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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Have "Told Off" Someone's Child?

274 replies

FooFighter99 · 24/04/2023 16:38

Just trying to gauge opinion but I'm pretty sure I wasn't BU

Walking home from school this afternoon having picked DD up, casually strolling through the estate to get home, chatting with another mum and her kids as they absolutely love our dog when I notice a young boy who's in front of us but walking about 5 paces behind his mum and possibly his older brother, and he's spitting on the floor with every other step Shock

He's obviously got sweets in his mouth as the spit is bright red/pink and we're then having to dodge round it so we don't walk in it (gross) cos it'll be sticky and disgusting and I don't want someone else's spit all over my shoes and/or dogs paws

I said "ew can you stop spitting" in a jokey/normal tone, didn't raise my voice, wasn't angry or confronting, just wanted him to stop spitting on the pavement

His mum turned round and said "did you just tell my kid off?" to which I replied, "well, he's spitting all over the floor" and she responded by telling my to mind my own business and concentrate on my own kid - I responded by pointing out that my child wasn't spitting everywhere... again, didn't raise my voice, didn't get angry or animated but she kept chunnering all the way down the road till they eventually turned off onto their estate

Now, I'm sorry, actually not sorry in the slightest but if my DD had been the one spitting and another mum had pulled her up on it, I would have also told DD off for spitting, not the other mum for saying something

And seriously, spitting is fucking disgusting and she ought to teach her child some manners

OP posts:
Branleuse · 24/04/2023 16:42

You were fine. Its fine to tell someone off for spitting

Valour · 24/04/2023 16:44

I wouldn't have been bothered about spitting tbh.

IamSuperTired · 24/04/2023 16:44

You did the right thing! I've been known to tellmoff other kids! If someone told me children off I'd be mortified they'd acted so badly !

Champagneobsessed · 24/04/2023 16:44

I would also hate to dodge someone’s spit multiple times in front of me. It is disgusting and the way you said it seems fine.

DemonicCaveMaggot · 24/04/2023 16:44

I think you were fine. You didn't even tell him off, just asked him not to spit.

Redebs · 24/04/2023 16:45

You can comment 'ew', but you can't tell kids off for an act that causes less damage to a pavement than, for example, dog pee.

If the kid had been damaging something, then maybe, but drooling? Nope.

Wtfishappeningandwhy · 24/04/2023 16:45

Yanbu.
Mothers like her are raising children that think that no one can tell them off, creating entitled and obnoxious people.

WheelsUp · 24/04/2023 16:46

Yanbu. If it was my child spitting and I couldn't see them doing it then I'd be happy for someone to tell them off.
This is exactly why teachers are leaving the profession in droves.

IamSuperTired · 24/04/2023 16:47

Redebs · 24/04/2023 16:45

You can comment 'ew', but you can't tell kids off for an act that causes less damage to a pavement than, for example, dog pee.

If the kid had been damaging something, then maybe, but drooling? Nope.

Seriously?

NeatCompactSleeper · 24/04/2023 16:48

He shouldn't have been spitting but my first thought would've been that the red/pink was blood, not sweets.

NeatCompactSleeper · 24/04/2023 16:49

Redebs · 24/04/2023 16:45

You can comment 'ew', but you can't tell kids off for an act that causes less damage to a pavement than, for example, dog pee.

If the kid had been damaging something, then maybe, but drooling? Nope.

If you really believed that, you wouldn't have changed 'spitting' to 'drooling'.

Colourmylifewith · 24/04/2023 16:49

Redebs · 24/04/2023 16:45

You can comment 'ew', but you can't tell kids off for an act that causes less damage to a pavement than, for example, dog pee.

If the kid had been damaging something, then maybe, but drooling? Nope.

TB anyone? It’s vile and a risk to public
well done OP

turnthebiglightoff · 24/04/2023 16:50

Spitting is fucking disgusting. You absolutely did the right thing.

Also - spitting is not drooling, to a PP. might want to google the difference!!

Also - another PP must have taught her dog to hold their bladder - well done!!

