To be in tears over my nose?

[TheLostNights]

I never let anyone take photos of me as I am a very ugly woman. But the thing that bothers me most is my nose. It is very long and pointy. DH took a photo of one of the kids the other day and my side profile is in it and my nose just looked horrific.
Perhaps foolishly, I googled ways to minimise it naturally like with make up etc but came across an article about a man with the world's longest nose. His was 8CM. Or just over. Measured mine just now from top to the bottom and it's just over 7CM. Which now makes me feel even worse. DH started shouting at me saying it's getting like an obsession but I just hate how freak like it makes me look. Everyone else looks beautiful or at least normal. I hate the fact that unless I have a nose job (which I can't afford ) then I am stuck looking like this.

Photo ?

@NameChangedSoYouDontKnowHowBrokenMyHeartIs

You seem barmy. Ugly personalities can make ugly appearances.

Most people want love and a relationship.

Usually people want to be pretty becaise it’s more accetable.
We are groomed as a society to hold beauty as valuable, if you deny this, you are silly.

What to gain?
Love, relationship, not having to be alone, accaptance, value. Everything.
studies have shown that people treat good looking people better.
If you want a relationship, and majority do, specially as a woman, good looks will give you mich better change of finding love.

Halo effect, people like and treat good looking people better.
It’s silly to say who cares.

And tou know nothing about mine.

You still got a hubby though….

Yeah you're just starting to sound like an incel now.

And now your talking about yourself I assume.
I guess it can, I don’t really believe that.
Mist people don’t seem to mind, so I’m sure you’re okey.

OP, I hated my nose when I was younger, after a couple of people commented on it. So eventually I had a nose job. I don't regret it, but now I look back at photos before it was done and realise my old nose was just fine.

@Wiccan that's so mean of that woman

That's the point I'm making

Good lord!

So cleary you can’t be that bad looking.

What on earth @Wiccan ? I've never said a girl wanting to remove her breasts is to quote 'living her true life' where did that come from?I'd think she needed therapy first and foremost actually!! It is obsessing if she can't think of anything else. It's body dysmorphia. We all have flaws but we don't all cry over them daily. We accept them, accept ourselves and know that if anyone cannot accept us for who we are then frankly they are the dick.

I think some people find it easier to blame the shallowness of society for why they can't find a partner, rather than explore the idea that maybe there is something off-putting about their personality. People don't tend to be drawn to bitterness and negativity, for example. Whereas I know/have seen plenty of people who aren't conventionally pretty have great love and lives. And I've known plenty of conventionally pretty people have their partners leave eventually when they realise that that prettiness doesn't go beyond the surface. Quite a lot of second wives/husbands are not as good-looking as the first.

I am

I always thought a long nose is attractive. People want big eyes, a long nose and full lips.

Have you had or considered having any counselling about it?

I should probably name change for this, as it’s very outing for those who know me well, but hey ho.

I had rhinoplasty when younger, largely under pressure from my parents who were obsessed with their noses (and thus mine). It taught me just one thing: that it doesn’t matter. I was still exactly the same person before and after, and what the nose looked like made not a jot of a difference. I can’t believe I went under GA and had my face hacked into for that.

In the end the surgery didn’t quite work - I have a smaller nose but it has a very prominent ridge on one side (another lesson here - it doesn’t always work). I completely refused to do anything further about it. It’s never held me back. Sure, there are photos I don’t like. But everyone has those, and ultimately I find I don’t care. When I think about people, I think about their personality, attitude, humour, charm, how they treat others, and not about their noses.

Give yourself a chance by trying not to worry about it for a bit and see how you feel. I hope you can move past that to be happy. 💐

I know or have known so may people who aren’t so called pretty on the inside or have any type of a personality, who are in long term relationship, who are loved.
So this theory isin’t true.

Why someone needs to deny that beauty matters- it has been proven, is a mystery to me.
Maybe that makes them feel better and more in control or something, I don’t know.

We'll mine is 6cm long, on a very random measure (not educated in how to measure a nose, sorry), and I think I'm pretty decent looking. My DH must find me attractive too and I think he is very good looking.

I'll be honest though, I can't stand a profile picture, and I always look at my nose and my chin, and I don't like what I see. I never see the side of my face though and so it is almost alien to see myself like that.

@NameChangedSoYouDontKnowHowBrokenMyHeartIs and you're surprised you've been called an incel? Stop acting like one!

I agree with the others who say I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think, but if it truly affects your mental well-being there’s no harm in getting a consultation.

btw I would say I’m ugly but I’ve been w my dh for 30 years! He saw something in me that I don’t 😆 he also has a big nose but it suits him, dd has inherited it - used to hate it but likes it now, she’s grown into it over the years.,

So this theory isin’t true.

What theory? I'm just sharing my experience. It's as true as yours.

No one is denying beauty matters to some people. Clearly beauty matters to you. But it doesn't matter to everyone. How hard have you tried to find someone? Do you only want a facially-attractive partner? Have you actually asked people?

OP, have you considered you might have some kind of body dysmorphia?

You may have a big nose, or a long nose. I don't believe that it is making you 'horrific', 'ugly' or a 'freak'. Those are all purely subjective terms. Who decides what is 'horrific'? You are telling yourself a story, a really cruel story.

I think you may find it helpful to talk to a counsellor or therapist.

I couldn't not reply to this. I started looking into surgery at 16 as mine was really getting me down so much. I even went to an appointment but the surgeon put me off, then asked me to get professional photos taken...obviously as a way to put me off. I used to go to school and walk home as i couldnt bear to even be there with my appearance. Teenage insecurity perhaps. I discovered alcohol and going out etc and put it on the back-burner for a few years, went to uni for a year then decided to go for it again. I had saved 3500 through my weekend job so could afford it. Just after my 20th birthday I had my surgery, lived in a bnb for a week living on bananas and bread until the bandages came off. It was very straight forward, no nose breakage needed so minimal bruising.

I can say it changed my life. No one (bar my parents who knew) actually noticed...but one woman commented that I had turned from an ugly ducking into a beautiful Swan although she didn't know why. People commented how good I looked but they didn't know why, thought it was because I had removed my glasses. I went on to be a teacher...there's not a chance I would've done this without the surgery.

I had the best time in my twenties, my confidence was so improved. I enjoyed a lot if positive attention whereas before I was called ugly to my face.

But the fact that you're married with kids means as a pp said you had the confidence to date and get married etc. I sometimes think if I had stayed looking the same would I have been OK too? But at one stage I thought I would rather die than not go ahead and change things, but then again I was only 16 having these thoughts. So glad I had the option there.

Barbara Streisand had a massive nose in photos of her when she was young. She owned it and she looked beautiful.

It was very long.
So beauty and nose length are definitely not correlated.

I personally am on this thread 1 because I don't like my nose so it's good to be on a thread that someone feels the same but it's also about body hate I do wonder why people are drawn to this thread if they don't suffer this ?