To insist DS cuts his hair?

[Skodascream]

DS is 6.5. He‘s always had short hair until now. It’s gone past the outgrown look and is just a mop of hair on his head. It is starting to fall into his eyes.

He is such a handsome boy, but I HATE his hair right now. And seeing it in his eyes is driving me crazy.

He says he wants to grow it.

Should I insist he gets it cut?

Or should I let him express himself?

I’m tempted to bribe him with the trainers he wants- only if he gets his hair cut!!

At 6 I would not let my child decide and would keep it short so it's much easier to manage and less likely to catch nits.

It’s gone past the outgrown look and is just a mop of hair on his head. It is starting to fall into his eyes.

i had this issue with DD who never wanted her hair cut. i'm old fashioned in that i don't think children get to make all their own decisions. My compromise was it had to be out of her eyes - so either fringe trimmed or clipped back if she wanted to grow it out. Length had to have a slight trim regularly to stop it looking endy. And had to be tied back in school or when doing activities/homework.

DS never wanted to grow his hair but I'd like to think I'd have had the same approach as with DD.

Doesn't his school have a policy about this? Or does it only apply to girls? I have noticed that - girls have to wear long hair tied back/off their face but somehow the boys are allowed to have it just hanging. I think it's ridiculous.

Wanting long hair is fine, but the bare minimum of maintenance is needed. DD's hair is long, curly and hard to manage. I'm not militant about it but it does have to be off her face for school and some of the frizziness dealt with.

Mine have had theirs long - I buy camo bandanas (the snood type ones so no knotting needed) - keeps it out of their eyes and probably more comfortable than a band.

Ds1 kept his hair very long for 5/6 years. This was his call and part of the way in which he expressed himself. I do not regret not forcing him to cut.

My DS is nearly 6 and chooses to have long hair. It's absolutely fine for boys to have long hair. I do place the conditions on it though, as I would for a child of either sex as hygiene is important. He has to let me wash it, brush it and check with the nit comb without fuss. He also has to go to the hairdressers for a trim to keep it neat.

Personally I would keep his hair short just to protect against nits.

what a load of nonsense 😂😂

it’s his hair, let him choose how he wants to wear it, you wouldn’t like someone telling you how to cut your hair, would you?

perhaps try for a compromise and go to the barbers for a tidy up?

DS(8) has always let us have our own way with his hair, but he's recently decided he wants to grow the fringe long. I'm letting him decide because he expresses very few opinions on how he looks or what he wears, so he must feel strongly about it. I think once they're old enough to express an opinion on their appearance, you should let them choose, within reason.

I recently heard from his friend's mum that he's started a bit of a trend in his class and several other boys now want to grow their crew cuts out...

It's not your hair, leave it

I have one of these. 6.5 yo boy who has shoulder length hair and wants to wear it down. With mine it's partly a sensory issue. He likes his hair in his eyes and over his ears. He's blonde so looks like Dougal from the magic roundabout.

The rule in our house is that it has to be clean and tidy and crucially, out of his eyes for school. Whether that be half up half down, or pony tail. Refusal to hair brush or wash and he knows that he will have to have it cut.

Get a tangle teaser and some hair detangler. It's very popular in my school for boys to have long hair and wear headbands, bobbles etc.

He is 6 years old, it's not his decision, it's yours as his parent.

It is not right for a 6 year old to have hair blocking their vision and getting in their eyes. A teacher could rightly ask you to prevent this - either by cutting or by some sort of hairband.

At 6yo, I'd have it cut. He's little and needs to understand basic stuff like that - you wouldn't let him walk around with his shoelaces undone, he shouldn't be walking about with obscured vision from hair in his eyes.

Coercive, controlling and fear based parenting is still the leading style of parenting today according to research. But of course gentle and respectful parenting is to blame 🙄

If you want complete control over another sentient being, get a dog or something. Giving children choices isn’t giving them mental health problems ffs, fuck if with your offensive bullshit.

It's so funny, isn't it?? The idea that letting a child think for themselves and be treated like, gasp, a person, is still so out of the park for a lot of people.

Treating children like human beings who are individuals with bodily autonomy and respect will encourage them to grow into adults who have good boundaries and emotional intelligence. 😂

If you want complete control over another sentient being, get a dog or something

No dog allows complete control 😂

Surely the length of a kid’s hair isn’t a hill to die on? Mine had beautiful long blond hair for years. I nearly cried when he went to the other extreme and shaved his head.

I love long hair on boys, I can't stand really short hair. Both mine have long hair and I will only cut it when they choose to.
There are cuts that keep it out their eyes or he can put it up for school. I don't see why you would force him to have it short.

Also if my child really wanted hair in his eyes at age 6 I would just let his hair dangle in his eyes, as long as he can see, which I assume he can as he probably pushed it to the side, what's the point in arguing.
If the school mentioned something then I'd probably do something about it but I've always had long hair and side fringes and all sorts and it's never been an issue.

What rot!

What do you think a child is? You're supposed to have control. You're supposed to be responsible. Giving children choices can be a very bad thing. They don't get to choose not to clean their teeth, or go to bed. They don't get to choose to only eat chocolate, or stay home from school, or a million other things.

Grow up. Be a responsible parent. If you want to let them choose their hair at 6, knock yourself out. I'll decide my kids hair at six. That's my job.

My daughter hates the doctor. Should I insist on her attending or allow her bodily autonomy?
What a lot of rubbish. Of course it's not the same.
OP if it were me I'd let him enjoy one of the few things he can have control over safely and let him grow it. If it's in his eyes he can tie it back - he probably will have to for school anyway. Most schools do insist on long hair being tied back.

You're the adult. Personally I would keep his hair short just to protect against nits.
So should all children, male and female, have short hair in case of nits?

All your points are completely different to hair. If you don't brush teeth they decay, if children don't go to bed, they are too tired to learn, if they don't go to school they won't get a good education, if they only eat chocolate their health will suffer. All important issues for parents to care about.

If they don't cut their hair....... What? It looks a bit untidy and gets in their eyes. Who cares. That's one area they can have some choice over and express themselves.

If hair is their eyes they can trip and fall, not see the board at school etc. If they won't brush it or keep it tidy (cos you'd have to say thats a valid choice and expression too, right?) then it will matted and painful to brush and they'll get nits.

Six year olds don't need to express themselves with hair. Why are you making them feel like appearance matters at that age anyway? Pretty weird.

Brushing it and keeping it clean is hygienic so yes that is important, as is bathing and teeth brushing.
Adults care about what they wear and how they look, why can't children?
so if a child wants to wear a certain colour or choose their shoes you think that's 'weird' too?!

But your all about the choice right, so if they want it long but unbrushed and dirty thats cool.
OR you're exactly as controlling as I am, just about slightly differnt things. Which is it?

It’s hair. It’s not a medical issue. He is old enough to be allowed to decide his own hair style.