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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To insist DS cuts his hair?

195 replies

Skodascream · 24/04/2023 07:18

DS is 6.5. He‘s always had short hair until now. It’s gone past the outgrown look and is just a mop of hair on his head. It is starting to fall into his eyes.

He is such a handsome boy, but I HATE his hair right now. And seeing it in his eyes is driving me crazy.

He says he wants to grow it.

Should I insist he gets it cut?

Or should I let him express himself?

I’m tempted to bribe him with the trainers he wants- only if he gets his hair cut!!

OP posts:
Okunevo · 24/04/2023 07:21

Can he tie part of it up to keep it out of his eyes? Growing hair out can be tricky at the in-between stage, that's not his fault.

dogglebox · 24/04/2023 07:21

Can't you compromise and get a trim to tidy it up?

araiwa · 24/04/2023 07:22

As long as he gets to decide your haircut too

Howtohideasausage · 24/04/2023 07:22

Leave it. I suspect you think boys shouldn’t have long hair. You’re only going to make him feel bad about it and it’s not a reflection on you.

Beautifulsunflowers · 24/04/2023 07:23

Have a look at longer hairstyles together online and compromise on one, get a haircut to keep it out of his eyes.

CheersForThatEh · 24/04/2023 07:23

Leave him alone. This is him growing into his own person. It's hard but it's his choice. When do you plan to give him body autonomy?

And if you bribe him...hair grows quickly.

Boughtitdownthemarket · 24/04/2023 07:24

You're the adult. Personally I would keep his hair short just to protect against nits. Obviously I know he will still catch them with short hair but they are easier to identify and treat. Insist on cutting it and you can use the shoes as a carrot.

DreamingofNuneaton · 24/04/2023 07:25

His hair, his choice.

Steakandquinoa · 24/04/2023 07:26

We cut out sons hair when he started school so he looked ‘smart’ (he didn’t want to). He’s 23 now and has always had long flowing hair, it’s his thing. We look back at these school photos and how silly he looked as it wasn’t his style.

Original poster
Skodascream · 24/04/2023 07:26

I think a compromise is the best option. Just to at least tidy it up a bit.

I‘m not against boys having long hair. But his hair right now does not look good.

I haven’t told him outright that I hate it, I‘m not that mean!

OP posts:
Boughtitdownthemarket · 24/04/2023 07:27

My daughter hates the doctor. Should I insist on her attending or allow her bodily autonomy? 😂I'm sorry but I think for a child, parents' wisdom needs to trump bodily autonomy.

Original poster
Skodascream · 24/04/2023 07:28

Boughtitdownthemarket · 24/04/2023 07:24

You're the adult. Personally I would keep his hair short just to protect against nits. Obviously I know he will still catch them with short hair but they are easier to identify and treat. Insist on cutting it and you can use the shoes as a carrot.

There was an outbreak of nits at school just last week.

I did tell him he’s more likely to catch nits but he wasn’t bothered

OP posts:
Howtohideasausage · 24/04/2023 07:29

What’s the parents wisdom here?

He’s growing it out. Hardly the same as refusing the dr.

queenofthewild · 24/04/2023 07:29

DS had beautiful long hair for a while. He wore one of those stretchy footballers hair bands Jack Grealish style while it was growing out.

Howtohideasausage · 24/04/2023 07:29

Also. You wouldn’t cut your daughter’s hair to avoid nits.

DisquietintheRanks · 24/04/2023 07:30

You don't see the difference bw your example and the OP'S @Boughtitdownthemarket ? Between hair length and the need for medical treatment?

Okunevo · 24/04/2023 07:30

Boughtitdownthemarket · 24/04/2023 07:24

You're the adult. Personally I would keep his hair short just to protect against nits. Obviously I know he will still catch them with short hair but they are easier to identify and treat. Insist on cutting it and you can use the shoes as a carrot.

Would you insist on chopped hair for girls too?

Rainydaysgetmedown · 24/04/2023 07:31

He’s 6. If his hair is a mess and you hate it at the very least you get it tidied up. At 6 I made the overall decision about my children’s hair. I’m quite happy to tell my 13 year old his hair looks ridiculous when it gets too long.

MissyB1 · 24/04/2023 07:31

Howtohideasausage · 24/04/2023 07:29

Also. You wouldn’t cut your daughter’s hair to avoid nits.

I would. Why would you assume girls can’t /don’t have short hair?

Original poster
Skodascream · 24/04/2023 07:31

Howtohideasausage · 24/04/2023 07:29

Also. You wouldn’t cut your daughter’s hair to avoid nits.

No but you would insist it is tied back if there is an outbreak of nits

OP posts:
Okunevo · 24/04/2023 07:34

Skodascream · 24/04/2023 07:31

No but you would insist it is tied back if there is an outbreak of nits

Show quote history

So do this? If it's in between and you can't then you'd have the same problem with a girl growing her hair out. When I was at school lots of girls had hair in a bob not tied back.

Ellie43 · 24/04/2023 07:34

I would allow him to grow it out, but take him to hairdresser so he can tell them what he wants and they can help it look good along the way with a view to reach his end goal.

Howtohideasausage · 24/04/2023 07:34

I have two daughters, both with shorter hair than their brother.

Anyway, your son wants long hair. You don’t like it. Are you really going to bribe him or make him cut it? I’m a firm parent on a lot of things, but I don’t tell my children how to style their hair as the message there is that you don’t like how they look.

Okunevo · 24/04/2023 07:35

MissyB1 · 24/04/2023 07:31

I would. Why would you assume girls can’t /don’t have short hair?

Show quote history

Not many would do this if the girl wanted to grow her hair.

Howtohideasausage · 24/04/2023 07:35

Exactly