Older men expecting you to move

[Miloticc]

…And getting furious when you don’t??
Is it just me? Men keep getting really angry at me when I won’t move out the way or let them into traffic, etc. A few examples:

This morning I didn’t let an older gentleman in a Range Rover filter into traffic from a junction, because the car behind me was already yielding for him. He was beeping, swearing and flashing his lights like crazy at me 😳

The other day an older man in a van tried to force his way in front of me in a lane merge (when there was no gap in front of me and no cars behind me) and was absolutely seething that I didn’t just stop and let him do it.

I had a man in about his 60’s (not old by any means, so capable of waiting with the rest of us) try and step in front of me in a bus queue and was livid when I wouldn’t make space for him and he had to go to the back. He actually shoved me.

When I walk down the street everyone kind of weaves around each other but I’ve noticed men that are older than me (I’m in my 30’s) will try and walk right through me, expecting me to jump out their way.

Obviously not all men, but enough that I’m really noticing it. More so now than when I was in my early 20’s! They stay calm if they get their own way, but if I dare to stand my ground they go from 0-100

YABU - Just move and let them get on with it
YANBU - It shouldn’t make them so angry

@Brokenmiata not all of us are as assertive as you, but thanks for your advice.

Ooh that reminds me - 38 weeks pregnant and went to cross a single lane while standing on a raised pavement thingy in the middle of the lanes. The road was quiet with a bmw about 50m away from me - plenty of time to cross a single lane.

As soon as I stepped off, he deliberately revved and sped up so I would rush across the road - which I did, tripping and tearing my jeans and gouging my knee on a broken pavement.

Even the people who helped me up saw that he sped up deliberately. That cost me 3 hours in ante-natal getting sodding anti-d treatment. And I was lucky at that, I could have easily gone into labour had I landed on my belly, according to the midwife.

I hope that driver has an utterly miserable life and has nothing else joyful in it but his precious fucking car.

Maybe he would be thinking the same thing?

II generally find that avoiding eye contact works better - when I pretend not to have noticed the approaching pavement blockade they generally dodge out of the way at the last second.

I don't understand the psychology but maybe it's akin to the people who look you straight in the eye in their car and then pull out right in front of you forcing you to do emergency braking.

@Igmum do it. It’s so liberating.

Yep. I get this all the time too.

Older male BMW drivers are the worst, although generally anyone in a BMW can be relied on to be a dick.

Not sure what this is meant to prove? So some men were kind to you once and now no woman can ever talk about her overall experience with men?

Blimey what a little s…
Anyone like that will always live a bitter friendless life.🤞

My favourite is men who can’t bear to drive behind me, overtake, then find the bus up front which they can’t get passed and is why I wasn’t going particularly fast in the first place. Love waving at them when I invariably catch them up.

Aah yes that old chestnut. Way to generalise. Well done.

I stopped moving aside for men and it was really eye opening. So many of them plough on and are so confused when I don't automatically yield.

👏Completely agree. Too many doormats around. Assert yourselves more. Feels great when you do!

🤣🤣🤣
not at all

Women can talk about whatever they like.
I didn’t say anything to criticise their experiences or to stop them posting.
Nor was I rude about their opinions or experiences.

Older male BMW drivers are the worst, although generally anyone in a BMW can be relied on to be a dick.

@horseyhorsey17 I used to drive different cars for my job. The week I had a BMW it was like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde every time I turned the ignition.

I don't do that job any more. What's yours? Psychologist?

Yes! I had this today I has right of way as my side of the road was clear and a man in his 50s was very annoyed that I had gone away through and he had to wait. I actually wondered if perhaps he was a new driver.

There was someone (male) on our local Nextdoor site complaining that an older person had complained at him for taking up the whole pavement as he was walking along holding the hands of his two children - one of whom was 9. I'm sorry, but at that age he could easily have got the child to walk ahead for a few steps allowing the other person to pass safely! I did it with mine at a much younger age.
I do refuse to move out of the way of people with their heads glued to their phones. Make eye contact and I'm happy to adjust my position so we can pass each other.

I can’t say I have this issue with older men in particular, but just with everyone. Regardless of age or gender, if you’re rude, you’re rude.
This morning, I couldn’t enter a roundabout as some woman, probably in her thirties, decided to pull across the section of road with KEEP CLEAR written in big, fuck off capitals. The younger guy in the dreaded bmw behind her gladly waited at the line and let us out once she finally crawled forward. She was the tosspot there.
I would say I come across various idiots in a day. I try not to let them get to me. I figure they’re either having a bad day and wouldn’t normally do said idiotic thing or they’re such arseholes they couldn’t give a shit what I think anyways.
Occasionally I’m also having a bad day and make my displeasure known and they probably think I’m a prick. Such is life

TBH @Miloticc I clicked on this thinking it was going to be more salacious!

First time I read it, I thought you meant 'Make a move' ( as in 'come on to them') but I still wondered if it was about thrusting your hips or doing unspeakable things to them.

I had one of those angry men pull into me from the middle lane whilst I was travelling at speed in the fast lane on the M6 - it was yield or have an almighty crash - it wasn’t even a case of refusing to let them cut me up, they just did it. Still shocked it happened - the worst game of enforced chicken.

also happened on my way to my c-section when I was in the overtaking lane on a dual carriage way - saw I was a woman and sped up and forced me into the hashing: so many angry men

I play chicken on my way in and out of work a few days a week. It is mostly along a canal bank which is a busy walkway before and after work hours. I just spend my time watching the birds, ducks etc - everything apart from the people walking towards me and never make eye contact. Very rarely do I have to move aside but you do get the odd grumpy fucker growling at you for not clearing the path for their very important selves.

This pavement thing is weird - do people not stick to the left*? Avoids this weird flexing then…

So strange. I’m picturing all these women walking in the middle of the pavement B-road shouldered like bouncers.

just walk normally, and either move to the side for someone if you see them or they move for you. It’s really not something I give much thought.

Not in the large city I’ve lived in my whole life. People mill around all over the place

YANBU!

There was a man on my doorstep (I live in a flat below a temporary rental) trying to figure out the lockbox and blocking the doorway. I said excuse me quietly as I stood in the rain with my dog and my young baby, no response. I said it louder and he said angrily back to me, “it wouldn’t hurt for you to wait in
the rain for a few minutes.” The point is there was plenty of space for us both and had he moved out of the way he could’ve got into the building after me, out of the rain. I pointed this out and he said, “I’m managing fine by myself, THANK YOU!” Sure just let me and my little baby get wet outside.

There are lots of kind men I notice who offer to help with my pram (I’m always on my own as I’m a solo parent). But I have noticed more of this kind of dominance and bullying behaviour especially on the roads which worries me with my little girl in the car.

I think this government and the spate of misogynistic rhetoric online is making things worse. I also think there is an expectation for us to look pretty and if we don’t then “what is the point of us.” I’ll be raising my girl to ignore this.

LOL