to end a 10 year friendship over this?

[MrTiddlesTheCat]

My DS is 6 and has autism. He can talk but mostly doesn't. He goes to mainstream school.

A few weeks ago another parent approached me in the carpark and told me that she had had to intervene when passing through the playground earlier as a group of much older boys were intimidating my DS. She said he looked absolutely terrified and she thought I should know.

I talked to DS and with much coaxing I managed to get the full story out of him. These big boys have been mercilessly bullying him for months. Every single day name calling, pushing, kicking. It's horrfic and I'm so angry. Angry at the kids doing it. Angry at the school for apparently not noticing. Angry at myself.

I met up with a friend yesterday who I haven't seen for a while and I told her about DS and how awful it had all been. And she bloody well already knew. I was so stunned that it didn't really register what she was saying until I got home. Her DS is in the same class as these big boys and had been telling her all along what was happening to my little boy. But she never said anything.

Maybe it's misplaced anger, but I can't help feeling let down by her. She knew my DS was being hurt and chose to do nothing.

AIBU in thinking this crosses a line and this woman is not my friend?

I spoke to the special needs teacher when I dropped DS off today. She looked horrified and said she'd pass on the info to the head when he arrived later. She didn't know what to say.

The head found me at pick up time and apologised. He said it's a complete failure on their part and he wants to get angry and give them a bloody good telling off (the staff) but that won't fix it. Staff members are given instructions and trusted to follow them out. Clearly that trust is misplaced with some of them. The head said he will be staying and supervising afterschool club on a Friday until they can jiggle the schedule so that a more experienced member of staff can be there. He said he didn't feel proud of his school today.

Are you happy with that response @MrTiddlesTheCat ?

Sounds like he talked a lot but didn’t say much.

Where are the clear, concrete next steps?

And what is he doing about the bullies?

he’s talked the talk, let’s hope he walks the walk

I was. But looking at the responses here I don't know if I'm being seriously naive. He seemed sincere and this is the first incident in a few weeks because of changes he's made. But maybe that's my own lack of judgment talking.

Unfortunately he's not allowed to tell me much about what he's doing with them. I know that on Friday he was put straight into isolation (so missed out on icecream DS tells me) and the parents were called. But beyond that I don't know.

Generally I know they now supervise the cloak rooms and corridors, where they didn't before, and they've arranged some sessions with an anti bullying organisation for the whole school. But specific to the kids doing it, I don't know.

This.
I half ended a friendship of 40 years over something that was entirely my fault when I thought about it. We still talk though.
This woman has done you no favours OP. What has the school said about the bullying?