If you gifted money to your grandchildren...

[HarperElla]

...say £50-£150 per birthday/Christmas and the odd other occasion like Easter or random gifts, would you mind if their mother put the money towards a holiday for them and their parent? I've been doing this, I have a 4 year old, he has too many toys, I have a really good savings pot for him already etc etc. I want to take him on holiday to Egypt before he goes to school, and put any money which is given to him by family members towards this. I've made sure that it doesn't extend past the fare for his flight. I've been told by a family member that I'm out of order doing this and that I should either put it in his savings or buy him gifts with it. I've made it clear to him that the family members who gave us the money helped us pay for it and that we should be grateful to them that they helped us go on holiday (explained in terms he can ubderstand). He has 4k in savings, 1k a year put in my me. WIBU to do this?

This.

You are stealing from your children.

You put that money in savings for them

No I think that’s fair. If they’ve got a problem with it put it into savings and don’t contribute the amount you would for the next month or two to save for the holiday instead, what’s the difference m. He’ll gain far more from a holiday then yet more toys

100% agree with all of this

I don't have children. I have great nieces and nephews. I always give money for Christmas and birthdays, and I would be thrilled to know that it was being spent on a real adventure like going to Egypt. My sister said when she took her 4 yo to Disney world that it was the best time to take her because she was young enough for it to be really magical. And 30 years later she still remembers it. Magic is what childhood is about. Go for it, OP!

We use gifted money for trips & days out all the time. Kids have so many toys. We always make them write a thank you note to whoever the money was from. It’s one trip. The money can easily put back. My kids are also currently obsessssed with Egypt and the Mummies and the Pyramids what a lovely trip. And to those saying “what will the kid get out of it” have you taken young kids abroad? It ain’t no holiday for the parent I tell you! It’s ALL about the kid! I’d defo mention it to your mum but o don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. My boys are currently saving for a trip to Disney!

The OP was annoyed because another family member had said it wasn't right to spend money this way. Not sure who that was- maybe a sibling.

She only posted to get confirmation that it was okay to spend the money from the Gran. OP had already made up her mind that it was ok.

Having followed the whole thread, it's clear that she only wanted posters who agreed with her. The matter was resolved quickly anyway as the Gran appeared almost as soon as she'd posted and said it was ok with her.

Sorry, but a 4 year old does not need to go to Egypt. You could take him to the British Museum instead?

Your kid and the money is a gift. Do what u want to with it. I give/receive cash for the kids all the time. Sometimes it goes in savings, sometimes on things they want, meals out...whatever really. If people are that fussed, they can keep it and build up a lump sum to gift when the child is 16/18/21.

@HarperElla I work with someone who’s mum spent gifts of money given to her to fund her presence on holidays and days out. The family was comfortable so money was not an issue. Years later the DD is still very angry about this. She would have preferred to spend it as she chose, on books, games etc or to save it. But not in the way her mum unilaterally decided. (For mine I always gave half to the kids and saved half for them.)

So you’re making your young child pay for his own holiday? The money should be spent on him things he wants or put in savings for when he wants something….

seeing as your mum is ok with it go and have a wonderful holiday and make some memories! Life’s too short. And my 4 year old used to know every dinosaur name going so yes they can know a lot at that age. Enjoy!

I agree crosstalk. It’s too risky in health and security terms to take a small child to Egypt.
Further swimming pools can carry dysentery.It would be a colossal waste of money for your child to be so ill that he has to stay in the hotel or worse in hospital. Never mind it’s his money you’re spending

Sounds great to me! I have 3 children and myself, the last few years instead of toys and more rubbish in my house my mum puts the money she would spend on presents towards a holiday for us or books us a weekend away to do something fun :) so much better then more junk in my house and the children get an experience which is wonderful :)

I don't see the problem with what you're doing if you're replacing the money. It's a bit like knowing you're getting a £1K bonus in June, need to get a £1K deposit on a holiday now and borrowing the money.

As long as it goes back in June, you're using your bonus to pay for the holiday! If you kept the bonus that would be different.

And as your mum is all for you using the money she gave I don't see the problem.

The one thing you do need to be aware of is the temperature in Egypt. We went about 20 years ago and did Cairo, Luxor and the Valley of the Kings.

We had to be out of the hotel by 6am for the Valley of the Kings as the guide wanted us back mid morning because the heat is searing (it can go to 45 degrees sometimes) and it gets packed by about 10am. You will need to be prepared for going up and down stairs in that heat if you're going there.

Luxor is amazing but, again, you're outside in searing heat so be prepared. We did a light and sound evening there where you heard the stories of the Pharaohs and had a light display. Beautiful...and cool (thankfully) but the number of people! It was manic (think Wembley at FA cup final coming out).

Cairo was dusty and hot. Expect crowds at the pyramids and, again, go at a cooler time of day. Cairo temperatures can hit mid 30s quite easily (it's 31 degrees there at the moment apparently). So be prepared for walking in that sort of temperature.

And remember, loving pyramids at four years old is great. But your son will be in searing heat (it got too much for us sometimes). He may not be prepared for that - he'll be equating pyramids with the British Museum where we certainly don't see 45 degree temperatures and very early starts. It'll be exciting but certainly not easy for him. You need to think things through very carefully to keep him safe and happy.

What on earth are some of these comments - it is entirely up to you what you do with this money and how it's spent.

Taking your child on holiday is part of that - or just don't put £1k into his savings from you.

Same

@HarperElla if it makes other people feel any better (and you're bothered by that) just spend his money on the activities and your money on the flight. He's not paying for his holiday now, his birthday money is going towards doing something he is desperate to do. I bet he'll appreciate it all the more for being told that granny gave him some money for a special trip seeing the pyramids.

Anyway, it's a moot point as gift giver is more than happy for her gift to go on sending her grandson on his dream trip. Maybe it'll even become a thing that Christmas money goes towards an adventure?

Not everything in life is about saving. Life’s way too short at times. Go on holiday and enjoy making precious memories as a family. You’ve already said that he’ll be looked after financially by other means, so I don’t see the harm in spending a little enjoying a holiday. x

Why is a four year old expected to fund his own holiday?
You asked your mum and showed her the thread, as if she would say no with that confrontation.
Why not save up yourself and take him when you can afford it.
He's 4, so will have any more obsessions, can't be dipping into his account every time.

Heck, even I have read where it was mentioned. Maybe try READING the posts?

I think I can be reasonably assured that the obstreperous poster doesn't have to worry about being confused with a genius. 😬

As for a four-year-old being obsessed with Egypt? People think it's cute when a fyo knows all the words to a Frozen song, all the Disney princesses and every other Disney character by name and don't give it a thought. But, a child in love with Egypt instead of Disney is doubted. Says a lot about the people making those assumptions.

OP--Your Mom has blessed you using the funds for the trip. That's really all that matters. Have a fabulous trip, take a lot of pictures and make sure you get your son something from there that he can keep for a lifetime. Too bad your Mom could not go with you. It sounds like she would love it also.

THIS! ⬆ ALL of this!

You put it much better (and nicer) than I would.

Yup!

don’t see how anyone can argue with that!

This thread is strange.

OP YANBU.

I have plenty of memories from around that age, so it's perfectly possible he'll remember it. He loves Egypt. Can't see a problem with it at all. And if I were to give a gift of money to a niece or nephew and it was spent on a holiday I'd just be happy they had a nice holiday!

You have said its only for the ait fare but kids that age are usually cheap as chips so nit sure why you need to take 1k out to pay for his airfare?

You're effectively spending his money to save yourself money.
YABU.