Older men expecting you to move

[Miloticc]

…And getting furious when you don’t??
Is it just me? Men keep getting really angry at me when I won’t move out the way or let them into traffic, etc. A few examples:

This morning I didn’t let an older gentleman in a Range Rover filter into traffic from a junction, because the car behind me was already yielding for him. He was beeping, swearing and flashing his lights like crazy at me 😳

The other day an older man in a van tried to force his way in front of me in a lane merge (when there was no gap in front of me and no cars behind me) and was absolutely seething that I didn’t just stop and let him do it.

I had a man in about his 60’s (not old by any means, so capable of waiting with the rest of us) try and step in front of me in a bus queue and was livid when I wouldn’t make space for him and he had to go to the back. He actually shoved me.

When I walk down the street everyone kind of weaves around each other but I’ve noticed men that are older than me (I’m in my 30’s) will try and walk right through me, expecting me to jump out their way.

Obviously not all men, but enough that I’m really noticing it. More so now than when I was in my early 20’s! They stay calm if they get their own way, but if I dare to stand my ground they go from 0-100

YABU - Just move and let them get on with it
YANBU - It shouldn’t make them so angry

That particular exaggerated shuffle is exclusive to SOME men, yes.

Lots of people can get in a middle and accidentally step to the same side as each other, but it’s a certain sort of man (and we all know it when we see it) who will deliberately shuffle the way you are going, and laugh about it, to make your life harder.

I take weird pleasure in deliberating smashing elbows with people who make zero effort to move over. The look of surprise on their faces is priceless.

Not really public spirited, I just want a clear road to drive on! Tell you what, if it happens I'll name it after you, though 'Limited Period Only Car Park' is going to confuse the heck out of people.

... or do it several times & expect it to make you laugh &/or talk to them.

One did the multiple this-way-that-way thing to me & it just made me angry. I didn't say anything, just walked away - but he said to me something like, "It won't help, making that sort of a face." WTF? What business is it of yours, you time-wasting tosser?

And yes, only ever men. Never had a woman do it to me.

@ifIwerenotanandroid hang on a minute. I want to make sure residents can park there free for as long as they like so the name is going to be a problem. We'll name it after you instead.

You've just described what I do! It's old-fashioned good manners, surely?

@limitedperiodonly I don't think 'Android Car Park' will be any less confusing.

Real names could be tricky when spoken about, e.g. "I'll meet you in Jane Bloggs," or "I got fined for being in Jane Bloggs too long," or, "I wish to complain to the Council that Jane Bloggs is looking very tatty & uncared-for these days".

I'll stay anonymous, thanks.

Yesss this!! Makes such sense.

It can be decided so quickly too, almost below the level of conscious thinking.

I think it’s what I already do actually, when I think about the people I move aside for without even thinking about it - I would come off better in a collision. It’s just instinctive.

Need to work on holding my course when it’s people who’d come off better than me though 😂

During covid I did readily move out of the way first but this was because I wasn’t too worried about the risk myself and would rather give space early to reassure others I was no threat, and also to avoid the reactions of those who did panic at proximity outdoors

I would always meekly move out of the way, now men actually move so they are in my path and I get to play patriarchy chicken. Mid 40's and if they don't see value in my existence I sure as hell see even less value in theirs

In my experience some men like to take their anger out on women in public when they think they can get away with it. They'd never do it to a man or if the woman is with a man. If they think they can make you cower, they'll do it.

Also stop with the car generalisations. It's inaccurate and annoying. I had to hire a car at the last minute and it was a large 4X4 as that was all they had. Some of the reactions were not pleasant.

Had a youngster tut at me for walking too slowly up some stairs coming out of a railway station , he sprinted round me so I shouted - just you wait youth you will be like me one day . He just said never , laughed and ran off .