To think that this FLY business is just another way of trying to convince women that service is what they are meant for?

[madamez]

We've had house-work-is-what-FAther-Xmas-made-women-for.
We've had housework is the standard on which a woman's morals are judged.
Now we have housework as therapy: FInally Loving Yourself. What's loving about knocking yourself out with drudgery? Surely it's more self-loving to say, bollocks to doing more than the minimum, mess is no big deal and my time is far too precious to wipe skirting boards twice a day?

Is that what FLY stands for? Seriously?

eh?

give over
we all need to kkep house
she just offers advice on how to do it without killing yourself and turning your life into drudgery

4

I find myself kind of agreeing with you. I suspect part of it is 'okay ladies you have finally capitulated, here is how to make it hurt less, do it fast and don't think about it'

Yeah, but it doesn't work though, does it - leaving it? Because it makes you feel bad, even if you are the only one who notices. I think in the end most women do the housework FOR THEMSELVES. Having said that, I'd better get on and do some.

No, seriously, I have no clue what you're on about. What's going on?

Is FLY exclusively for women then? I know a couple who do FLY together. I would have thought it was for anyone who wanted to get a better handle on keeping the house straight, male or female. The fact that it's mostly women who take on the lion's share of that isn't FLY's fault.

My Grandma used to say that a well dusted house was the sign of a wasted life and ma recently told me if visitors are coming over, clean the toilet and polish the taps, hoover quickly and they probably won't notice the rest (I was starting to knock self into ground and bubs wasn't sleeping at all...)

I'm off to polish the taps now...and improve my minimal morals (LOL)

But Fly isn't for folks who do housework easily and automatically, it is for people who have difficulty with it.

Berolina: apparently. Reminds me of all the rest of the backlash crap, silly journos writing about how starving yourself on a permanent basis is 'liberating': all these makeover shows that always suggest dumb 'beuaty routines' that take up time which could be better spent reading, or wanking, or MNing let alone working or playing with your DC.

Fine. Clearly NOBODY is going to enlighten me.

Kind of agree madamez

I do feel judged when someone (say another school mother) comes into my house and it is less than pristine (which is always). I think women have internalised the 'clean house = woman worthy of respect/love' paradigm so thoroughly that we effectively police ourselves on this matter.

I think it takes unusual bravery, bloody-mindedness or high self-esteem to have a filthy house and not feel that it reflects badly on you. To that extent, I empathise with the women who do FLY.

Hecate I can't believe that you have never noticed the Fly threads on mn? It is some kind of email harrassment to make you do housework.

Jangly: because there has always been so much propaganda about how it's a woman's purpose in life to do housework, women feel they are being judged on it, when really most housework is a waste of time (making beds? Why botherFFS? You;re only gooing to get back in them later.). Far better for your mental health to go, a bit of mess doesn;t matter, and if you live with a man who doesn't do much housework but moans about mess, point out that if it bugs him, he can clean it.

@ sleepcats Tree Surgeon dh

flying iss not just for the lady
she talks of delegating and getting the whole household to notice that things can be done more easily with everyone mucking in

I'm going to walk away now as your complete lack of understanding of the premise is pissing me off

OH. I think I have seen 'Fly' in some thread titles. I thought it was natter, like scuttlethingie and Baaaaaaaa...etc. Fly = sexy, or something.

I see housework as completely tedious drudgery that I want no part of. I therefore pay someone else to do it.

Right. I'm going for a walk in the sunshine then. And then I'll potter in the garden for a while. I WILL, WILL, WILL, ignore the pull of the dusting. Sod it, DH has gone out to play!

If you like a tidy house, tidy the house. If it doesn't bother you, don't bother.

It's not rocket science, surely?

But didn't realise Flylady stood for that, does it really?

Trinity - but just ask yourself: would FLY ever, in a million gazillion years, exist on a mainly male forum?

great, feel guilty for NOT doing the housework, now going to feel guilty for DOING the bloody housework