Older men expecting you to move

[Miloticc]

…And getting furious when you don’t??
Is it just me? Men keep getting really angry at me when I won’t move out the way or let them into traffic, etc. A few examples:

This morning I didn’t let an older gentleman in a Range Rover filter into traffic from a junction, because the car behind me was already yielding for him. He was beeping, swearing and flashing his lights like crazy at me 😳

The other day an older man in a van tried to force his way in front of me in a lane merge (when there was no gap in front of me and no cars behind me) and was absolutely seething that I didn’t just stop and let him do it.

I had a man in about his 60’s (not old by any means, so capable of waiting with the rest of us) try and step in front of me in a bus queue and was livid when I wouldn’t make space for him and he had to go to the back. He actually shoved me.

When I walk down the street everyone kind of weaves around each other but I’ve noticed men that are older than me (I’m in my 30’s) will try and walk right through me, expecting me to jump out their way.

Obviously not all men, but enough that I’m really noticing it. More so now than when I was in my early 20’s! They stay calm if they get their own way, but if I dare to stand my ground they go from 0-100

YABU - Just move and let them get on with it
YANBU - It shouldn’t make them so angry

I experienced dreadful rudeness on a motorway in Belgium last year. The man in the other car raised his middle finger at me as he overtook me, as I had clearly not changed lanes quick enough for his liking.

I was so shocked I laughed out loud so my kids asked what was funny.

Bizarrely, he then completely slowed down, so I ended up overtaking him, and we all smiled and waved at him as we did so. It gave me great satisfaction 😌 as he clearly didn't know how to react.

YANBU

I read a thing a few years ago that subconsciously women make way for men even walking in the street, if a man is striding towards you most of us will give way. Once I thought about this I really noticed it. I experimented with not moving and honestly a lot of men would be right up against me before they would realised I wasn’t moving and step aside themselves.

I’ve been verbally abused and spoken to like shit by men at work (not colleagues) and abused by male drivers when I toot them for cutting me up, things I know for a fact they’d never have done to another man.

A lot of men are just total arseholes sadly

It’s men who shoo you out of the way that get me. I’ll bet they don’t shoo other men out of their way. One did it yesterday as he got off the bus. I was standing beside it, not in the way of the door, and he could have gone round me but no.

Brilliant!

I was going to comment patriarchy chicken but seen someone has beat me to it!
Trued it once. Was stationary at a bust stop, didn't move for guy on phone walking straight at me and ended up bring knocked into the road (and sworn at).
Sadly, not wanting a repeat of that experience, I still move for the pavement owning men.

Another one my friend plays is patriarchy bowling. When she's on a train with a suitcase and men are manspreading into the aisle, instead of constantly stopping and apologising, she just walks straight on and bangs legs/rolls over feet.

Hah and these younger women wouldn't even look at them anyway.

I was given wonderful advice (by a man!) 30 odd years ago when I was complaining about this very thing. 1. Never make eye contact (they'll assume you haven't seen them) and 2. Imagine yourself much taller and look above their eyeline when walking in the street. I'm a short 53 year old woman and thus invisible, but I swear 90% of men swerve before I do.

Why do people do this on motorways? Is it just a game to get round people and then go slower? Are they bored? I never understand it.

I think what you are driving also makes a huge difference - I’ve gone from driving an old 4x4 to a small electric car .. I now have lots of people tail gating me.

I tend to find inconsiderate driving comes from drivers in all shapes and sizes

Yes, they either don't see you or expect you to move. I had the distinct displeasure of having two British blokes (looked like father/ late 50s and son/20s) barge their way in front of me in a security queue in an airport in Germany where I was standing with a baby in a sling + hand luggage, this was about 5 years ago. They were so busy acting busy and wrapped in their IMPORTANT CONVERSATION that they didn't even hear me calling them arseholes, the rest of the queue did though and laughed. The look on their faces was priceless as they could tell they were being laughed at.

That experience was such a stark contrast to a group of young Irish lads on my way back to Germany who were just so observant and helpful.

