Older men expecting you to move

[Miloticc]

…And getting furious when you don’t??
Is it just me? Men keep getting really angry at me when I won’t move out the way or let them into traffic, etc. A few examples:

This morning I didn’t let an older gentleman in a Range Rover filter into traffic from a junction, because the car behind me was already yielding for him. He was beeping, swearing and flashing his lights like crazy at me 😳

The other day an older man in a van tried to force his way in front of me in a lane merge (when there was no gap in front of me and no cars behind me) and was absolutely seething that I didn’t just stop and let him do it.

I had a man in about his 60’s (not old by any means, so capable of waiting with the rest of us) try and step in front of me in a bus queue and was livid when I wouldn’t make space for him and he had to go to the back. He actually shoved me.

When I walk down the street everyone kind of weaves around each other but I’ve noticed men that are older than me (I’m in my 30’s) will try and walk right through me, expecting me to jump out their way.

Obviously not all men, but enough that I’m really noticing it. More so now than when I was in my early 20’s! They stay calm if they get their own way, but if I dare to stand my ground they go from 0-100

YABU - Just move and let them get on with it
YANBU - It shouldn’t make them so angry

*if it happens

Older men definitely move at the last minute when it comes to walking on a pavement. I almost always stand my ground. The trick is to wear big headphones and sunglasses (weather/time of day permitting). I do move for the elderly (75+ ballpark), disabled people and people walking with small children. That said, if I see someone that I know has given way to me on my regular dog walking loop then I do give way half of the time.

One of the main reasons I really don't move for anyone else is because lots of people seem to need you to move twice as far away since the lockdowns. I just can't be arsed with how OTT some people are - walking on grass verges etc when the path is wide enough for two.

They're generally not old though, well not older than me. In the City it's predominately men aged 25-45 standing outside pubs blocking the whole pavement when you're trying to get to the station to go home.

I find the opposite. They make a big song and dance out of letting you out and 'after you Darlin' -ing you when on foot.

This!!

I had this recently doing laps in the pool on holiday. I would jump into an empty pool and start swimming my laps and without fail some complete knobber would appear right in my path. Often he would encourage his dc to join him, also in my path. If I moved to the other side of the pool to complete my laps, they would also need to move or alternatively decide to play ball across the pool so I would have to swim between them (which he also didn’t seem to like).

I ranted to dh and he thought I was imagining it until day 5 when I again had the pool to myself. Knobber had been quietly reading but again decided he’d now quite like to go and stand in the centre of the pool which is what he did. After watching me try and swim around or avoid the man to no avail because he was clearly deliberately getting in my way, dh decided to join me for a few laps even though he hates swimming. Funnily enough, knobber immediately fucked off.

I deliberately swam early so as not to disrupt the kids playing and the pool was honestly empty so I have no idea why he couldn’t seem to stand the thought of me having it to myself.

That's not as good a point as I suspect it sounded in your head.

I'm a 5ft 4in woman and fine on both pavements and roads. But I am a boomer so maybe my walking and driving wouldn't come up to your husband's exacting standards no matter what his height or age is.

I'm very short. I've been invisible to other pedestrians most of my life, I don't think it got worse when middle aged. However I started noticing it as I got older. I'd be muttering "am I invisible nob head" when getting out of the way, which changed to me not getting out of (able bodied young pramless) people's way several years ago. My tall broad husband thinks I've gone mad and apologises for me. To strangers. Who think I should get out of their way. I am going to re-educate him.

Although equally.
The two times that I was pregnant, first 1child, second twins. If anyone stood up at all on London tubes it was the men.
Very very occasionally a young women 20ish
Never an older than 20ish woman.

An entire WI carriage pretended I didn’t exist. Just the lad in the corner gave me a seat, apologising profusely that he hadn’t seen me sooner. WI just talked across me. Old train type with those swinging leather handholds. ( early 20s.)

I don’t expect a seat, my choice to be pregnant in rush hour London, just making the comparison from my experience.

I meant early 2000s

I noticed a marked difference when I went from using the big 2l diesel saloon family car to a little 1l hatchback that's tiny. All those angry little men who seem to be furious that I even dare to be on the road in the same time dimension as them.

