Page 7 | To insist DS cuts his hair?

Skodascream · 2023-04-24T06:18:52+00:00

DS is 6.5. He‘s always had short hair until now. It’s gone past the outgrown look and is just a mop of hair on his head. It is starting to fall into his eyes. He is such a handsome boy, but I HATE his hair right now. And seeing it in his eyes is driving me crazy. He says he wants to grow it. Should I insist he gets it cut? Or should I let him express himself? I’m tempted to bribe him with the trainers he wants- only if he gets his hair cut!!

Okunevo · 25/04/2023 10:42

Ramunea · 25/04/2023 09:47

I personally think it’s ridiculous when I see some boys with a full head of hair sometimes down to their back. I’m not saying your son’s hair is this long btw.

Be a parent and cut his hair. He will live and he will get over it.

Do you think it's ridiculous for a girl to have a full head of hair?

Original poster

Skodascream · 25/04/2023 11:28

Antisocialfluffmonster · 25/04/2023 07:54

its just laziness on the parents part to insist on asserting authority over something as personal as a haircut for their own convenience, no matter how upset the child is going to be or how long their going to have to live with it. It’s perfectly possible to treat nits with long hair, you just couldn’t be bothered.

and kids do hold on to grudges about this, have sat with little old ladies in nursing homes talking about this being done to them as children, so you better believe this attitude of yours will be remembered.

I really don’t understand how after decades of education and research we still have parents that feel like ruling with an iron fist is what works. Or that ensuring your child is unable to express their personality is acceptable.

Genuinely super strict parenting is how you end up with a child like me, and I don’t think anyone here wants that. Sure I might be successful and independent, and have done a lot with my life but I left home at 17, never went back, I don’t keep in touch with family, am covered in tattoos and piercings, moved as far away as was practical, and will quite literally hide in the cupboard rather than have family visit.

You reap what you sow. And that’s what super strict parenting got my parents.

So much false accusation in one post (well, two actually).

My son does not have nits and has not ever had nits. I he got nits I would treat him thoroughly, regardless of the length of his hair.

I am not forcing , and would never force DS into a hair cut. If you would read my update, he now wants to go to the hairdressers and has CHOSEN to have it trimmed.

I haven’t actually bribed him with clothing.

I do not rule with an iron fist. My kids have plenty of freedom and choice in their lives, as well as plenty of love.

I’m sorry if you had a shitty childhood with shitty parents. Please do not start projecting accusations onto me in what was a semi-lighthearted thread.

OP posts:

Ramunea · 25/04/2023 11:43

Skodascream · 25/04/2023 11:28

So much false accusation in one post (well, two actually).

My son does not have nits and has not ever had nits. I he got nits I would treat him thoroughly, regardless of the length of his hair.

I am not forcing , and would never force DS into a hair cut. If you would read my update, he now wants to go to the hairdressers and has CHOSEN to have it trimmed.

I haven’t actually bribed him with clothing.

I do not rule with an iron fist. My kids have plenty of freedom and choice in their lives, as well as plenty of love.

I’m sorry if you had a shitty childhood with shitty parents. Please do not start projecting accusations onto me in what was a semi-lighthearted thread.

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You tell her!

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 25/04/2023 12:30

Nope
I didn't want a fringe any more so we let it grow out

A 6 year old is capable of know if they like their hair long or not.

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 25/04/2023 12:32

Ramunea · 25/04/2023 09:47

I personally think it’s ridiculous when I see some boys with a full head of hair sometimes down to their back. I’m not saying your son’s hair is this long btw.

Be a parent and cut his hair. He will live and he will get over it.

That's your gender bias showing
There's no problem with boys having long hair or girls having short

meditated · 25/04/2023 12:43

Is the issue here that he is nervous/ really dislikes going for a haircut?

Is his hair impractical as in making him get too hot and sweaty, as well as being in his eyes?

I think in both those cases I would override him.

If it is a style/ personality thing, I guess I can live with it.

Also, is it usual for six and a half year old to really want to have specific trainers? I thought at this age they really couldn't care less as long as they are comfortable.

steff13 · 25/04/2023 12:53

Would he wear something like this?

Ellie43 · 25/04/2023 13:55

Skodascream · 24/04/2023 18:21

This has made for a more interesting conversation than I anticipated!

There is an update, the sort that if I read this I would think it’s a load of shit. But this really happened this afternoon…

… DS asked to go to the hairdressers 😂 I asked if he wants his hair cut short like he used to get it done, or just tidied up and a little bit shorter. He chose tidied up!

Oh that’s good. And you offered him fair choices :)

Ellie43 · 25/04/2023 13:55

steff13 · 25/04/2023 12:53

Would he wear something like this?

i don’t think he has a beard 🙃

steff13 · 25/04/2023 14:14

Ellie43 · 25/04/2023 13:55

i don’t think he has a beard 🙃

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I don't think you have to have a beard to wear that headband considering it's not anywhere near the beard. 🤷‍♀️

Ellie43 · 25/04/2023 14:21

steff13 · 25/04/2023 14:14

I don't think you have to have a beard to wear that headband considering it's not anywhere near the beard. 🤷‍♀️

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Sorry just kidding 😝

Anderson2018 · 25/04/2023 14:31

my sons hair is so messy when it’s long I hate it too, honestly I disagree with everyone and say it’s not up to you, he’s yours and you want him to look neat and tidy, once he’s a teenager he can be as scruffy as he likes but as a 6 year old the same people saying let him decide will be the people to judge you because he looks scruffy.

