To Have "Told Off" Someone's Child?

[FooFighter99]

Just trying to gauge opinion but I'm pretty sure I wasn't BU

Walking home from school this afternoon having picked DD up, casually strolling through the estate to get home, chatting with another mum and her kids as they absolutely love our dog when I notice a young boy who's in front of us but walking about 5 paces behind his mum and possibly his older brother, and he's spitting on the floor with every other step

He's obviously got sweets in his mouth as the spit is bright red/pink and we're then having to dodge round it so we don't walk in it (gross) cos it'll be sticky and disgusting and I don't want someone else's spit all over my shoes and/or dogs paws

I said "ew can you stop spitting" in a jokey/normal tone, didn't raise my voice, wasn't angry or confronting, just wanted him to stop spitting on the pavement

His mum turned round and said "did you just tell my kid off?" to which I replied, "well, he's spitting all over the floor" and she responded by telling my to mind my own business and concentrate on my own kid - I responded by pointing out that my child wasn't spitting everywhere... again, didn't raise my voice, didn't get angry or animated but she kept chunnering all the way down the road till they eventually turned off onto their estate

Now, I'm sorry, actually not sorry in the slightest but if my DD had been the one spitting and another mum had pulled her up on it, I would have also told DD off for spitting, not the other mum for saying something

And seriously, spitting is fucking disgusting and she ought to teach her child some manners

You didn't actually tell him off so far as I can, you just asked him to stop.

I wonder how his mother would feel if he spat on her front doorstep.

YANBU, spitting is vile.

Another yob in the making. YANBU.

I think you were fine. I remember when I was in a pool and I was about 6, another child dunked my head under. I came up spluttering and wheezing to see my mum screeching like a beansí at the little brat who did it. Don't know what happened after but I loved my mum for that.

You were right. His mum is everything that is wrong in today's world, letting their precious flower's do whatever they want. I'm sick of seeing feral kids spitting all over the place (and worse). Scum kids dragged up by equally scum parents.

@Valour

really? Why not?

it’s rank

if everyone did it the streets would be awash

makes me wonder what WOULD bother you

I'd have said something like "oh, I was trying to help as you clearly hadn't noticed that he was misbehaving. If you don't want others to correct his bad behaviour, then perhaps you need to ensure that you're supervising him appropriately in future."

YANBU! That's fucking disgusting, there really are some trashy parents out there. I would have also said something OP.

@IvyIvyIvy

oh right so cos dogs piss everyone can go around spitting?!

and the pavements awash with spit/ phlegm

nice

@Redebs

totally! People can and do tell others for it

and why shouldn’t they

it’s proper rank

why would see gobs of spit and phlegm when I’m walking around?

Spitting isn't nice but it's nowhere near the level of behaviour I'd actively tell a strange child off about (save that for physically getting into my space or unreasonable amounts of noise, and probably not even then). Roll your eyes and move on. Tut if you must.

So if you saw a kid vandalising a flower bed, stepping on bees, spitting in a graveyard, littering all over the streets, you wouldn't say anything because they're not on your turf?

No wonder some kids have no morals.

YADNBU OP, I HATE spitting. It's disgusting and there is absolutely no excuse for it ever. The only passable excuse is if you're being sick or if you're ill and cannot make it to a bin in time. If you've got a cold, spit it in a tissue.

It's fucking disgusting. If I see anyone spitting I'll say something and if anyone told my daughter off for spitting and I was unaware I'd absolutely want them to tell her off. If I ever caught her spitting on a public path to the extent of the child in the OP where it's leaving a sticky mess on the floor I'd come down hard on her when she's old enough to learn.

It's disgusting. Anyone that's okay with it, raise your bar. If you're okay with your kids doing it, you are disgusting.

If I cared that much, I might have told the parent so that she can scold her own child.

Not drooling, spitting. And if he’s not checked and told why it’s disgusting, he’ll be gobbling even bigger sticky messes on the pavement, which are actually a health hazard. Spitting at someone is an offence, and with good reason.

For those saying that they wouldn't tell the child off, what would you do?

Ignore? Speak to the mum? Make loud, passive aggressive comments about how you wish other people would teach their children not to engage in antisocial behaviour?

Spitting is horrible. It's unhygienic and antisocial. The child needed to be told not to do it. What on earth is wrong with simply speaking to the child directly?

Firstly, the child may have been spitting if he had blood in his mouth. Maybe he has a lose tooth or cut his lip and is spitting it out. I would have first asked if the dc was okay before scolding him for spitting. If the child was just spitting then yes, I would think he should be told to stop constantly spitting as it is rude and gross. However, there have been times my dc have had a lose tooth or blood in their mouth and they have had to spit it out in the kitchen sink and keep rinsing until it stopped or dribble the spit into a tissue. Lucky for us it only happened at home and not out!

Can’t believe the amount of people on here that seem to think spitting is all fine and dandy.

dread to think how low your hygiene standards must be! 😩🤢

I think you were wrong. He may have had additional needs. I am also going to assume you’re Billy big bollocks telling off little kids but aren’t doing rhe same to adults

The child may habe additional needs

If it's own parent isn't going to teach the child any manners then I think you are right to say something even if she didn't like it.

Spitting in a public street is an offence, the same as urinating and can incur a fine of up to £100. Other than that it is absolutely disgusting.

Ok, but the OP simply told them not to spit. I don't see why having additional needs means that they shouldn't be told that?

And if they do have some kind of additional needs that mean they can't cope with being asked by a stranger not to spit, then surely mum needs to ensure that the child is actually supervised rather than being left to misbehave unattended. The child should have been walking where his parent could see him and not several paces behind.

You were right. He spits cos his DM doesn't care. Disgusting.

And this is what is wrong with society.
Additional needs or not, a child can be told that spitting is disgusting. I am so fed up of lazy parents who use ‘additional needs’ as their get out clause for their lack of parenting.