Bet they all go home and have angrywanks.

I didn't see that the deference of men in my younger years was linked to attractiveness but as I'm melting into the invisibility of middle age, it's refreshing that I'm no longer subjected to their attention.

I'm glad I didn't know then that all the door-holding or other forms of chivalry were based on how fuckable they thought I was. It would have really freaked me out.

I have just remembered another occasion.
Really touching one.
Heavily pregnant walking down Green Lanes, Tottenham ( busy, cars people shops ) I tripped on a slab outside a ladies hairdressers.
From across the road a group of guys rushed out of the barbers to help me.

I found myself later in the barbers with a cup of tea and lots of concerned men worried about me.
I have Never forgot that. I took Dcs in to see them after they were born and they always gave a wave as I passed.

So I really don’t believe, on reflection, we can categorise people.

In my small city, along with the entitled, usually middle aged men who barge into you, we have students who believe that all locals are scum and expect us to move out of their way. They come charging through in a little group, braying in loud varsity accents or on their phones 🙄 the conversations are something to behold and are invariably boastful and cringeworthy 😂

I've been directly barged into by men and they hurt my shoulder, which I already have problems with.

I just laugh at angry drivers though.

This thread needs a theme song.

People just ain't no good by Nick Cave , perhaps 😂

Exeter?

How would I be needlessly hogging two lanes
Motorway
For example as this is my regular journey
Lots! of trucks 60mph to and from Dover in the slow lane
70mph in the middle Lane, that’s me. If inside lane is free ( 🤣) I’ll move to that but im still doing 70mph.
Fast Lane to my right, ( outside Lane ) anyone that wants to overtake or all the people speeding.
If you find yourself in the lane going slower with trucks and want to go faster you move to the central lane. You should not overtake the person in that lane, that’s dangerous.
You change lanes.

The issue is even worse on variable speed limit motorways as it seems no one can keep to 50mph on a motorway. So even if you’re in the slow lane you re being tailgated at 50mph, feeling forced to undertake adjacent cars. Personally I tap the break in those instances. But that’s another issue.

Ps
Thought I’d tagged someone who a used me of hogging the motorway!!!
Oh well.

People Are Strange, by the Doors?

(Though that works for most MN threads.)

I am a 6' 4" male boomer (several hate figures for the price of one) - I have been shoulder barged out of the way in London, yesterday was being tailgated relentlessly by some bloke in a people carrier despite the fact we were travelling above the speed limit and there was traffic ahead of me. Tools are everywhere but a lot of them are men my age sadly.

I am told that not getting out of men's way is known as Feminism Chicken. As a 50-something who spends her life on pavements dodging and apologising to these Very Important Men when they barge into my space I've often wanted to play this but never had the nerve.

"The issue is even worse on variable speed limit motorways as it seems no one can keep to 50mph on a motorway. So even if you’re in the slow lane you re being tailgated at 50mph, feeling forced to undertake adjacent cars. Personally I tap the break in those instances. But that’s another issue."

Fairly sure that's caused by lorries being speed limited to 56 mph (90 kmh) which is the speed they'll sit at as they won't get a fine for it. The problem is that looks like 60mph on most car speedos.

It's the incompatibility of having limits set in kph for a country that uses mph.

YANBU, people just seem to forget their manners.
We’re both on our sixties and my husband often mutters “I’ll move out of the way shall I?” As other couples don’t drop into single file as we would, they expect us to step off the pavement.

Exactly this!

With driving if its a lane merge its polite to do one left lane one right then left then right and so on, so if you were sat up the car in fronts backside not allowing that gap for the one from the left regardless of what was or wasnt behind you then you are being awkward and rude. If its your right if way with the others having give way lines then its your choice whether to let in or not and stand your ground.

Why are we giving way to men walking at you on the pavement? You keep your head up, make eye contact and continue walk at them if they want to do it to you, they can move and if they don't, just stand there until they do. Absolutely no chance am I bowing down to a pretentious human being who thinks they own the pavement.