To insist DS cuts his hair?

[Skodascream]

DS is 6.5. He‘s always had short hair until now. It’s gone past the outgrown look and is just a mop of hair on his head. It is starting to fall into his eyes.

He is such a handsome boy, but I HATE his hair right now. And seeing it in his eyes is driving me crazy.

He says he wants to grow it.

Should I insist he gets it cut?

Or should I let him express himself?

I’m tempted to bribe him with the trainers he wants- only if he gets his hair cut!!

My step daughter was around the same age and hated having her hair brushed. It would knit really easily too. As if she grew dreadlocks overnight. It was always such a drama having it washed and brushed so she did not enjoy it. I have a Bob and she begged her mum for that who agreed and she looked so cute and her hair always looked great!

she was into being active so it was much easier to manage!
I think it’s fine weather kids want short or long hair regardless of being boy or girl. But I do think it’s good for them to learn certain hairstyles so need to be looked after differently.

Wow nobody is suggesting this.

All the suggestions of hairbands- he is also refusing these. He wants his hair in his eyes.

I don't agree with a complete autonomy "his hair his choice" for a 6 year old. However, I wouldn't force him to cut it - I would give a choice that either he cuts it, or it's kept clean, brushed and tidy, and tied back somehow so it's out of his face. If it requires a trim to get it into a tidier style that can then be grown, then I'd do that.

I would give the same rule to a girl. It's the rule I had as a child - I could have long hair, but it was to be tied back at school, kept tidy, and trimmed to keep neat.

I’ve had the same battle with ds, we now compromise that it can be long but must be tidied with regular maintenance (trims at the barbers to keep it out of his eyes). I think it looks silly and no, I don’t like long hair on boys. But ds has long hair because HE likes it and it’s HIS hair. He’s tried headbands but doesn’t like them, he actively wants to not be able to see 😂
I was the same with the dds, they could have their hair how they wanted (long or short) but not in their eyes.

It’s his hair. He wants to grow it. Let it grow.

My ds had a stage where he grew his hair out. It looked awful, but he loved it. Then he decided he wanted it cut. So we cut it.

Because wanting long hair as a boy and refusing to go to the doctor is basically the same thing… What kind of „wisdom“ says boys can’t have long hair?

I‘m not going to force him to get it cut short. That wasn’t actually what I meant in my OP. But his hair definitely needs a trim and tidy up.

I totally get the comments about letting him have the hair he wants. If he wants it long he can have it long, but we need to sort out the hair in his eyes.

If he won’t wear a hairband, then at least the front needs trimming. I think he would look quite cute if it was styled nicely but as a 6 year old boy he doesn’t care about that!

Why not just have it trimmed where it’s not in his eyes?

This would be ideal but he is refusing. He wants it in his eyes.

But apparently IABU to insist on this

Cut his hair. You’re his parent and not the other way around.

I was trying to say that I am in the same situation as you. I have a child who wants long hair but will not brush it or tie it back in any way. I have tried every hair band, bobble and hair style I can find. He looks a mess. I feel like people must think that I do not care enough about my child to look after his hair properly. The reality is, if a child will not cut or tie back their hair, what are we supposed to do?

Yes, I would trim the hair so it wasn't in his eyes.

Really? He's 6!!

No wonder the kids of today have MH problems- they need PARENTING.

If he’s 6ft 5, how old is he?

Is there a rule at school about tying long hair back? See if you can use this to support your argument, and see if the teacher can support. This helped convert mine to at least wearing a headband. Plus the growing out stage doesn't last forever.

as much as it is his hair & ultimately his choice, He does to learn if he wants a certain style to look after it properly.
so I get your point as well
maybe take him to the hairdresser and they can have a chat with him about what he needs to do to grow it out properly and take care of it?
he might decide he can’t be bothered or he might give it a go…

Basically whatever you are doing should not be different because he is a boy.

If he has long hair then you just make him tie it back, same as you would for a girl. It's no different.

If you can't impose that rule on your 6 year old then there's some kind of problem, unless he has autism/ special needs of some kind.

6 year olds have very little choice in how their lives are organised. To me this is a big ‘choose your battles carefully’ moment. Don’t bribe him to do something you want him to do. Getting your own way by putting him in a difficult situation won’t bode well for your future relationship. Treat him with respect, admire his independence and use it as chance to talk about boy autonomy.

Sorry I read your post wrong, I can see what you were trying to say now! Will go and get another coffee 😆

At a child's age I don't/didn't do
"Their hair, or whatever, their choice"... purely because IMO it's a slippery slope to them growing up thinking they can do as they please through life.

But the best thing is to teach compromise, long hair on little boys seems to be a bit of a fashion thing now and as long as it's tied back at school, which some schools do insist on whether girls or boys.
If it can't be scrapped back into a top knot the fringe mustn't be in his eyes, generally kept tidy and the odd trim.

Easy compromise for him to be given and he can keep his long hair.

Body autonomy not boy, although maybe that was a Freudian slip.

I agree with @mrsblueskyeye.

Some of the shit i read on here is truly baffling.

You're the parent, hes the child. Ultimately if his hair looks a mess, get it cut. Simple as that. I can't belive this is an issue - fair enough if he was in senior school, but 6?!?! 😲

My DD recently had her beautiful, waist-length hair cut very short. Broke my heart. But I didn't object because it's not my hair.

I did insist on several discussions to make sure she was certain and aware that it's a long process to grow it back should she wish to. That's where the "parental wisdom" bit comes in - in the OP's case, he needs to be made aware that longer aware requires looking after to keep it looking nice.

I have compromised on exactly this issue with DS8 - the fringe gets cut so he can see out but the rest of it he can do what he wants with...and same as yours, it's a long messy/curly mop. But it's who he is/wants to be, so I'll settle for just doing the fringe and the odd trim when he will consider it!

He's six. I'm sure you appreciate how wrong you are if you think about it for just a moment.