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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD child unattended (6)

303 replies

SL472947 · 23/04/2023 09:42

I don't know what to do.

My DD6 has informed me that her dad (who she sees every other weekend) has let her go into a home bargains by herself while he waits outside with his dog.

He says that he has done it twice as it's teaching her self confidence and she can listen.

Personally I wouldn't allow her to do that alone as she is only 6. I can't explain to him that it isn't a safe thing to do as he wouldn't take anything I say onboard.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Beetrootlover82 · 23/04/2023 10:15

Nothing

great for independence

but I’m guessing you and he don’t get on so you’re inclined to use this as something to have a go at him about?

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 23/04/2023 10:16

It sounds fine to me 🤷‍♀️

AnyFucker · 23/04/2023 10:16

Am surprised at these replies. Six is too young. An 8 year old, maybe ?

CremeEggThief · 23/04/2023 10:17

YABU. He is right to start teaching her these life skills in a safe way. She probably felt very proud of herself for paying too.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 23/04/2023 10:17

I used to walk to the village shop to get groceries from my mum on my own aged 6, all the local kids did. Appreciate it was different in the 90s but even nowadays going into a familiar shop whilst a parent waits outside is fine. Children don’t need an adult stick to their side 24/7.

TidyDancer · 23/04/2023 10:17

Can you explain why you've got such an issue with this? Just on the information you've given it sounds like quite a smart and sensible thing to do but I'm guessing there's a bit more to this since you've had such a reaction to it. I think unless you give your reasoning for the way you're feeling, you're only going to get responses based on the situation itself and not what might be influencing you.

WaltzingWaters · 23/04/2023 10:17

Provided there’s only one entrance/exit to the shop (that’s accessible) and she doesn’t take too long in there (goes straight over to what she’s looking for, pays, and goes back to her dad), I’d say it’s okay.

ExtraOnions · 23/04/2023 10:18

Have you not seen “Old Enough” on Netflix ? It’s amazing how clever and resilient small children can be .

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 23/04/2023 10:18

AnyFucker · 23/04/2023 10:16

Am surprised at these replies. Six is too young. An 8 year old, maybe ?

Surely it depends on the 6yo?

I never did this, but my ddc would certainly have been capable at that age, and she probably would have enjoyed it.

A different child might feel anxious and not like it.

How does your dd feel about it, OP?

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 23/04/2023 10:18

ExtraOnions · 23/04/2023 10:18

Have you not seen “Old Enough” on Netflix ? It’s amazing how clever and resilient small children can be .

I love that series!!Smile

HalliwellManor · 23/04/2023 10:18

I wouldn't have a problem with it,she can't leave the store without going past him,if it was a huge store and she was completelty out of sight then I'd feel slightly concerned but if it was a smaller store where you can see her in the shop then no,it wouldn't bother me

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 23/04/2023 10:19

Can't see the problem. He walks her there and walks her back. Children need to learn to do things for themselves. When I was 6 (a very long time ago) I was sent to the shops on my own, which involved crossing at least one road. I went in, asked for a loaf of bread, handed over the money, took the change, walked home. There was less traffic on the roads than there is now, but not none. I wouldn't regard that as safe, but what your ex is doing is absolutely fine, unless there's a massive dripfeed coming that there are four different exits and a known paedophile ring operating in the area.

CurlewKate · 23/04/2023 10:19

Is it because of the mysterious "anything" that might happen?

Sugarfree23 · 23/04/2023 10:19

What can go wrong?
I don't really see the issue

Beetrootlover82 · 23/04/2023 10:19

I don’t think we have given why the Op was hoping for…. Which was lots of gasps of horror!!

AmyandPhilipfan · 23/04/2023 10:20

The only problem I would have would be if he was letting her go in to 'browse' the toy aisle for ages and she was in there touching everything and making a nuisance of herself and annoying the staff.

Actually going in the shop by herself to buy a drink or whatever I would have no issue with.

AmandaHoldensLips · 23/04/2023 10:21

Another one here saying WTF she's 6!!!! No way would I let my 6 year old go into any place unattended. I'd want to have eyes-on every second.

Createausername1970 · 23/04/2023 10:21

If you are sure he is outside and watching, and you think she is mature enough, then I can't really see a problem. If you thought she was immature for her age then perhaps you might have reasonable concerns,

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 23/04/2023 10:21

AmandaHoldensLips · 23/04/2023 10:21

Another one here saying WTF she's 6!!!! No way would I let my 6 year old go into any place unattended. I'd want to have eyes-on every second.

Why? What do you think she will do if you are not glued to her side?

Bk1000 · 23/04/2023 10:22

My 5 yo loves to go into the small local shop on his own and buy a sweetie for himself. I can see him though the window. Sometimes it’s a disaster and I have to go in and help other times he manages to do it and he is really pleased with himself! Probably by the time he is on the other side of 6 he could manage a wee trip round home bargains although god knows what he would try to buy if he was unsupervised with money in there 😂

AgnestaVipers · 23/04/2023 10:22

So long as he's not getting her to buy booze and fags...

AndTheSurveySays · 23/04/2023 10:23

It's perfectly fine.

Swanfavourite · 23/04/2023 10:23

Brilliant, he's helping her to learn independence.

WandaWonder · 23/04/2023 10:23

AmandaHoldensLips · 23/04/2023 10:21

Another one here saying WTF she's 6!!!! No way would I let my 6 year old go into any place unattended. I'd want to have eyes-on every second.

This is one of the reasons it appears there is growing numbers of kids with issues

LadyPenelope68 · 23/04/2023 10:23

Your title is misleading and over dramatic. She’s going into a shop whilst her Dad is outside. You’re making a mountain out of a molehill.

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