To Have "Told Off" Someone's Child?

[FooFighter99]

Just trying to gauge opinion but I'm pretty sure I wasn't BU

Walking home from school this afternoon having picked DD up, casually strolling through the estate to get home, chatting with another mum and her kids as they absolutely love our dog when I notice a young boy who's in front of us but walking about 5 paces behind his mum and possibly his older brother, and he's spitting on the floor with every other step

He's obviously got sweets in his mouth as the spit is bright red/pink and we're then having to dodge round it so we don't walk in it (gross) cos it'll be sticky and disgusting and I don't want someone else's spit all over my shoes and/or dogs paws

I said "ew can you stop spitting" in a jokey/normal tone, didn't raise my voice, wasn't angry or confronting, just wanted him to stop spitting on the pavement

His mum turned round and said "did you just tell my kid off?" to which I replied, "well, he's spitting all over the floor" and she responded by telling my to mind my own business and concentrate on my own kid - I responded by pointing out that my child wasn't spitting everywhere... again, didn't raise my voice, didn't get angry or animated but she kept chunnering all the way down the road till they eventually turned off onto their estate

Now, I'm sorry, actually not sorry in the slightest but if my DD had been the one spitting and another mum had pulled her up on it, I would have also told DD off for spitting, not the other mum for saying something

And seriously, spitting is fucking disgusting and she ought to teach her child some manners

This, good for you OP.

Totally get that if it's an ND or health issue then obviously not the kids fault but you would hope the mum would say something to let OP know if that were the case. It sounds like the mum here just seemed to think there was no issue with it and was upset by someone politely asking him to stop.

I’d have just told her it’s my business if my kids and I have to step in her kids spit and if she spent as much time bringing up her kids with manners as she does arguing with randoms then we wouldn’t be having this problem now would we?

YANBU at all!

Well now you know why her precious child thinks it’s ok to spit all over the pavement. He will grow up to be just as moronic as his mother.

Yanbu it's disgusting,I wonder what colour her carpets are?😀
whoever voted Yabu must have spitting competitions at home😂

Yanbu. Hopefully it will have embarrassed the child enough to reconsider his behaviour in future

Passive parenting like this fills me with rage. I would have said something too.

I also told off another child today who shoved my toddler's face so hard that she fell over and hit her head on the floor. DD doesn't usually cry but was screaming. Parent wasn't looking - I said something to the child and then told his parent what happened and she did nothing.

I see the result of this kind of parenting in the classroom too.

Good for you.

Is spitting a moral issue? I agree it’s unpleasant, but moral?

I just wanted to say that sometimes this can be a sign of a sensory disorder trait sometimes people with autism or learning disabilities it may be a sensory issue. I feel that perhaps maybe this was met with anger because of this. I know we can't say everything might be because of something but if it was my child and they did something sensory that could not be controlled and was impulsive I would feel sad.
But no excuse if not because rightly so it is gross Perhaps you could have phrased things with a bit more sensitivity.

Always a gang of teenagers outside my corner shop doing this, not only do I have to dodge through the tiny gaps they leave on the pavement but also the mounds of disgusting spit and phlegm they hack up. Anbu

I think if that had been the case, she wouldn’t have immediately reacted angrily towards me. But I suppose you never know.

I also did phrase it sensitively, I didn’t shout or speak angrily in any way.

I think you did the right thing. Spitting is utterly gross! I once told someone’s child off for something similar and got an earful from the mum. Wasn’t pleasant but the behaviour we walk past is the behaviour we accept. At least that child knows some adults will call him out!

I firmly believe it's absolutely fine to tell other people's kids off if they're being horrible and antisocial. Spitting, dropping litter, bullying, generally causing a menace. I would hope someone would tell mine off if he was being.

I've told adults off for spitting, let alone small children!

My son has ASD and a low IQ - he has been told off by adults for a few of his behaviours over the years, once for spitting.

He's 13 now and spits into the top of his t shirt, plus he is in a wheelchair which helps people understand he is disabled.

I don't know why this boy was spitting, but, based on my experience of having a disabled child, I don't tell other children off because you never really know what's happening in the background.

This is a problem with some parents today. I would be quite happy for someone to tell my son off if he was spitting. He'd then get a row off me too.

I wouldn’t have said anything, only because I’d have known I’d get a mouthful off the parent of a child who spits on the floor. What a bloody tramp.

YWNBU.

Those are the people responsible for raising those disgusting slobs you see going about hurling spits and litter all over. Yuck.

And this is why some people grow up to be little shits

Drooling is not spitting though. You can tell. Hoiking up and spitting is not the same as a sensory issue. Come on.

I'm torn. My autistic son spits/dribbles. I hate the looks we get for some of his behaviour. I do however try to dissuade him when he's affected others and if I heard someone else calmly ask him to stop in a situation like this I would myself encourage him to stop doing it on the pavement. But I'd object to him being told off for something he's doing to keep himself calm.

Yeah I'd say so 🤷

The post about dog wee is an interesting one. If you were walking your dog then there is a good chance that you leave dog urine about the place, which is much worse than spit....but society tells us otherwise I guess.

I feel sorry for the kid, he's gonna grow up so entitled and we all know modern women don't touch men like that with barge poles.

Spitting was one of the causes of the spread of TB. As someone with a relative who had TB, it’s not something to just shrug off. Spitting spreads germs, it’s gross.

BUT in your case OP I would have mentioned it to the mother and not just gone straight in to the child. However as a mum I wouldn’t have been annoyed with you if you had, if that makes sense!