Easterfunbun · 25/04/2023 14:33

I’d cut it at 6. Plenty of time for self expression a bit further down the line but at 6 I would havs the final say.

Coffeeandbourbons · 25/04/2023 14:36

ThenILeft · 24/04/2023 21:58

Why not just give her a buzz cut then - so much easier to wash/manage. Bobs are actually much harder - if it's too short to tie up she's much more likely to get nits at school.

You can help children look after themselves without overruling decisions that have no affect on their health and well-being - school uniform is a school policy, hair styles are generally not! If he doesn't get enough sleep he'll eventually get poorly/or at least very unhappy - not so with hair length. Etc. Etc. It's just imposing your style/ choices on your kids for no reason. Now if child wanted long hair but refused to wash it, different discussion. Likewise if they wanted it all shaved off and wouldn't wear a hat in the summer. But not letting a kid grow their hair - where's the health and safety issue?

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Because I wouldn’t give my son a buzz cut either, probably. It’s an issue because of head lice, hair dangling in your eyes being a risk when playing, because it gets dirty when they touch it (and do regular kids stuff like eat with their hands or touch mud) and because they usually scream the place down having the knots brushed out and having it blow dried. As the parent I would cut it to make it easier for me to manage. All this ‘bodily autonomy’ shit is hilarious.

KTheGrey · 25/04/2023 14:42

Buy him a hairband.

ThenILeft · 25/04/2023 16:47

Coffeeandbourbons · 25/04/2023 14:36

Because I wouldn’t give my son a buzz cut either, probably. It’s an issue because of head lice, hair dangling in your eyes being a risk when playing, because it gets dirty when they touch it (and do regular kids stuff like eat with their hands or touch mud) and because they usually scream the place down having the knots brushed out and having it blow dried. As the parent I would cut it to make it easier for me to manage. All this ‘bodily autonomy’ shit is hilarious.

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I don't think it's hilarious, I think it's really important for children to have control over their own bodies and to be treated with respect, as we would all like to be treated. I just don't understand people ruling their children with an iron fist, what sort of relationship do you expect to have with them as they grow up? When are they allowed to make decisions form themselves, about things that don't really affect anything else?

50percentNamaste50percentGoFuckYourself · 25/04/2023 16:49

ThenILeft · 25/04/2023 16:47

I don't think it's hilarious, I think it's really important for children to have control over their own bodies and to be treated with respect, as we would all like to be treated. I just don't understand people ruling their children with an iron fist, what sort of relationship do you expect to have with them as they grow up? When are they allowed to make decisions form themselves, about things that don't really affect anything else?

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They don't have control over their own bodies at six years old, if you tell them they do you are lying to them and yourself. That's not respect.

Cutting their hair does not equal iron fist.

Coffeeandbourbons · 25/04/2023 16:59

ThenILeft · 25/04/2023 16:47

I don't think it's hilarious, I think it's really important for children to have control over their own bodies and to be treated with respect, as we would all like to be treated. I just don't understand people ruling their children with an iron fist, what sort of relationship do you expect to have with them as they grow up? When are they allowed to make decisions form themselves, about things that don't really affect anything else?

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Cutting a kids hair isn’t ‘ruling with an iron fist’ for gods sake!

TooBored1 · 25/04/2023 17:08

Boughtitdownthemarket · 24/04/2023 07:24

You're the adult. Personally I would keep his hair short just to protect against nits. Obviously I know he will still catch them with short hair but they are easier to identify and treat. Insist on cutting it and you can use the shoes as a carrot.

So would a df have to cut their hair too?

TooBored1 · 25/04/2023 17:09

TooBored1 · 25/04/2023 17:08

So would a df have to cut their hair too?

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DD obvs!

Coffeeandbourbons · 25/04/2023 17:10

TooBored1 · 25/04/2023 17:08

So would a df have to cut their hair too?

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Well no because a little girl with a short back and sides would get teased, a boy wouldn’t?

ThenILeft · 25/04/2023 17:21

50percentNamaste50percentGoFuckYourself · 25/04/2023 16:49

They don't have control over their own bodies at six years old, if you tell them they do you are lying to them and yourself. That's not respect.

Cutting their hair does not equal iron fist.

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I think it's indicative of how people treat their children, giving them no choice when it would be easy to give choices makes no sense to me. They absolutely do need to know they have control over their bodies, six is easily old enough to know the impact of their decisions!

Livinginanotherworld · 25/04/2023 17:22

He’s 6, it’s not up to him, you are the parent.

FusionChefGeoff · 25/04/2023 17:35

Boughtitdownthemarket · 24/04/2023 07:24

You're the adult. Personally I would keep his hair short just to protect against nits. Obviously I know he will still catch them with short hair but they are easier to identify and treat. Insist on cutting it and you can use the shoes as a carrot.

Would you say this about a DD?

Loraloralaughs · 25/04/2023 17:39

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