childbirth is very dangerous... Or did you consent to the pregnancy? Like the surrogate did?

SummerLovingDays · 25/04/2023 23:30

thebellagio · 25/04/2023 20:32

can I ask a question?

people on here hate surrogacy saying it’s because it rips a child from its mother, and everything it’s known for 9 months. Then these same people happily suggest adoption instead.

can I respectfully ask how it’s literally any different? because if it’s a private adoption from birth surely that’s exactly the same situation (think Monica/chandler in friends)

or adoption via social services over here is an entirely different ballpark with significant trauma that needs to be dealt with. As does foster care.

It's different because you are not intentionally creating a situation where a baby will not have its birth mother.
With surrogacy a baby is created with the intend that it will not have biological parents because someone 'wants and can afford to pay for a baby'

SummerLovingDays · 25/04/2023 23:32

Londongal123 · 25/04/2023 20:48

I can't believe how homophobic mumsnet is. All these crazy ladies typing behind a keyboard shit they wouldn't say to their neighbour.

How is advocating for the rights and needs of a baby homophobic?

SummerLovingDays · 25/04/2023 23:35

Jazsimone · 25/04/2023 21:03

@HermioneKipper

I'm sure your gay "friends" would be interested at your narrow minded pitiful excuse of reasoning for surrogacy.

Maybe ask them round to discuss it, I'm sure the room will empty pretty quickly.

Woman are offering surrogacy, they are not pinned down and forced. They CHOOSE to do it.

What is not clear to you?

Oh the old classic line 'women choose'.
Please. Educate yourself on surrogacy.