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Original poster

To insist DS cuts his hair?

195 replies

Skodascream · 24/04/2023 07:18

DS is 6.5. He‘s always had short hair until now. It’s gone past the outgrown look and is just a mop of hair on his head. It is starting to fall into his eyes.

He is such a handsome boy, but I HATE his hair right now. And seeing it in his eyes is driving me crazy.

He says he wants to grow it.

Should I insist he gets it cut?

Or should I let him express himself?

I’m tempted to bribe him with the trainers he wants- only if he gets his hair cut!!

OP posts:
Darkchocolatekitkat · 24/04/2023 07:36

My rules since preschooler age for both son and daughter were that hair has to be clean, brushed/combed, out their face for school by some means or other (and tied up completely for eg sport) and that if it’s long there are no complaints about washing, brushing, drying etc. Length, style etc is then up to them but they both choose to have it short.

I wouldn’t force your son to have short hair OP but I would insist on it either being cut in a way so it’s out of his face or a hairband.

HappiestSleeping · 24/04/2023 07:38

Rainydaysgetmedown · 24/04/2023 07:31

He’s 6. If his hair is a mess and you hate it at the very least you get it tidied up. At 6 I made the overall decision about my children’s hair. I’m quite happy to tell my 13 year old his hair looks ridiculous when it gets too long.

This 👆

He's 6 years old. I didn't have any decision making privileges at that age and I'm not psychologically damaged by it (twitch).

GettingThereCharleyBear · 24/04/2023 07:43

@MissyB1 how many girls do you know with short hair? 🙄 Mums nowadays are obsessed with girls having the longest hair imaginable - they seem to be wear it as a badge of pride no matter how much of a mess it looks.

Dibbydoos · 24/04/2023 07:45

Let him do what he wants. Get him a head band or ties for a man bun!

Tradescantia252 · 24/04/2023 07:45

Do the school ask that it's tied out of his face? Most would for a girl with long hair.

justlurkinghere · 24/04/2023 07:47

I'd let him grow it (but I love long hair on anyone, male or female). I would insist it is tidied up and kept tidy though.

BingoLingFucker · 24/04/2023 07:48

Boughtitdownthemarket · 24/04/2023 07:24

You're the adult. Personally I would keep his hair short just to protect against nits. Obviously I know he will still catch them with short hair but they are easier to identify and treat. Insist on cutting it and you can use the shoes as a carrot.

Would you do the same for a girl?

Only asking because every single girl in DS’s primary school has very long hair and parents seem very keen on sticking to gender stereotypes when it comes to their dc’s appearance.

hungryh1ppo · 24/04/2023 07:48

My ds hates having his hair cut but also hates washing, conditioning and combing his hair. So we reached a compromise where he has it trimmed into a manageable but still longer style and can keep it long if it is well maintained.

Kickingupmerrybehaviour · 24/04/2023 07:49

I would cut it. My daughter’s all have short hair just below their ears.

Bradsgoodreally · 24/04/2023 07:55

I have been having the same problem with my 9 year old for the last 2-3 years. I am perfectly happy for him to choose his own hair style, but he refuses to brush it properly or tie it back. He looks unloved. I couple of months ago I strong armed him into a slight trim. He still had very long hair. He cried for two days. I will never force a hair cut on him gain because he was so upset. I am resigned to him looking a state because at least he is a cheerful state.

Gruf · 24/04/2023 07:57

His hair, he can make the decision. He probably has very little autonomy in his life so at least allow him this.

AuntieMarys · 24/04/2023 08:03

Bradsgoodreally · 24/04/2023 07:55

I have been having the same problem with my 9 year old for the last 2-3 years. I am perfectly happy for him to choose his own hair style, but he refuses to brush it properly or tie it back. He looks unloved. I couple of months ago I strong armed him into a slight trim. He still had very long hair. He cried for two days. I will never force a hair cut on him gain because he was so upset. I am resigned to him looking a state because at least he is a cheerful state.

How would he cope with nits? Fair enough let him have longer hair but only if he looks after it.

Quartz2208 · 24/04/2023 08:08

I suspect at the moment his hair is growing out between long and short where the front bit go forward rather than to the side. Not enough to tie back but enough to put a band in.

OP DS grew his hair (it is quite a trend due to footballers) and the in between stage was not good but now it looks good and suits him

its similar to fringe growing out so treat the same

EasterBreak · 24/04/2023 08:13

I made my son keep his hair short in primary school when he really wanted to grow it and feel really bad. No idea why I cared so much it wasn't my hair. I guess I wanted him to look smart. I made the wrong choice there. Let him be him op. He isn't hurting anyone.

Mischance · 24/04/2023 08:20

Girls are at risk of nits too ... we don't insist they cut their hair.
Leave him be ...

JuliaMclaughlin78 · 24/04/2023 08:23

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Bradsgoodreally · 24/04/2023 08:24

It is very easy to say that a child must look after their hair if they want it long. Physically holding a distressed child down while someone cuts their hair is really quite abusive. My son reluctantly agreed to his last hair cut and then cried afterwards, but I think now he would absolutely refuse a hair cut.

ParkrunPlodder · 24/04/2023 08:31

Boughtitdownthemarket · 24/04/2023 07:27

My daughter hates the doctor. Should I insist on her attending or allow her bodily autonomy? 😂I'm sorry but I think for a child, parents' wisdom needs to trump bodily autonomy.

Well yes when it’s health! But not when it’s personal choice on how to look. They’re not in the same ball park.

ParkrunPlodder · 24/04/2023 08:34

Personally I think it’s important to let children has as much age appropriate autonomy as possible…I didn’t realise how much I was accidentally viewing my children as an extension of myself until they started to make choices I wouldn’t make in a million years!

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 24/04/2023 08:37

I had dd2s hair cut short at 6
She hated having it brushed. It looked tatty and nits were rife.

ParkrunPlodder · 24/04/2023 08:37

And yes one of those was one of the boys wanting long hair! My DH almost had to tape his mouth shut not to say anything as he would hate to have long hair himself. I’m pretty sure he started growing it as a way to break free of those apron strings a bit but then ended up loving it long.

ParkrunPlodder · 24/04/2023 08:38

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 24/04/2023 08:37

I had dd2s hair cut short at 6
She hated having it brushed. It looked tatty and nits were rife.

I’ve did that too with our youngest but critically I made the suggestion and she made the choice.

Stripycatz · 24/04/2023 09:00

Are school not insisting it's tied up and out the way?

MissyB1 · 24/04/2023 09:05

GettingThereCharleyBear · 24/04/2023 07:43

@MissyB1 how many girls do you know with short hair? 🙄 Mums nowadays are obsessed with girls having the longest hair imaginable - they seem to be wear it as a badge of pride no matter how much of a mess it looks.

I’m championing short hair for girls - bring it back! It was quite normal when I was at school in the 70s and 80s.

GettingThereCharleyBear · 24/04/2023 09:06

@MissyB1 I’m fully on board with that but you’ve got your work cut out 😬.

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