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Original poster

To have slept with my best friends father in law at her wedding?

169 replies

Pillowfork · 23/04/2023 07:27

My best friend and her now DH got married yesterday- beautiful wonderful day it was perfect. She met him as I know his dad from work, there's an age gap but we've always got on well and one night out we saw him and his son out so I introduced my BF and it went from there.

Anyway, despite the age gap there's always been sexual tension between me and his dad (we are both single so no issue on that side). After the reception I asked if he wanted to come to my room- we were staying in the hotel where the reception was held as were most of the guests. One thing led to another and we had sex; bit of alcohol involved but both able to make a rational decision just got swept away I think.

No regrets in regard to sleeping with him, we both talked about it this morning and are both alright, no one else knows either (unless they were spying but ridiculously unlikely). But I feel really guilty- she's my best friend and I don't usually keep anything from her but obviously this I will. I'm just worried in case she does find out, I guess it didn't affect her day at all but dunno just overthinking maybe, is it that big of a deal in reality?!

OP posts:
Devoutspoken · 23/04/2023 08:48

All those saying it doesn't impact others, it may well do one day, all for the sake of a shag

jetadore · 23/04/2023 08:49

Buttonsandlace · 23/04/2023 07:32

I am not sure why you feel guilty or why the bride would be upset.

Yeh, no idea why anyone wouldn’t like to have the memory of the “happiest day of their life” tainted by the mental image of your dad shagging your best mate.

5128gap · 23/04/2023 08:50

JaneFondue · 23/04/2023 08:32

I must be the lone voice who thinks it's tacky and grim to choose this occasion. Anyway let's hope she never finds out.

No. There's me too!
Very surprised at all these people who exist in vacuums where they do as they please and never feel the need to factor the opinions or impact on others into their decisions. In RL I don't know many women who'd put their right to have secret sex with a man their dad's age at the wedding of his son to their BF, ahead of concern for the impact on their friendship with his DiL.
Sounds like some of the responses here have been written by middle aged men to me!

Barrythetimesprout · 23/04/2023 08:51

As a little thought experiment let's turn this round shall we?
How does 'At my wedding a friend of my new husband fucked my mum' sound?

VaddaABeetch · 23/04/2023 08:52

Is there sausage at the breakfast buffet?

MeinKraft · 23/04/2023 08:53

VaddaABeetch · 23/04/2023 08:52

Is there sausage at the breakfast buffet?

The whole thing sounds like a sausage fest

pictoosh · 23/04/2023 08:55

Shame he couldn't just enjoy his son's wedding for what it was tbh. Now it's that time he shagged Pillowfork as well. I dunno, just seems rather...lacking in dignity I suppose. The occasion didn't need extra. The pair of you could have banged each other any old time...seeing as it was soooo anticipated anyway. Taking your opportunity cheapens the day. What a sleazy, selfish father he is.

Ok I've said it. That is all.

pastaandpesto · 23/04/2023 08:59

Tarantullah · 23/04/2023 08:47

I don't know, some threads I think are absolutely ridiculous but then some people do some bloody weird things in real life. I don't think it's outside the realm of possibility, I guess it's not a thread people are expending a lot of emotional energy on replying to, it's horrible when serious threads are a load of made up crap and people provide brilliant advice only for it to be deleted that it's sad imo.

Wonder how the breakfast is going, scrambled eggs with a side of shame yet satisfaction.

Show quote history

Im this scenario it doesn't really matter whether the OP is genuine or not. What's interesting is the debate that follows.

VincentVaguer · 23/04/2023 09:01

pastaandpesto · 23/04/2023 08:59

Im this scenario it doesn't really matter whether the OP is genuine or not. What's interesting is the debate that follows.

Show quote history

I don't agree. Never think there's any point expending energy on made up bollocks, if I want fiction I'll read a book. But each to their own.

Devoutspoken · 23/04/2023 09:02

I'd be pretty pissed off if my dad did this at my wedding

GoodChat · 23/04/2023 09:02

pictoosh · 23/04/2023 08:55

Shame he couldn't just enjoy his son's wedding for what it was tbh. Now it's that time he shagged Pillowfork as well. I dunno, just seems rather...lacking in dignity I suppose. The occasion didn't need extra. The pair of you could have banged each other any old time...seeing as it was soooo anticipated anyway. Taking your opportunity cheapens the day. What a sleazy, selfish father he is.

Ok I've said it. That is all.

Why's your post all about him when OP has done the exact same to her best friend?

It's clear this was about opportunity. It's OP who invited him back to her room. They're as bad as each other.

LolaSmiles · 23/04/2023 09:04

Why must she tell anyone who she slept with? 2 consenting single adults, they can do what they like, it doesn't impact anyone else. All this "take it to the grave" business, she hasn't done anything wrong, op knew the bloke before op knew her husband besides, they could have already been shagging for all the mate knows.
I'd say take it to the grave because whilst two friends having sex at a wedding isn't the be all and end all, the fact that they're close to or related to the wedding couple adds an extra level of potential drama given that (as this thread shows) there's a lot of people who think that the wedding couple get to have a say or be annoyed over who sleeps with who at their wedding.

If it was a one night stand and the friendship continues I wouldn't see any point in sharing it, but then I've never been someone who told all my friends the details of my sex life in general.