Malarandras · 24/04/2023 16:52

Obviously spitting is disgusting and wrong. Telling someone else’s child off in front of them is asking for trouble though as you’ve no idea how they will react. Some people can be very bad tempered.

Excited101 · 24/04/2023 16:54

Of course you can tell other people’s kids off, when appropriate- and this was one of those times.

DemonicCaveMaggot · 24/04/2023 16:54

I am trying to decide which is more disgusting to walk in, dog pee or spit.

Hmmmmm.

Nope, both are disgusting, and watching adults spitting up gobs of phlegm all over the pavement is also foul and probably where this boy is headed in about 20 years.

Original poster
FooFighter99 · 24/04/2023 16:55

NeatCompactSleeper · 24/04/2023 16:48

He shouldn't have been spitting but my first thought would've been that the red/pink was blood, not sweets.

Definitely wasn't blood, was too pink and he wasn't distressed as I assume a small child would be if they were spitting that much blood out

~@Redebs he wasn't a baby and was not just drooling, he was purposefully spitting globs of spit on the pavement, I saw him do it 3 or 4 times but who knows how many times he had done it by the time we caught up to them.

It's a disgusting habit which I'm pretty sure you can get fined for.

Couldn't agree more with @Wtfishappeningandwhy and @WheelsUp

OP posts:
JMSA · 24/04/2023 16:55

The mother's attitude pretty much epitomises our society today.

DarkHollowTree · 24/04/2023 16:55

Definitely YANBU! Seeing people's flobs of spit on the ground literally makes me heave 😩IDGAF if it's adult or child spit. Disgusting!

Boomboom22 · 24/04/2023 16:56

Wow who are the 7 nasty scummy parents who think yabu? Seriously?

Blondey2023 · 24/04/2023 16:56

Valour · 24/04/2023 16:44

I wouldn't have been bothered about spitting tbh.

What lovely morals you have

Original poster
FooFighter99 · 24/04/2023 16:57

DemonicCaveMaggot · 24/04/2023 16:54

I am trying to decide which is more disgusting to walk in, dog pee or spit.

Hmmmmm.

Nope, both are disgusting, and watching adults spitting up gobs of phlegm all over the pavement is also foul and probably where this boy is headed in about 20 years.

Our dog pees as close to a wall as she can get, or on the grass verge nearest to school.

Also, dogs have to pee, but kids don't have to spit

OP posts:
Boomboom22 · 24/04/2023 16:57

@Valour so you don't understand how some illnesses spread?

NeatCompactSleeper · 24/04/2023 16:58

Also, dogs have to pee, but kids don't have to spit

This ^^ all day long.

No ifs, no buts.

Blondey2023 · 24/04/2023 16:58

FooFighter99 · 24/04/2023 16:38

Just trying to gauge opinion but I'm pretty sure I wasn't BU

Walking home from school this afternoon having picked DD up, casually strolling through the estate to get home, chatting with another mum and her kids as they absolutely love our dog when I notice a young boy who's in front of us but walking about 5 paces behind his mum and possibly his older brother, and he's spitting on the floor with every other step Shock

He's obviously got sweets in his mouth as the spit is bright red/pink and we're then having to dodge round it so we don't walk in it (gross) cos it'll be sticky and disgusting and I don't want someone else's spit all over my shoes and/or dogs paws

I said "ew can you stop spitting" in a jokey/normal tone, didn't raise my voice, wasn't angry or confronting, just wanted him to stop spitting on the pavement

His mum turned round and said "did you just tell my kid off?" to which I replied, "well, he's spitting all over the floor" and she responded by telling my to mind my own business and concentrate on my own kid - I responded by pointing out that my child wasn't spitting everywhere... again, didn't raise my voice, didn't get angry or animated but she kept chunnering all the way down the road till they eventually turned off onto their estate

Now, I'm sorry, actually not sorry in the slightest but if my DD had been the one spitting and another mum had pulled her up on it, I would have also told DD off for spitting, not the other mum for saying something

And seriously, spitting is fucking disgusting and she ought to teach her child some manners

Well done for speaking up. We need more people to do this. I can imagine what sort of person he will grow up to be with a mum like that 🙄