To insist DS cuts his hair?

[Skodascream]

DS is 6.5. He‘s always had short hair until now. It’s gone past the outgrown look and is just a mop of hair on his head. It is starting to fall into his eyes.

He is such a handsome boy, but I HATE his hair right now. And seeing it in his eyes is driving me crazy.

He says he wants to grow it.

Should I insist he gets it cut?

Or should I let him express himself?

I’m tempted to bribe him with the trainers he wants- only if he gets his hair cut!!

MN is mental

I have just had this issue

find a photo of him when his hair was short where he looks really cool, older, whatever

find a pic of him with his new hair where he looks terrible

show him then next to each other and ask him what he wants to do

worked for us :)

That's ridiculous. Hair is just... hair. There's no risk to his health or welfare, its purely aesthetic and irrelevant whether its long or short.

His body his decision IMO or if its getting really messy perhaps the ends trimmed would be a compromise?

But it's hair? It's got nothing to do with his wellbeing.

What a silly comparison

Being responsible is not the same as being a dictator. I let my 7 year old choose lots of things - what to wear, how to have his hair, whether to walk or cycle to school, what cereal to have for breakfast. Etc etc. None of these things are a big deal for me but i think it's good for children to start to take some responsibility for their own decision making. Dictating what haircut a 6 year old has is completely ridiculous, unless you care more about what strangers think than your own child's happiness.

After 3 lots of nits in 6 months I did cut my daughter's hair. Nit management trumps feelings.

As long as your son doesn't moan about having his hair brushed and washed I'd let him have his hair however he wants.

Why not just give her a buzz cut then - so much easier to wash/manage. Bobs are actually much harder - if it's too short to tie up she's much more likely to get nits at school.

You can help children look after themselves without overruling decisions that have no affect on their health and well-being - school uniform is a school policy, hair styles are generally not! If he doesn't get enough sleep he'll eventually get poorly/or at least very unhappy - not so with hair length. Etc. Etc. It's just imposing your style/ choices on your kids for no reason. Now if child wanted long hair but refused to wash it, different discussion. Likewise if they wanted it all shaved off and wouldn't wear a hat in the summer. But not letting a kid grow their hair - where's the health and safety issue?

@SlippySarah I disagree. If the hair is in his eyes, it will affect his schoolwork and could potentially lead to him tripping over things. Also for their own well-being to look smart for school.

He is six. Who is the parent?

What a Ridiculous remarkable!!

I had a girl first and always let her choose her hairstyle, so I couldn’t really stop my son having long hair if she was allowed to. They went to a school where the only criteria was that hair was a possible natural colour but I think I would have fought it if my son wasn’t allowed long hair on sex discrimination grounds, and anyway his Sikh friends have long hair, although it’s in a bandana. Hair is different to clothes or bedtime as you can’t change length easily from day to day

Tell him it's fine to grow if that's what he wants but its good to get a trim when growing, to tidy it up and make it grow better. Then at least it'll be tidier but he gets to make this choice about his own hair.

So, yes yabu because you’re acting like it’s your hair, and your preferences are what matters, and attempting to bribe a small child with clothing to do something they clearly don’t want to do, it’s not nice.

when I was younger I worked in a nursing home, the residents all had stories to tell. One of the common ones was people talking about forced haircuts. You’d actually be surprised at how many people held on to that negative feeling for a lifetime. So if you think this is something easily forgotten you’re mistaken.

not only that but boys are in the hair roulette when they are born. You don’t know how long he will have it. I’ve seen young men balding in their late teens, and I actually hate the fact that more traditional parents are so keen to scalp their kids to look “smart”.

then the guff about nits. It’s perfectly possible to treat long hair, it’s just there’s parents that can be bothered, and parents that can’t.

its just laziness on the parents part to insist on asserting authority over something as personal as a haircut for their own convenience, no matter how upset the child is going to be or how long their going to have to live with it. It’s perfectly possible to treat nits with long hair, you just couldn’t be bothered.

and kids do hold on to grudges about this, have sat with little old ladies in nursing homes talking about this being done to them as children, so you better believe this attitude of yours will be remembered.

I really don’t understand how after decades of education and research we still have parents that feel like ruling with an iron fist is what works. Or that ensuring your child is unable to express their personality is acceptable.

Genuinely super strict parenting is how you end up with a child like me, and I don’t think anyone here wants that. Sure I might be successful and independent, and have done a lot with my life but I left home at 17, never went back, I don’t keep in touch with family, am covered in tattoos and piercings, moved as far away as was practical, and will quite literally hide in the cupboard rather than have family visit.

You reap what you sow. And that’s what super strict parenting got my parents.

I agree with this, hair can be such a big thing to a child. Some children don't care, and thats fine, but others do. I remember so clearly wanting my haircut age 4, and my mum letting me. She was always so kind and understanding, we are so close now. She really listened to me, treated me like a human being at every age.
I remember friends with strict parents and always being relieved I didn't have those parents and feeling sorry for them.

If he was 15 yes he should get more of a say, but at 6 you and dad still get to make most of his decisions. I mean you can let hi help choose the sort of haircut he wants, but if your criteria is that he looks tidy, can see and doesn’t need clips to keep it off his face, that’s what happens.
Just as I wouldn’t let my daughter grow her hair indefinitely ‘to be a princess’ until it looks straggly and thin. If she wants long hair, lovely, but must be a tidy long cut.

I think I nearly made my mom cry when the other day I said she'd done things right by not only allowing me to have my hair how I wanted but also helping me colour it, put streaks in etc. Because having her support and her help meant I got it done properly, I didn't try and chop it off myself or make a mess with bleach in secret because I knew she'd help. It built a good relationship between us and I'm fairly sure I'm a reasonable person despite being given choices over my body 🤔

It's hair. It's not comparable to the doctor, eating a variety of food, brushing teeth etc. People making those comparisons are crazy. He is old enough to know he wants it long. And then to know he wants a trim as evident from OPs update.

I would cut it.

You’re the parent, set the rules and follow through. If he wants long hair when he is older, that can be his decision.

I personally think it’s ridiculous when I see some boys with a full head of hair sometimes down to their back. I’m not saying your son’s hair is this long btw.

Be a parent and cut his hair. He will live and he will get over it.

He's 6, not 16. I'd just take him to the barbers and that's all.

Do you insist on short hair for girls too, for this reason?

Guessing that was as a teen though. At 6, your ma just cut your hair.

How much older? My cousin started going bald in his teens.