Mine too. 'Older' men I have never had issues with. It's mostly parents with small children.

I get men tailgating me to make me go faster . Nope . Men never women . It doesn't happen to my hb . They can see it a woman they can see in you in your wing mirrors

I'm not upset by it, just pointing out the issues.

You've said it's only older men you experience it from, not teenagers and not women.

Lots of posters have said they also experience it from teenagers and from women.

So that maybe suggests it isn't a particular issue with older men and an issue of some people of both sexes and all ages being rude assholes.

So singling out a sex and an age demographic is sexist and ageist. And sexism and ageism matter.

You worded it fine, don't be bullied into tiptoeing around when you post, everyone knew what you meant in your OP when you used older, if you hadn't have used older the post would have been quite different 😀

Small dick energy - love this saying

I don't think I've experienced this much on pavements but it might be because I'm from London so I developed a fast and firm walk quite young.

OMG God OP yes.

I get this in the supermarket a lot.

Men expect me to out of the way, and if I move, for example, to the left, they get angry because they wanted me to move away to the right!

I've had a man shove my trolley at me because I didn't move in the right direction. It's male entitlement on an epic level.

@FictionalCharacter I was going to mention this too! I pointed out to my DH that men are less likely to move over for me in the street than they are for him, and experimented with not moving over (while I was with DH, so he could see) and it really happens. I have also noticed that if there is a man and a woman walking together towards me (like on a park path) it's almost always the woman who will move over to make space to pass.

Don't get me started on the swimming lane thing, absolutely boils my piss the number of men that cannot accept that I am the faster swimmer and should be allowed to pass them at the ends 🙄

Anecdotes aren't facts

Of course anecdotes are facts. I found this definition: a short, interesting or funny story about a real person or event. I accept that most of these experiences aren't funny but they are interesting.
^^
^^
^^
^^
^^

In slow moving traffic don't all courteous drivers let a couple of people out of side turnings or leave junctions clear, even if they don't have to, so other drivers can get in or out? Similarly with letting people across in front of you if it's obvious they need to be on the one side of the lane or other for a junction and it's safe to do so?

I've never particularly noticed older men trying to barge their way into the main road. It does happen, of course, some drivers are really bad. But it's subjective. You might think I (a middle aged woman) am barging in front of you whereas I would describe it more as edging out and expecting you to let me on the grounds you'll have to pull out at some point in your life, and possibly even 15 minutes down the road.

What I notice much more is drivers of either sex who aren't paying attention so dozily block a side turning or sometimes deliberately block it to thwart you in some way that obviously makes them feel good.

FFS this is not the time for #NAMALT.

Come back when men aren't responsible for 97% of violent attacks.

She is allowed to state her experience. Nothing about her post is ageist.

I don’t know if it’s an older man thing but I’ve had a few experiences!

The one that springs to mind happened with a younger man (I was only late 20s at the time and he must have been younger). I’m disabled and was slowly making my way across a zebra crossing outside the local Tesco (from the disabled bays) and said young man decided he wanted to walk diagonally across it to get to his car quicker and, when I kept going straight over the crossing and forced him to weave around me, loudly said “if I walked that slowly I would shoot myself” to his companion. It was just so shocking I didn’t respond in time but I wish I’d given him a piece of my mind!

These reactions from men are just funny. You should relish it and troll them even more. Give them a big smile and thumbs up as they drive past or just go really slow in front of them to annoy them even more 😚

I agree a lot of men are particularly bad at this, but I do think a big car changes some people.

Unfortunately the school run Mum’s in their big cars are not great at DD's school.

Access to the junior school and the 6th form car park is up a windy steep hill with cars parked either side, so in the morning at the time the 6th form are coming up the hill, the parents are leaving from junior school drop off.

So young girls in small cars coming up the hill frequently come face to face with very large 4x4s driven by the junior school mums going down the hill - guess which group are speeding in the middle of the road beeping and demanding the others make way for them?! (Even though I'm pretty sure the Highway Code says you should give way to cars coming up a hill)

God help their precious daughters when they get to 6th form!!