Lovelyring · 23/04/2023 09:05

Two consenting single adults? It wouldn't bother me.

I'd actually like it if my wedding led to two of the guests getting together.

And she only met her DH because of your friendship with the father.

GoodChat · 23/04/2023 09:09

LolaSmiles · 23/04/2023 09:04

Why must she tell anyone who she slept with? 2 consenting single adults, they can do what they like, it doesn't impact anyone else. All this "take it to the grave" business, she hasn't done anything wrong, op knew the bloke before op knew her husband besides, they could have already been shagging for all the mate knows.
I'd say take it to the grave because whilst two friends having sex at a wedding isn't the be all and end all, the fact that they're close to or related to the wedding couple adds an extra level of potential drama given that (as this thread shows) there's a lot of people who think that the wedding couple get to have a say or be annoyed over who sleeps with who at their wedding.

If it was a one night stand and the friendship continues I wouldn't see any point in sharing it, but then I've never been someone who told all my friends the details of my sex life in general.

To be fair, there's been sexual tension for a long time and they've seized the opportunity and both enjoyed themselves so it'll happen again.

Probably at christenings and birthday parties etc etc. eventually they'll be found out and it'll be the deceit that hurts, not the sex.

Greenfairydust · 23/04/2023 09:12

''@BitchFaceResting · Today 08:38
@Greenfairydust Read the OP! He did not hit on her. It was a mutual attraction, happening before the wedding. They both wanted each other so much, they chose to do it at a wedding
So many people on MN ready to blame the man without ascertaining/reading facts''

He is an older guy and the father of the groom. So it is actually worse on his part to do this.

Of course it is reciprocated. Still grim. ''Hit on her'' meant he chose to act on the attraction at an inappropriate time and place.

''They both wanted each other so much, they chose to do it at a wedding''

Come on, they are both grown adults and perfectly able to control their impulses.

Bizarre comment really...

5128gap · 23/04/2023 09:13

Lovelyring · 23/04/2023 09:05

Two consenting single adults? It wouldn't bother me.

I'd actually like it if my wedding led to two of the guests getting together.

And she only met her DH because of your friendship with the father.

You'd be happy if your mother had sex with your husband's best mate at your wedding? You're unusual if so.

Tarantullah · 23/04/2023 09:25

5128gap · 23/04/2023 09:13

You'd be happy if your mother had sex with your husband's best mate at your wedding? You're unusual if so.

Show quote history

Put like that I change my mind it is a bit ew.

LolaSmiles · 23/04/2023 09:28

To be fair, there's been sexual tension for a long time and they've seized the opportunity and both enjoyed themselves so it'll happen again.

Probably at christenings and birthday parties etc etc. eventually they'll be found out and it'll be the deceit that hurts, not the sex
What's the deceit though? Nobody is obliged to tell their friends every time they sleep with someone. They've been friends a long time, they're not having a secret relationship, they are friends who've had sex one night and might on other occasions if they decide that's what they want to. It's not like they're deciding to make OP the groom's step mother .

It's not a decision I'd make personally, but they were friends before the couple were introduced, and consenting sex is between the two adults involved, not the two adults involved plus everyone else who might have an opinion.

Devoutspoken · 23/04/2023 09:28

Or imagine being the ex wife at the wedding, seeing your ex sniff around your dil's best friend

AllIeveknewonlyou · 23/04/2023 09:29

Ex wife is happily remarried many years ago.

GoodChat · 23/04/2023 09:30

LolaSmiles · 23/04/2023 09:28

To be fair, there's been sexual tension for a long time and they've seized the opportunity and both enjoyed themselves so it'll happen again.

Probably at christenings and birthday parties etc etc. eventually they'll be found out and it'll be the deceit that hurts, not the sex
What's the deceit though? Nobody is obliged to tell their friends every time they sleep with someone. They've been friends a long time, they're not having a secret relationship, they are friends who've had sex one night and might on other occasions if they decide that's what they want to. It's not like they're deciding to make OP the groom's step mother .

It's not a decision I'd make personally, but they were friends before the couple were introduced, and consenting sex is between the two adults involved, not the two adults involved plus everyone else who might have an opinion.

The deceit is in attending family events so they can shag

AllIeveknewonlyou · 23/04/2023 09:33

Oh come on, they both would have been there anyway.

LolaSmiles · 23/04/2023 09:37

The deceit is in attending family events so they can shag
But they wouldn't be attending family events so they can shag! They've been friends a long time and would be invited to events regardless of what their sex life is doing. This is all getting full of whataboutery based on two friends who've slept together at a wedding where the couple only met through the two people who shagged.

Based on some of the posters views, nobody should ever introduce friends to other friends and family as a matchmaker, just in case at some point in the future the match made friends get married and the original two friends sleep with each other.

It's not a choice I'd make in OP's situation, but the idea that a couple get to veto what two consenting adults (who have been friends a long time) do and/or demand to be fully told what two consenting adults do in their sex life is a bit over the top to me.

RitaFires · 23/04/2023 09:40

I think it's a bit Hollyoaks to have sex with the groom's dad at your best friend's wedding.

If I were the bride and I found out, I wouldn't be too impressed and I might wonder if there was some kind of resentment involved in the friendship to cause you to act out at the wedding.

Daisybuttercup12345 · 23/04/2023 09:41

You don't have to tell your best friend everything. I wouldn't tell her this .