Older men expecting you to move

[Miloticc]

…And getting furious when you don’t??
Is it just me? Men keep getting really angry at me when I won’t move out the way or let them into traffic, etc. A few examples:

This morning I didn’t let an older gentleman in a Range Rover filter into traffic from a junction, because the car behind me was already yielding for him. He was beeping, swearing and flashing his lights like crazy at me 😳

The other day an older man in a van tried to force his way in front of me in a lane merge (when there was no gap in front of me and no cars behind me) and was absolutely seething that I didn’t just stop and let him do it.

I had a man in about his 60’s (not old by any means, so capable of waiting with the rest of us) try and step in front of me in a bus queue and was livid when I wouldn’t make space for him and he had to go to the back. He actually shoved me.

When I walk down the street everyone kind of weaves around each other but I’ve noticed men that are older than me (I’m in my 30’s) will try and walk right through me, expecting me to jump out their way.

Obviously not all men, but enough that I’m really noticing it. More so now than when I was in my early 20’s! They stay calm if they get their own way, but if I dare to stand my ground they go from 0-100

YABU - Just move and let them get on with it
YANBU - It shouldn’t make them so angry

😂

I really appreciate your input! I’d much rather avoid being sexist or ageist so I’m happy to be taught what is/isn’t appropriate to say.

I am glad that I posted in the first place because I’ve found learning from all the different posters really insightful and it’s nice to feel like I’m not alone.

But if there’s a way I could’ve worded it better I’m open to hearing it and I can accept that (also sorry for assuming you were upset) 😊

I'm glad you responded to my comment like that. I genuinely haven't experienced what posters here are describing - rudeness from time to time but who hasn't? Certainly not confined to a particular demographic though.

I always think ‘oh for the overconfidence of the mediocre middle aged man’. Men just think they are masters of the universe don’t they? Pisses me right off.

Stating the facts of your own experience isn't discriminatory. There's always a small herd of MNers who love to whataboutaway every observation of male behaviour, whether its a personal recount or nationwide data.

Try saying "drivers"

Oh here we go... 🙄

I changed from a convertible car to a hatchback model of the exact same car, & suddenly all the swearing, 'get out of my way', bad overtaking (all from men) vanished, never to be repeated. Jealousy of someone having a convertible? Or maybe they assumed the hatchback was driven by a guy, because it was famous for having heavy steering & being a bloke's car. Little did they know I had a rare version with power steering.😂

Then I bought an insanely pretty little car & in the first month one bloke leaned out of his window as I turned right at a crossroads & spat on my windscreen (if the windscreen hadn't been there it would've been in my face), while another man saw me hesitating at a flooded bit of country road & rather than letting me reverse into a side road & go back the way I'd come, sped up & went through the water in his 4x4 before I could get out of the way. I only just had time to wind the window up, & the water was so deep that the spray-deluge he caused was the height of my car as he went by. Twat.

Yep. Mine were all men. I might whinge about female pedestrians in a minute. This is not a thread for arguing about ageism or sexism - anyone who wants that argument, please take it elsewhere because this is an entertaining thread & your posts are dull.

all the drivers thanked me today apart from the older gent in the four by four!

another old gent forced me, when walking, to walk in the mud as he kept in his straight line

I see your point (hence voting YANBU), but similarly I see the exact same with a lot of older women.

For example, if I’m in a shop and someone is arguing with the till operator or a member of staff, 9 times out of 10 it’s an “older” woman who is being particularly nasty and rude.

In my years of working in retail I only ever had 2 rude male customers (of which were in their 40s and 60s). The rest were all women who were any age between 40 and 60. Had one of these every week as a minimum. And it was always about stuff which

1. the staff member could do nothing about
2. that was their own fault to begin with

ie showing up hours later when a service offered in store closed at a certain time (which is well sign posted in store, outside the store and online), or bringing an item back for a refund with no receipt, no proof of purchase at all, no ability to tell you the day and a rough time they were in at (so you could even try and find the sale to refund them) and it was an item which is sold in every single food retailer in the UK (ie something like Twinings Earl Gray tea bags).

