WWYD child unattended (6)

[SL472947]

I don't know what to do.

My DD6 has informed me that her dad (who she sees every other weekend) has let her go into a home bargains by herself while he waits outside with his dog.

He says that he has done it twice as it's teaching her self confidence and she can listen.

Personally I wouldn't allow her to do that alone as she is only 6. I can't explain to him that it isn't a safe thing to do as he wouldn't take anything I say onboard.

WWYD?

My concerns would be things like the child witnessing something they don’t understand or find scary without their adult there like someone being challenged for shoplifting or making an error of judgement like eating food without paying (despite your explanations of why this isn’t done) or breaking something on a shelf. I think that’s partly why the shop size matters to me, nipping in to a single room shop to buy a tube of smarties is a bit different to wandering aisles for half an hour. As I say though, maybe I’m just out of touch and more of a worrier. There’s plenty of things I’m happy for my dc to do, just less comfortable with a largish shop at age 6.

In my experience all home bargains are the same. One entrance and exit next to each other and a large window in front through which you can see the whole shop.

I probably wouldn't do this at 6 but I wouldnt have a problem if DH did it with DC. I can't really see a safety issue

Thank you for this. You're the only person so far with concerns who's given concrete examples. I suppose I was envisaging a set up where Dad says to child 'Here's some money, you can go into the shop and choose [list of acceptable and affordable things to buy]. You remember where those things are - right by the till. Go straight there, pick what you want, take it to the till and give the cashier your money. Don't touch anything else and don't eat anything you haven't paid for. Straight back to me here, and I won't move from this spot. OK?'

YANBU. I can't believe the dad would be able to see the child the whole time in a large shop like Home Bargains.

Everyone on this thread is talking as though the child in going into an old fashioned sweet shop size 12 foot by 12 foot.

Whilst the child would probably be ok I too think she is too young to be out of sight for that long.

As others have said, she could break something, eat something, pet a dangerous dog, fall over, and that's not even mentioning the small but perfectly possible risk of an opportunistic paedophile. Why take the risk??

I would think it looked a bit odd seeing a 6 year old walking around home bargains on their own, it's quite a big shop.

Well it depends, a couple of my local HB's are fairly small and the whole shop can be seen from the front window. Others are much larger.

What the hell. Why is everyone ok with this?

I wouldn't let my 10 year old go in alone.

A year away from secondary school and not able to pop into a shop while you're outside?

It's not popping into a shop. They are huge and people have trolleys full so the queue will be long.

Where does it say it’s a huge shop with huge queues? Not all home bargains are.

That sounds like an issue you need to work on.

I think a small shop where he can see her most of the time, and just for a quick thing like choosing a sweet is low risk, although I wouldn't have done it myself when my DC were that age. Kids that age are very likely to be a nuisance or need assistance which isn't fair on the staff. A larger store like Sainsbury's absolutely not, there was a child attacked in a toilet a few years ago, and there is much more scope for a 6 year old to be lured away in a large shop.

i think it is stupid and unfriendly of him to stand outside

As others have said, she could break something, eat something, pet a dangerous dog, fall over, and that's not even mentioning the small but perfectly possible risk of an opportunistic paedophile. Why take the risk??

How many dangerous dogs are there inside home bargains? Is there a Dangerous Dog aisle?

Same goes for a opportunistic paedophile - what are they going to do inside a shop?

I think it is a good thing to do, he is teaching her independence/responsibility in a safe way. If he is by the door, it’s not like she can be kidnapped.

Most kids were allowed out around the village to the shop, village green or the park once they’d started school so 4 or 5 and most kids walked to school without parents after their reception year. It was a small rural Welsh village though where everyone knew everyone and not much traffic, can appreciate in a larger area with busier roads it might be different. By 10 though I was getting the local bus into the town 6 miles away on my own or with same-aged friends and back again and going on bike rides to villages a few miles away etc.

Obviously these things do depend a bit on the local area and local culture/ expectations etc. There’s a Japanese TV show on Netflix where toddlers of 2/3 are sent off on errands to shops by themselves, walking distances of a mile or so, by themselves which just goes to show how much cultural expectations effect how responsible children can be. I don’t think most 2/ 3 year olds in the UK would be capable of what the Japanese kids are doing: https://www.netflix.com/title/81506279

Your child is a year away from secondary school and you wouldn’t let them go in a shop on their own??? Oh my goodness, talk about ridiculous

They are walking the dog. It would be even more stupid and unfriendly for him to tie it up outside.

I only know of huge home bargains I wouldn't do it personally also I've shopped in some where there are very weird people in they raise my hackles up

My last thought would be what if a staff member decides its inappropriate and calls the police? If the child gets scared and cannot articulate dad's outside?

so the dog is more important than his dd?

Because it's a good way to build independence.

I'm more shocked that you wouldn't let a 10yo in a shop alone - children walk to and from school alone at age 8 around here.

if she has to go in the shop he can carry the dog in?

What a weird conclusion.

You can't take dogs into Home Bargains.
You shouldn't leave a 6yo unattended with a dog.

Whereas a 6yo in an enclosed shop alone isn't particularly risky at all.

I think it totally depends on the child. This might have worked for my Dd who is NT but not my ds who is ND. And obviously beyond ND they all have different personalities and abilities.

I might have chosen a smaller shop with less chance of getting lost but maybe the area she visitors is near the exit.

No he can’t, dogs aren’t allowed in home bargains. Plus it could be a Great Dane for all we no.

You can't take dogs into Home Bargains unless they're service/guide dogs.