To Have "Told Off" Someone's Child?

[FooFighter99]

Just trying to gauge opinion but I'm pretty sure I wasn't BU

Walking home from school this afternoon having picked DD up, casually strolling through the estate to get home, chatting with another mum and her kids as they absolutely love our dog when I notice a young boy who's in front of us but walking about 5 paces behind his mum and possibly his older brother, and he's spitting on the floor with every other step

He's obviously got sweets in his mouth as the spit is bright red/pink and we're then having to dodge round it so we don't walk in it (gross) cos it'll be sticky and disgusting and I don't want someone else's spit all over my shoes and/or dogs paws

I said "ew can you stop spitting" in a jokey/normal tone, didn't raise my voice, wasn't angry or confronting, just wanted him to stop spitting on the pavement

His mum turned round and said "did you just tell my kid off?" to which I replied, "well, he's spitting all over the floor" and she responded by telling my to mind my own business and concentrate on my own kid - I responded by pointing out that my child wasn't spitting everywhere... again, didn't raise my voice, didn't get angry or animated but she kept chunnering all the way down the road till they eventually turned off onto their estate

Now, I'm sorry, actually not sorry in the slightest but if my DD had been the one spitting and another mum had pulled her up on it, I would have also told DD off for spitting, not the other mum for saying something

And seriously, spitting is fucking disgusting and she ought to teach her child some manners

Yes let’s raise humans based on how dogs behave and what’s expected of them! 🙄

Surely, the common sense position is, if you don't want random strangers to correct your child's bad behaviour - either because they have special needs or because you think you're the only person with the right to tell them off - then you take care to ensure that you are monitoring and managing their behaviour appropriately so that they are not being a public nuisance.

It's out of order to tell off someone else's child. MYOB.

Spitting is absolutely disgusting. Well done for saying something OP, clearly the mother can't be arsed to teach her child good behaviour and manners.

Did you read the OP? It wasn’t drooling, for goodness sake.
OP you were fine. I’m approaching mid 40s and I tell kids off all the time, much to my own DC’s horror. It’s mostly when I see kids walking around town or crossing roads while looking at their phone. I also told someone to turn their headphones down in the tube yesterday because I didn’t want to listen to their tinny music all the way home. I give not a damn.

I would have no problem if this was my child and you did that

But I would only tell of a child if they were harming an animal, about to run onto a road, climb a fence that is broken so serious things

But you were not shouting or yelling just asking

YANBU. You didn't tell him off anyway but even if you had fine. I don't get these people who think no one else can say anything to their precious little cherubs.

It was fine to tell him to stop spitting.

Why?

I've been known to tell other kids off, if their parents can't/won't I dgaf 🤷 that's disgusting and I'd have done the same 👍

Would you tell an adult to turn their headphones down though? If not, you shouldn't tell a teenager.

Not unreasonable at all, it could have gone on your shoes. Young kids do stuff like this he was probably more experimenting than being vile, but he needed to learn it's unacceptable and affecting other people, with his mum's attitude that's not going to happen. He should have learnt this as a toddler. I hate spit.

Can’t believe there are people who don’t think spitting is a big deal.

It’s absolutely disgusting and extremely anti-social. You would give a wide berth to any adult you saw spitting.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves
Surely, the common sense position is, if you don't want random strangers to correct your child's bad behaviour - either because they have special needs or because you think you're the only person with the right to tell them off - then you take care to ensure that you are monitoring and managing their behaviour appropriately so that they are not being a public nuisance.

☝This with a large flashing neon sign and klaxons attached.

TBH I'm far more likely to tell a strange child's parent off if they're acting out in public.

A while ago I was running down a path used by cars as well as pedestrians. Child suddenly emerges from another path right under my feet and I barely managed to swerve in time and avoid crashing headlong into it. I literally could have been a car, as I shouted at the child's mother ambling unconcerned several paces behind her kid.

Spitting is an absolutely vile & disgusting habit so as long as you didn’t raise your voice you weren’t in the wrong. If someone told my child to stop spitting everywhere I’d agree & tell my child to pack it in.

And yes, I absolutely do speak up to anyone acting in an anti-social manner in a public space, be they adult or child.

Yes, of course, and I have done many times.

If spitting is down to a sensory need what do people do if they are in a public building or somebody’s house?

I remember the signs you used to see in public spaces, "No spitting." I guess people were more aware of TB back in the 50s but I can't stand people spitting, I suppose it was programmed into me early.

I thought you got fined if you were caught spitting in the street. I would say something to the kid and I wouldn’t care if it pissed the mum off. It isn’t fair on her child to let him do stuff that the majority of people think is gross and would judge him for. If she actually parented her child, other people wouldn’t have to.

It takes a village to nip gobby little spitters in the bud. You were being directly impacted by his revoltingness and I'd have said something too. Seeing as his mother couldn't be arsed.

YABU for calling it the floor when it was the ground.

The child may habe additional needs

@Irisandillies

That makes it okay for the child to spit? Aye alright.

Additional needs isn't a hall pass FFS. Let's just ignore everything and let the child do whatever they want to do 'just incase' they have additional needs. Give over!

You can be fined £150 for spitting in a public place.

In every situation, or just in this one? 🤔

I've told other people's kids off loads. I teach children a hobby so I have to, but that "role" never really leaves your mind and if I see someone being a little shit and no parent in sight, I'll call them out.

Soft play is the absolute worst for this. I get that parents always say it's their one chance to sit down and have a coffee etc etc but if your darling seven year old is thumping toddlers in the under 4s section then you better believe they're going to get told off!