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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have slept with my best friends father in law at her wedding?

169 replies

Pillowfork · 23/04/2023 07:27

My best friend and her now DH got married yesterday- beautiful wonderful day it was perfect. She met him as I know his dad from work, there's an age gap but we've always got on well and one night out we saw him and his son out so I introduced my BF and it went from there.

Anyway, despite the age gap there's always been sexual tension between me and his dad (we are both single so no issue on that side). After the reception I asked if he wanted to come to my room- we were staying in the hotel where the reception was held as were most of the guests. One thing led to another and we had sex; bit of alcohol involved but both able to make a rational decision just got swept away I think.

No regrets in regard to sleeping with him, we both talked about it this morning and are both alright, no one else knows either (unless they were spying but ridiculously unlikely). But I feel really guilty- she's my best friend and I don't usually keep anything from her but obviously this I will. I'm just worried in case she does find out, I guess it didn't affect her day at all but dunno just overthinking maybe, is it that big of a deal in reality?!

OP posts:
Phoebo · 23/04/2023 07:31

When I read the title I thought bad, but given you already knew him it's different. But at her wedding!! I think you and the FIL need to take that secret to the grave!

Buttonsandlace · 23/04/2023 07:32

I am not sure why you feel guilty or why the bride would be upset.

BackOfTheMum5net · 23/04/2023 07:32

You are both single, it would be weird if it were her dad but neither of you have betrayed anyone.
Unless it becomes regular or a serious relationship, or you think you may have been seen I would keep this to yourself.

Bleakhouser · 23/04/2023 07:33

I wouldn’t tell her, at least not right now until the dust settles. Let her enjoy the wedding afterglow.

Wedoronron · 23/04/2023 07:34

When you tell her point out you could be her stepmum if things progress 😜

pinedpiper · 23/04/2023 07:34

Nothing to be guilty about, sounds like a fun night!

nomoredriving · 23/04/2023 07:35

You're fine, you did nothing wrong! Tell her if you want, but don't if you don't!

If that makes sense.

luckylavender · 23/04/2023 07:36

I'm not sure why this is in AIBU?

itwasntmetho · 23/04/2023 07:36

He’s your friend before he’s her father in law.
if I were your friend I wouldn’t care, I don’t understand why you couldn’t tell her but up to you.

poppysockies · 23/04/2023 07:38

You haven't done anything wrong, but yes I'd definitely not confide in your friend about it!

MushMonster · 23/04/2023 07:38

If you are both single, who cares? You are overthinking this

greenwaterbottle12 · 23/04/2023 07:40

Wouldn't tell her just in case it upsets her but you're both single so you've done nothing wrong. Sounds like you had a good day and night Grin

Phoebo · 23/04/2023 07:43

I only say don't tell her as people can be funny about their weddings, but you know her best and she might not be bothered by it at all. If you are going to tell her, at least wait a month or so so she can enjoy the 'afterglow' as PP said. I also liked the comment about being her stepmum 🤣

DeflatedAgain · 23/04/2023 07:43

I would take this one to the grave OP.

Unless you think something could materialise in the long run..? Or was it just a one off?

TellHimDirectlyInDetail · 23/04/2023 07:44

Why is it obvious that you won't tell her?

Weallgottachangesometime · 23/04/2023 07:44

Hold up….is there potential you could become her step-MIL????!!! 😀

I think it’s not the end of the word but I wouldn’t mention it to her. Although is it likely more will come of it?

Kvetching · 23/04/2023 07:45

Can’t see a problem 🤷‍♀️

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 23/04/2023 07:45

Obviously you’ve done nothing “wrong” but I can totally see your friend not being happy. Take it to the grave

Beingnobody · 23/04/2023 07:46

How big is the age gap?

JanglyBeads · 23/04/2023 07:48

Presumably you used contraception?

Hallmark1234 · 23/04/2023 07:50

It's really not a big deal. You are both single and knew him before she met his son. Keep last night quiet, as although it shouldn't be, she may feel it was inappropriate at her wedding, but you are bound to be in each others company in future, so see how things develop, in front of them, so to speak and I bet they'll be thrilled if you get together!

determinedtomakethiswork · 23/04/2023 07:50

Couldn't have been such a great night if you're posting about it at 7 o'clock in the morning!

AllIeveknewonlyou · 23/04/2023 07:50

luckylavender · 23/04/2023 07:36

I'm not sure why this is in AIBU?

Should she tell her, should she not

Original poster
Pillowfork · 23/04/2023 07:52

I'm not planning on telling her ever! He won't tell anyone either, just the fear she will find out from elsewhere but unlikely. I haven't been to sleep yet as having breakfast with the girls soon before going home to hibernate. Thankfully she will rightfully be with her new DH this morning not with us!

OP posts:
Strugglingtodomybest · 23/04/2023 07:52

determinedtomakethiswork · 23/04/2023 07:50

Couldn't have been such a great night if you're posting about it at 7 o'clock in the morning!

It's not 7am everywhere 🤣