It’s not everyone of course but it isn’t just middle aged men who are rude, unfortunately.

Honestly this is exactly what happened to me! I can’t understand the logic of it. It really feels like he was just fuming that I, a woman, was in front of him 😳

He was probably a shitty driver who would have behaved that way regardless of who was in front of him. You have no idea if it was because you are female or if was because he's just a crap driver.

Aged 22 a man physically picked me up and placed me in the road instead of just moving slightly to the side so we could pass each other.

In my area it’s young people walking 2+ abreast on the pavement who expect you to move. If you don’t they will literally walk into you.

With drivers it’s middle-aged men, usually in vans.

Of course every age group has its arseholes, every gender can be rude. But men taking up a lot of space and really not coping if you don't allow them to take up yours is a thing. I have literally been barged off a pavement by a man seemingly unable to take one step to the left, more than once.

As a general rule, people tend to be nicer to you when you are a younger woman, and/or if you have small children with you.

OP you are not being ageist or sexist. A lot of older men are though.

Absolutely agree

Any age is a good age I used to do this regularly - part of my small effort to educate the male. I was younger and better-looking but, to offset that, worked in Canary Wharf which was teeming with arrogant wankers. Crashed into a lot of angry dickheads.

I'm so good at walking like I own the pavement now, I do it most of the time. But where I live now is mostly old folks like me or young women with DC. I obviously veer over for them! The last person to have a real go at me was a hip dude aged about 20. I gave him a weary eyebrow and said "Manners!" Happy to report it infuriated him even more.

Me too!

Because there’s been so many posts about car types I will say, that I drive a small car that looks feminine and most the time people have seen me at the window/wingmirror before they’ve started honking and shouting

In my 20's, an older man at work (not a colleague of mine, didn't know him from Adam) came up behind me & took what he thought was my purse out of my unzipped shoulder bag. Then showed it to me & told me what he'd done & said this was to teach me not to leave my bag open because anybody could steal my purse.

How f*ing rude & intrusive - the cheek of it infuriated me. Joke would've been on him if he'd opened my 'purse', though, as it was the little bag I used to hold my - ahem - feminine requisites. My money purse was safely buried in the bottom of my bag.

Yeah, this or if you express any disagreement with them about anything. I love to just stop in front of them and look them right in the eye with a smirk before slowly moving off. It drives them NUTS. Stupid little idiots.

I have just driven to the tip. 10 minute drive. Have had 2 incidents, both men in their 60s/70s.
On my street, there is a priority traffic sign. My priority, he sped up and same through the traffic calming, outside a school, rather than wait a few seconds, I was almost going through before he reached his giveaway line. I flashed and pointed to the sign.
Going to the top, it's a 10 mph limit, ok so no one sticks to that, but people go slow, the car in front of me already cut me up at the roundabout, overtook the car in front of him. On a speedbump, the crunch his car made was satisfying

I always remember walking along a fairly narrow pavement, albeit next to a quiet road, coming towards me two older men talking to each other, as they approached it was obvious that they weren't going to fall into single file, without one of us stepping in the road. "Well that ain't going to be me" thought I, so we ended up inching round each other in a ludicrous manner with them huffing and puffing!

@Bloodsweatntears if I was on my own as a single woman, I don't think I would stop either unless it was obvious there was distress or first aid required - I'm too conscious of my own safety and wouldn't put myself in that position - I know it's unlikely you've got 2 chaps hiding in the bushes waiting to kidnap me or carjack my runaround, but I'm careful.

I have stopped more than once but not got
out of the car, and asked through a window with doors locked if someone was ok or needed help to phone someone. Each time they were fine and just waiting on the AA.

So NAMALT isn't ok but whataboutery is?

This!

what a strange post. We’d all be up in arms if a similar one was made about women.

personally, this is not something I’ve ever noticed. Where I live (London suburb) men are generally helpful and friendly. Where I’m from (Ireland) pretty much the same.