To Have "Told Off" Someone's Child?

[FooFighter99]

Just trying to gauge opinion but I'm pretty sure I wasn't BU

Walking home from school this afternoon having picked DD up, casually strolling through the estate to get home, chatting with another mum and her kids as they absolutely love our dog when I notice a young boy who's in front of us but walking about 5 paces behind his mum and possibly his older brother, and he's spitting on the floor with every other step

He's obviously got sweets in his mouth as the spit is bright red/pink and we're then having to dodge round it so we don't walk in it (gross) cos it'll be sticky and disgusting and I don't want someone else's spit all over my shoes and/or dogs paws

I said "ew can you stop spitting" in a jokey/normal tone, didn't raise my voice, wasn't angry or confronting, just wanted him to stop spitting on the pavement

His mum turned round and said "did you just tell my kid off?" to which I replied, "well, he's spitting all over the floor" and she responded by telling my to mind my own business and concentrate on my own kid - I responded by pointing out that my child wasn't spitting everywhere... again, didn't raise my voice, didn't get angry or animated but she kept chunnering all the way down the road till they eventually turned off onto their estate

Now, I'm sorry, actually not sorry in the slightest but if my DD had been the one spitting and another mum had pulled her up on it, I would have also told DD off for spitting, not the other mum for saying something

And seriously, spitting is fucking disgusting and she ought to teach her child some manners

YANBU

You were not U.

She was.

It's one of the few things that makes me heave, that and vomit (can't deal with it, have to make DH clean it up... )

I would have done the same thing if it was the kids from the high
school too

And yes, as PPs have said, the mum's attitude said it all really

Some people just think it's acceptable and don't bother correcting it. We were at a park in the Easter holidays and two kids walked over to spit in the corner near the bench a couple of times. Absolutely rank. We'd be going straight home if they were my kids.

Correcting another childs behaviour when the parent is present is awkward no doubt about it. it can be met with defensive behaviour by the parent. I have been in this situation many time having raised 3 sons of my own. They are all over 21 now. I absolutely corrected behaviour of another child that I deemed was no appropriate when in my care and when in my home whether the parent was there or not. I chose my words carefully mind. In the situation you described which was outdoors not on your turf so to speak, I wouldn't have said anything tbh.

Spitting is totally gross, but you can't tell people off for it.

I'm a right busybody over most things and will loudly exclaim about other people's unpleasant behaviour, trying to shame them (much to the embarrassment of my kids), but it's not something you can tell other people's kids off for.

A loud, "ewwww, how disgussssting!" usually achieves the intention without directly challenging a child in the presence of their child. Usually the parent agrees and speaks to the child, because you aren't 'telling' them

Spitting is vile behaviour!

This

Disgusting g and unhygienic too!

You didn't really tell them off, you just spoke to them

I disagree. His mum wasn't paying him the slightest bit of attention (though even if she'd seen him spitting, she probably wouldn't have said anything)

It was a public footpath, which is used by dozens of families before and after school. Someone's toddler could easily have fallen and landed in this boys spit (a stretch, I know, but possible)

Someone needs to speak up, otherwise these kids will grow up to be feral, like the teenagers who vandalised a car on the carpark opposite us the other week

Absolutely fine. She should have been embarrassed that her child was doing that and she hadn't noticed. Also it's an offence like littering and you can receive a fixed penalty notice for it. So she's an idiot for not teaching her kids this.

I would like to think if this was my son someone would have done the same. One of his friends told him off for being rude once when I had a tray of boiling hot food in my hand so was more focused on that. I was very grateful.

Well done, OP!
How absolutely vile and plebby to spit.

The mother's response tells you all you need to know.

It's as if the mother doesn't want to lift her child up to behave better than Vicky Pollard stereotypes.

As for dog wee: Dogs can be trained to wee in the gutter {Females at least}.

Spitting is totally gross, but you can't tell people off for it.

No, you mean you can't.

I certainly can and I have 🤷‍♀️

Yeah YANBU. Dirty git. Lazy parenting produces these specimens and you can tell what kind of future they'll have.

YANBU. I have told off kids in front of parents. Usually though because they are bothering or being cruel to an animal.

YADNBU. Well done for saying something.

I once pulled a girl up on chucking some plastic litter into a protected wildlife area over a bridge - the mum responded by getting aggressive and telling me to mind my own business.

No wonder the country/environment is going to shit!

Completely reasonable of you. It's a disgusting thing to do, and if his mums not going to tell him that, someone needs to

I've told lots of people's kids off. It's the teacher in me that I can't keep suppressed

Some scummy people on here that think spitting is okay. Gross.

Just wanted to add it could be a sensory thing, my DS has autism and would constantly spit, it used to drive me absolutely batty and I was forever correcting him and telling him not to do it but it made no difference, obviously he eventually stopped but it took a lot of effort and time to get him to understand why he couldn’t do it and why it wasn’t nice etc.

That's gross and you were right to ask him to stop.

I guess those who think spitting is fine are raising entitled little kids with disgusting habits too 🙄

YANBU. I tell other kids off happily when it’s warranted. And if their parent says anything then I usually reply that I’m not at all interested in their opinion on the matter.

Then surely the mother could've given him a tissue to spit into?