Made in Chelsea blokes - twins via surrogate

[HermioneKipper]

More “celebs” commissioning a woman’s body to buy a baby.

When is this going to be made illegal 😡

And twins again. So many of them have twins. I think I get a bit triggered by this especially as I have twins and know how dangerous twin pregnancy can be for both mother and babies. And what it does to a woman’s body. No one could consent to this.

Had to switch off Giovanna Fletcher and her simpering podcast when they started talking about “their” miscarriages. Horrific amounts of bleeding, pain and horrendous wrenching emotional pain for you was it mates? No, didn’t think so.

Yep! What a poor vulnerable poster you are. Did you realise you are the same as a prostitute?

Betting all surrogacy haters will ignore your post too.

What about women who breastfeed other women’s babies? I personally think that’s incredible but that’s probably the same as prostitution on here.

And donated breast milk! Is a baby who consumed that forever traumatised by not meeting the woman who donated that milk?

Perfectly said.

The Guardian did a piece on the stranded surrogate babies when the war started: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jun/15/the-stranded-babies-of-kyiv-and-the-women-who-give-birth-for-money

I do struggle with the concept of monetising a child's life. Can it be a human right, when 50 years ago it was impossible?

And of course, there are horror stories (warning CSA):

https://www.smh.com.au/national/couple-offered-son-to-paedophiles-20130630-2p5eg.html

Great reasons to regulate surrogacy more, but not evidence that altruistic, fully-consenting surrogacy does not exist nor a justification for banning surrogacy completely.

@sugarspices by that argument should women be donating their supply of eggs, as it is better that they represent a person alive rather than be lost via a period

Change biology so babies don't need a mum?

Yes, I would. My sister has severe endometriosis and is likely to struggle with her fertility. We have been through infertility ourselves so I’m aware of the impact fertility issues on a couple; and if there was anything I could do to stop someone else going through that I would.

My best friend has a physical condition which makes pregnancy dangerous, and again I’d carry for her.

Would I do it for a stranger? No.

And as foe the increased risks - I think you are being disingenuous here. Correlation does not equal causation. Of course those who are using someone else’s egg have increased risks - the vast majority of people who are using someone else’s eggs have suboptimal fertility (as in, most people use donor eggs on an infertility basis rather than surrogacy) - the risks of ANY type of IVF are greater than a “natural” pregnancy.

Though slightly more seriously:

The best way for gay men to be dads is to co-parent with a lesbian couple who they are friends with.
If they don't have any women friends, I'd seriously question whether they are suitable parents.

I was thinking the same. That way they could both have a child they are biologically related to.

Pregnancy and birth are relatively low-risk situations in the UK. I have also had several miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies, an emergency c section and a planned c section, and at no point was my life or limb ever at any significant risk. There are only one or two people in the world I’d take that small risk for though.

I guess - having lost many, many babies - I do not bond with a baby before it is born at all. I remain pretty detached until the baby is actually born. I didn’t even get upset at losing a baby after the first few, to be honest. I do think my detachment might make this easier than for the average woman.

It has to be said that most people wouldn’t want to use me as a surrogate anyway as there is a fairly high chance my body would fuck it up anyway 😂

Nobody is forcing the surrogate to do it, they do a choice

@KimberleyClark I'm an adopter and I'm on an adoption group that is seriously worried about the ethics of adoption too (especially in the US) and the cry of "but what about gay couples, how homophobic of you" comes up regularly and the adult adoptees (and donor conceived adults) all say that co-parenting is really the best ethical option.

@toomuchlaundry I'll be honest I have no idea how you've made that giant leap - but obviously not. Women are welcome to donate their eggs if they choose. An egg is not a human life.

Oh, yes, just like the poorest people in the world who are selling their children to whoever, because they can't afford to feed them.... Yep they're choosing that.

Do you honestly believe that 100% of women doing surrogacy are not in any way vulnerable?

You can't imagine why a woman who is desperate might choose this? And you're going to have the gall to turn around to that woman when it all goes wrong and shes permanently injured from birth.... "no one forced you love..."

You'd be happy if this was the path your daughter chose? To be a surrogate mother for a stranger for money?

They need to accept that it's a physical impossibility for them to have a biological child unless they make an arrangement to have one with a lesbian couple. There's also adoption and fostering.

No one is entitled to a child. I find it sickening that you think men can buy a baby and rent a woman's womb. What kind of person thinks another human being can be bought and sold like a commodity?

She never even mentioned gay people. Also, lesbians are also gay people and can have biological children of their own quite easily.

It's weird that you think having a biological child is some kind of right. It's not. No one is entitled to a child. And the OP already stated she's against surrogacy for any reason, a person's sexuality has nothing to do with it.

they need a sperm donor. Surely that is just as unethical.

A lot of people would argue it is a right actually.

@Newnamenewname109870 but it isn’t.

Your opinion.

Does open adoption in the USA make other adoption unethical?

This pregnancy with twins was done in the UK. London Women’s Clinic I think. The surrogate is English & lives in England. She also got in touch with them & said she wanted to help rather than through an agency etc like in the US.

Do you really think using a woman for her womb for a whole 9 months is the same as wanking into a tub?