WWYD child unattended (6)

[SL472947]

I don't know what to do.

My DD6 has informed me that her dad (who she sees every other weekend) has let her go into a home bargains by herself while he waits outside with his dog.

He says that he has done it twice as it's teaching her self confidence and she can listen.

Personally I wouldn't allow her to do that alone as she is only 6. I can't explain to him that it isn't a safe thing to do as he wouldn't take anything I say onboard.

WWYD?

Personally this would freak me out a bit as well, but this is why it's good for kids to have both mum and dad around. The mums are good at keeping them safe and fed and giving them emotional support yammer yadder, and the dads push them to do slightly riskier (but not necessarily unsafe) behaviour. We also have a 6 year old, and she is much more clingy around me. She'll do more adventurous things with her dad (which is wierd, because I would say I was the more adventurous of the two of us. DH would probably disagree).

If you're concerned about it though, you should speak to your ex. Don't tell him what to do, just ask for reassurance. It's so easy to start believing the worst of an ex, when most of the time all parents want their kids to be safe, happy and healthy. You have to parent together and if you don't communicate with each other that will just hurt your child far more than it hurts either of you. Please take it from me as a step parent who has watched her step children be torn apart by their parents absolutely refusing to communicate with each other.

Aren’t you dramatic ffs 🤣 I’m sure other humans you encounter in supermarkets are grosser.

Is DD unhappy, or is this purely all your own reaction?

From your OP, I agree with your ex: it’s a good way to build confidence and independence. Unless there are multiple exists it is a non-issue.

*exits

Against the grain here but I’d be worried about chance of something bad happening like them being accused of shoplifting, someone scaring them in the shop (e.g., doing/saying something intimidating), or something along this vein.

when I was a kid (about 9) some gross older man mentioned how pretty I was and how I should be ‘with someone’ - terrified me what he might have done or tried if he thought I was alone… I was with an older cousin who was in next aisle

and a school friend who happens to be POC was once (we were about 10 maybe, I think it was summer after the above incident) was accused of shoplifting, by another customer… she was screaming in my friends face that she had stolen sweets… shop person made her empty her pockets - no sweets - we were both shaken up

I know the likelihood of this happening is small but HB is a big shop and you can’t see all round it from outside… only takes a few seconds for something to happen that stays with them
for life

I think it's okay. I have done this when I've had the dog (admittedly a smaller store). She can't get out without him as he's at the door.

Personally this would freak me out a bit as well, but this is why it's good for kids to have both mum and dad around. The mums are good at keeping them safe and fed and giving them emotional support yammer yadder, and the dads push them to do slightly riskier (but not necessarily unsafe) behaviour.

How to insult and offend all single parents in one go. Are you from the 1950s?

How to insult and offend all single parents in one go. Are you from the 1950s?

I've read theories like this before, supposedly there is a grain of truth to them

@poppysockies but both parents can't be with kids at all times. Very unrealistic.

Both parents don't have to be with the child all the time, but both parents would be raising them to get a balance.

And it's a very general theory- some dads will be more cautious and and some mums will push thief offspring to be challenged and let them risk certain situation.

Yabu. Perfectly old enough if he's waiting outside

ONE post from OP on Sunday.

Last time I was in a similar shop with my little one, 2 shoplifters cleared the shelf behind us. I wouldn't want a 6 year old having to deal with that without a parent with them. Alarms went off, there was shouting and they weren't bothered who was between them and the way out. Not a rare event anymore sadly.

My 6 year old walks to school by himself (ok admit he'll be 7 soon)

Also leave him home alone to go to rlthe shops etc.

What is the problem?

I think 6 is a bit young, unless it was a tiny newsagent or something like that. My concern is whether the Dad is actually watching her and the door, or whether he’s on his phone, getting distracted by the dog etc.

I think those are very different situations to the OP and lots of parents today in the UK wouldn’t be comfortable with the level of risk involved in a 6yo being home alone and walking to school alone, even if mainly because of crossing roads. Most schools aren’t either. A number of things could be concerns. It depends, if you live next door to school it’s very different to walking for half an hour and crossing a main road. Even so, 6yo is young to be left home alone. If they injure themselves accidentally, then no one is there to help. Less commonly, if there’s a fire, they might panic and not follow the plan for emergencies or if the doorbell goes, they might answer the door to someone unsafe. However, parents make their own decisions. Mine personally would obviously be I wouldn’t be comfortable with either my 6yo home alone or walking to school alone.

Are you, like me old enough to remember the James Bulger case?

I think some of the responses on here are insane. I do hope the dad has eyes on her throughout and not looking on his phone instead of paying attention.

My almost 6yr old is pretty savvy, but I wouldn’t be ok with this. I suppose different areas are different in terms of risk, but hard NO for me

If your child is comfortable with that, and you feel he could do what’s needed in an emergency to keep safe, there’s no issue. But a lot of children that age wouldn’t be! My son is just turning 6 & very savvy. But he would be scared if I wasn’t in the house. And I wouldn’t want to put him in the position if something awful happened

Well I agree with OP. Small corner shop is OK but a big home bargains? Anyone can sneak a child out of a huge shop with several people coming in and out, particularly with a distraction on dad. Or she gets rammed by a trolley, knocks over a glass item/mug etc and panics?

I have no issue in principle. But my 5.5 year old would disappear into the toy aisle, never to be seen again.

🫤

Yup, sitting here in my full dress, sparkling little pinny on, dusting my spotless house while I'm waiting for hubby to come back from work, when I'll give him a glass of scotch to relax with while I put the finishing touches to the meal. Come for a cup of tea, I can give you one of my home baked shortbreads (no icing laden cupcakes in this 1950s house!!) Bring your kids, they can play with hoops and stick dolls (oops - wrong time period?) 😄

Sorry, replied to wrong person. Prob because I'm from the 1950s 😅

What's wrong with that. Dad outside. I've DD who 6 and no dog but been encouraging her to do similar whilst I hover near by in sight. It's confidence boosting.